I have a silly question...

[Lindsay27]

I formula fed DS nearly right from the get-go. I'd like to keep my options open this time around, I would very much like to breast feed if possible, but I'm also of the mind-set that if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and I would hopefully not be crushed by this like I was the first time.

With DS he had a good latch right away which was fantastic.  But day after day after day, the milk did not come.  And DS got increasingly frustrated, was losing tons of weight, and screamed all.day.long because he was starving.  It took a week (about 7 full days) before I had ANY milk come in, and by that time I'd already given up.  He was under 6lbs so I was advised that he needed to nurse every 2 hours and that I needed to pump in between.  I would "feed" him 20mins on each side (40mins) and then I would pump 15mins on each side (30mins) and then I would have less than an hour before I started this whole process over again...all day long, meanwhile he is screaming literally the entire time because he was so hungry, and he was constantly bobbing on/off because he wasn't getting anything.  I was a complete and utter mess.  I was exhausted, I felt guilty because I couldn't feed my child, and I spent the first week of his life in a bucket of tears.

The first time I gave him a bottle with formula he stopped crying.  And stayed that way.  And was happy.  And satisfied.  And that was it for me, I was done.

So my silly question is...what do you do until your milk comes in?  I am just trying to prepare myself in case this happens again.

[Tatumsmom]

I always wondered that too... My milk didn't come in for 5 days after dd was born, and oh my was she mad. I would breastfeed first and then top up with bottles. I ended up with an over supply, I had enough to feed 3 kids  . I was lucky as my DD never had touble going back and forth between the two. I breastfed for about 6 months and then switched to bottles. With DS it was the same but I stopped breastfeeding at 3 months.

I was always told that the colostrum was enough for the early days but both my lo's didn't think so....

[Lindsay27]

I would breastfeed first and then top up with bottles.

This is what we were essentially doing as well, I would breastfeed and then top up...but once I was topping him up he pretty well didn't want to breastfeed at all anymore.  And why would he...he had to work and work for nothing because there was no milk there when he could get instant food from topping up.  When we were topping up we did it with a syringe and not a bottle and the nurses would actually dribble it over my breast to make him 'think' it was coming from the breast.  Not even that worked.

I was always told that the colostrum was enough for the early days but both my lo's didn't think so....

Neither did he.  He screamed day and night. 

[Mama2boys]

with DS1 I had to top up after a bf but the doc limited how much so that he would not be too full for the next BF

[ENMS]

You can use a little tube you insert in his mouth when he feeds to supplement - I think it is called supplemental nursing system.

http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=doc-LA

It took 7 days for my milk to come in with DD1 but it came much much quicker with DS and DD2. Hopefully it comes more quickly for you this time around.

[*Ali*]

It is not a silly question at all.

It's important to understand that breasts are not empty until the milk comes in. There is milk in your breasts from weeks before your baby is born. It is thick and called colostrum. This is normally enough to keep LO satisfied until the milk "comes in". And that just means that it gets thinner and more milk-like and there is more of it. There is more info here. http://kellymom.com/ages/newborn/when-will-my-milk-come-in/

Lindsay, I'm sorry to hear you had such a difficult time of it with your first LO. It definitely sounds like there was a lot more to it than just normal waiting for the milk to come in. That normally only takes 2-5 days. It could have been an issue with the latch or milk transfer or the milk production and supply itself. Impossible to know now. But the good news is such issues with a first child are not indicative of problems with later children so there is no reason to assume you will have similar issues with your next baby 

Supplementing in any way will delay your milk coming in so I would avoid it until you know there is a problem. It is perfectly normal for newborns to hang out on the Breast all day and feed for 45 mins straight for example. The recs now are to let baby decide when to come off (usually by falling asleep and stopping sucking) rather than to time it.

Make sure you attend any BFing classes you can and also get IRL help when baby is here from a qualified lactation consultant. And of course post here for support whenever you need to 

[Bella89]

My milk came in the 4th day. The second day was the worst because DS was so hungry and was crying so much he didnt want to latch.
I was giving him formula first 5 days, these are small amounts though. When my milk came I stoped and it was enough.
At my nursing school I was advised:
1. Not to pump after I feed, because it would extract milk needed for the next feed.
2. Pinch my nipples 10 min before feeding, delicately, several times, not squeeze, just pinch that was what saved our BF. I could feel the milk coming:)

But yes, I did give formula before my milk come. And now I regret I didnt do it soon enough. I would have saved my DS 1 night without any sleep.
Hope that helps a little. When are you due?

[Lindsay27]

I'm due Dec 6, still a few months to go!

I think ideally yes, not supplementing makes sense, but his weight reduction was a pretty big concern so the doctor/nurses has us supplementing in the hospital.  We stayed in the hospital for 4 days so the nurses could help me with feeding but nothing was working.  I mean, there's nothing more you can really do...if the milk isn't there, it isn't there, despite him being latched to me 24/7 and pumping in between.   I did have some colostrum on the first day but then it was absolutely nothing until day 7 so we didn't really have a choice at that point but to supplement.  Anyway, in the end everything turned out fine with ff, but it was just hard on me emotionally at the time.

I am hoping that things are easier this time around and the milk comes faster   I'm also hoping to be less stressed about it, because I'm sure my stress levels (which were through the roof) was not exactly helping the milk come the first time around.

[Bella89]

I know exactly what you are talking about. I knew before that the milk will not come right away, and that I can't stress about it. It's just like you say- there is just so much you can do. I knew everything will be ok either way, BF or formula, and hated what hormones were doing to me. I was crying for hours with my DS because I could not feed him. That was horrible.
Supplementing makes the milk come later, but ultimately it's child's health and weight gain what's most important. Nothing wrong about it.
I feel like we're both trying to maybe justify ourselves a little. Me for sure. I really don't like that feeling. When you feel bad about giving formula when there is no other way:/ i dont know where this is coming from.
It's good you're preparing yourself before:)

[Lindsay27]

I absolutely try to justify myself...that's what you do to put away our own guilt. But I truly know I made the best decision for myself and for my family.  There was no way we could continue doing what we were doing and I felt like I was missing out on all those things you should love about having your first baby, because I was such a blubbering mess.  I finally felt at ease after I made my decision and all the stress was lifted and I was able to truly enjoy him

[Bella89]

I truly hope it will go smoothly for you this time around:) Good luck:)

[*Ali*]

Hugs. Ladies. You did your best so no need to feel guilty. Easier said than done of course.

I just want to clarify that my pp was meant to answer the question in the OP "what do you do until your milk comes in?" and to make is clear to anyone reading this as well as the OP that in the normal process which the majority of mothers go through there is no need to do anything other than breastfeed your baby so that will always be plan A (unless of course you make a choice to combination feed). Plan B can be supplementing with formula or expressed milk but that only needs to be actioned if you experience difficulties. Otherwise it will harm the chances of successful BFing rather than help. What you appear to have experienced is exceptional rather than the norm to be expected if that makes sense.

Something else I meant to mention is that pumping colostrum is not normally successful.  As colostrum is so thick and nutritious it is in such tiny quantities it will most likely just get lost in the pump parts and make it appear that you are not pumping anything.  Hand expressing into a syringe or cup is normally recommended instead for the first few days until quantities increase. Babies only need tiny amounts to start with. They have excellent reserves from the umbilical chord.

[~*Nicole*~]

I am sorry you had such a hard time last time around.
Aside from the great advice you've been given already, I was wondering if you could look into donated breast milk or a close friend/relative who would share until your milk came in? I have a friend who donated gallons (she exclusively pumped for a year because of inverted nipples) and I know I'd share it a friend of mine wanted or  needed milk. In another situation, I have a very good friend who supplemented with formula because of low supply and poor weight gain and she ended up breast feeding until her son was 3 years old. I also have a friend who said her boobs were here alone and didn't even try breast feeding at all. All the kids are thriving, so please don't feel guilty for any way that things go!

[Lindsay27]

Oh I do completely get that what happened with DS was not really normal, and that most don't experience that level of difficulty.  All my close friends bf'd their LOs and non of them experienced what I did. But at the time it didn't really help my guilt either, I just felt broken, like there was something wrong with me.  Anyway, I don't want to dwell on the past lol, like I said everything clearly ended up fine in the end . Also wanted to mention that I wasn't pumping colostrum, DS had that right from the breast.  The first day it 2 were actually ok, everything went downhill After that.

I appreciate everyone's advice!  I didn't know this forum until DS was around 9 weeks so at least I will have all you ladies as a resource from day 1 this time around

Hopefully these mama's give off lots of nutritious milk this time around! I can only imagine what they will look like though, because right now my god, they are huge lol

[Bella89]

Ha ha ha I am sure everything will be ok