4 people, 2 rooms: how to maximize sleep for everyone?

[Swannie]

Not sure where to put this post because it is involves multiple issues.

We have a two-month old and a 2.5 year-old.  We have only two bedrooms.  Right now DD1 sleeps in her own room (and has since 8 weeks old). DD2 sleeps in a crib in room with me. My partner temporarily sleeps on couch in living room since DD2 is still up a lot at night and I am the BF mom.  Our long-term plan is to have the girls share a room together once DD2 is about 12 months and for us to have our room back to ourselves. 

The question is what to do in the meantime to maximize the amount of sleep everyone is getting.  Our original short-term plan was to have DD2 stay in our room for the full year but I am not sure that is optimal.  I am a very light sleeper and really cant imagine 10 more months of hearing every little noise. I remember beginning to sleep a lot better once DD1 was out of our room.  I also want DD2 to eventually know how to sleep without us in the room. 

DD1 has been an independent sleeper since 3 months but since age 2 has needed one of us to sit in her room while she falls asleep (which we are prepared to do).  She does wake at night sometimes (fears) and will fall back asleep if one of us goes in briefly.  She woke a lot after DD2 came home but this has calmed down now. She is otherwise a sound sleeper and will usually sleep 11 hours.

Does anyone have any opinions or thoughts on swapping the girls' sleeping space until DD2 is a year old, by having DD1 sleep in a crib/bed in our room and DD2 sleep in her own room?  My thought was to do this when DD2 is 3 or 4 months and (hopefully) an independent sleeper and only waking a couple times a night for BF.  Are there downsides to having a toddler sleep in our room?  Will it be too difficult to break this model in a year? Are there concerns that I am not thinking of?  Does anyone have experience with various models of room sharing?

Thanks!

[michaeljacknnugg]

I think I'd be concerned about the toddler feeling pushed out by the baby if you swap them over. Would you consider putting them in together earlier than planned? I know people whose kids have slept a lot better when they started to share, but it's also a 'start as you mean to go on' thing you could do.

[anna*]

Until recently when we moved house we had only two bedrooms too. We had a similar sleep situation as you, but moved our youngest in to share with her big brother when she was about 3 months old (he was four). I would for sure try them together. We bought our son a set of ear defenders (about £10 on eBay) and if the baby did wake him up he would just put the ear defenders on and go back to sleep. Mostly though I was amazed at how much he just slept through, we could have full on sleep training and he wouldn't even stir. Toddlers are creatures of habit, I'd be concerned bringing the older into your room that it'd be tough to get her out again!

[Mama2boys]

agree what Anna said, and you could possibly stagger bed times as well if that's an option.

[lauradj]

I agree with PP^^.  Friends of ours had both their kids in the same room from 3 months onwards and the first week was rough and it's been smooth sailing ever since.  Now they don't like to sleep in separate rooms, which their mom finds very sweet.

[anna*]

^^ that is us too. Now we live in a house with several bedrooms, but the kids still share because they love it.

[Lolly]

My kids shared a room from when DD was about 9 moths and DS was nearly 3.5. She was just sleeping through when we moved her, it worked rally well and there were very, very few occasions when they woke each other at night. One shouting for us, one with a sickness bug during the night never woke the other.

We have just split them into spirit rooms, DD slept alone for the first time in her life a week ago and she didn't like it! She has adapted really quickly though and loves her new room.

I would put them together, it really seems a more natural choice than a toddler sharing with parents - you need your space too.

Laura