Need some BTDT and sympathy from parents of EWers / long NWers

[Emami]

Oh, Annabel  I feel like I have finally got somewhat of a handle on her sleep, and realised (with some nudging  ) that she is LSN. Things are not perfect, but better. Naps are good these days, nights she maxes out at 11hrs, still usually with a NW but they are not as long as they used to be, and she is STTN a little more often. So, not terrible. BT is usually 7:30, and I am happy with a 6:30 WU.

BUT she seems very affected by anything that could possibly disturb this fragile sleep balance (ie everything)!  Teething, developmental stuff, illness, it all throws her off. Right now she is working on at least 2 teeth (and she is a slooow and torturous teether), and also pulling up and getting stuck. So instead of 11hr nights we are getting 10. This morning WU was 5:15. I know there is not much I can do apart from medicate for teeth, and plenty of practice during the day at getting back down from standing.  I'm fairly confident she will go back to later WUs (at least until the next thing), so my question is how to cope with the early starts in the meantime.  I know many mamas here have had chronic early risers - what did you do?!

I am absolutely unwilling to start my day before 6, so I've been mostly leaving her to it, but if she gets loud or upset I go in and try to interact with her as little as possible in her room.  But I feel bad because she is so happy to see me and all smiles, and I am grumpy! Obviously I try not to let that show to her, I want to be nice Mummy, but honestly I need to psych myself up to put a smile on my face and go and get her. And what do you do with your early risers once you're up at some ungodly hour? My natural inclination would be to not talk to her, grouch around and stick her in front of the tv while I try to function, but that's really not how I want to start the day! So do you try to go to bed earlier so the early start doesn't feel so early, but lose out on evenings? Or just get better at sucking it up and faking the happy face? She is such a sweet baby, and good natured and funny, and really not difficult to be around, so I feel bad for getting frustrated with her and not genuinely being delighted to see her toothy grin!

[*Liz*]

Grin and bear it  . Lie them on my bed and continue to doze while they faff about.

Later bedtimes has never helped really so we don't do that.

My almost 7 year old was up at 5.30am this morning, thomas at 6am, and Megan at 7am. Megan is my one that likes a lie in!!

[Lindsay27]

DS was a chronic EWer. 5:30am nearly every day until he was 2 and then his mornings started finally extending. No amount of routine changes, EBTs, later BT, longer naps, shorter naps...literally nothing changed his WU.  I swear he just has an early internal clock.

Much as the same as pp suggested, I'd bring him into my bed and let him just do his thing and hope that I could at least lay down for a bit. I spent a long time trying to treat it as a NW and eventually resorted myself to the fact that he was never going back to sleep, so that's when I started brining him in with me.  DH was honestly a godsend too on the weekends, we would try to alternate each getting a sleep in on Saturday/Sunday...especially if I had been up with NWs too, DH would often get up with DS at 5:30am and let me sleep a bit longer.  I need to remind myself of these things when I'm moaning about my DH lol.

I always go to bed early, but during these times I'doften be off to bed at 9/9:30pm myself so I could try to get some more sleep earlier in he night.  Honestly there isn't much you can do other than try to keep those early mornings as low key and relaxing as possible.  And have some very strong coffee in hand!

Hugs hun! I know how brutal it is xo

[lolsyb1982]

This was us until DD turned 2. She's still a fairly early riser but 6 is better than 5 or even 4.30!!!!

We're in the last stages of the 1-0 and the EW have returned 

[jessmum46]

Oh hun you are living my life, every sympathy under the sun DS tends to max out at 11h overnight too, almost always with at least one NW.  Only time he sleeps longer is if he's super duper tired from a ridiculously long day/short nap situation but it will be broken.  A true STTN is a rare thing in this house, though when not teething etc he will usually self-settle.  But oh the everything throwing his sleep off!! He is honestly the most horrendous teether (he has all but one canine and 2y molars at 14 months so it's been a tough ride....) and we are stuck on 10.5h nights right now as the last canine tries to come through ever.so.slowly.  We don't get up until 6 but have moved to a mindset of anything after that being fair game.  It's rough and I'd much prefer 6.30/7 but it is what it is.  I go to bed very early too, have been known to be out by 8pm when I'm really struggling.  Anyway lots of (((hugs))), I can't tell you how many times I've been grouchy and miserable in the morning because of it.  I wish I had a fix for us both but lots of hand-holding and support in the mean time xx

[Emami]

My almost 7 year old was up at 5.30am this morning, thomas at 6am, and Megan at 7am. Megan is my one that likes a lie in!!

Chloe likes a lie in too. I can't believe how different they are! Annabel is up so early, and Chloe around 7:30. It's not even unusual for me to wake her at 8:00! I feel like with A I am paying my dues - C has had her moments and rough nights for sure, but generally she has been a great sleeper. Now I'm getting my initiation into the overly caffeinated, sleep deprived club lol.

I can't really bring her into bed with me and let her get on with it as she is crawling and has no sense of self preservation. I've caught her going over the side before, so no dozing for me.

Lindsay, you're a trooper! I'm glad B has improved, and I hope #2 behaves for you

Lauren, don't even mention 4:30!!! I hope you get longer nights again once that nap has gone.

Katherine, hugs to you too. I've seen your threads but not posted as no advice. But now I can commiserate   That's a rough ride with the teeth, but at least they'll all be done with soon. Then maybe(?) he'll realise the benefits of a nice 7am start!

Annabel is an independent sleeper but we had a rough BT tonight, she just couldn't do it. I managed to get her to a 7:15 BT from the early start but she wasn't asleep until 8:15. She was crying and yawning and rubbing her eyes, but just kept standing over and over.  And I laid her down over and over until she basically passed out. She already had a NW at 10:00 where she was standing, but went right back to sleep when I laid her down (hence why I am posting at 10:30 instead of getting my early night).  She was like this when she was trying to crawl too - obsessively getting up on all fours and rocking, and it took her a while to get over it! I know, this too shall pass, but it seems like a long and exhausting road ahead when I think of all the teeth and milestones still to come. 

[Emami]

Well I obviously shouldn't have said things have been getting better, and I definitely shouldn't have mentioned STTN. Last night was horrendous   BT 7:15, sleep at 8:15, NW 10:00 (quick reposition), NW 12:30-3 (lots of cryibg, would not stay lying down), NW 4:00 (quick reposition), WU 6:45. She barely got 8hrs last night, and we got much less. I don't know if I'm after advice or just need to ride it out, I'm at a loss really

[Roseii]

Big hugs, I am not a morning person either and honestly, I think I'd be sticking the baby in a play pen or high chair or somewhere where she's safe, TV on, and kipping on the sofa for an extra half an hour (or whatever she would sit there for) It is in everyone in the family's best interests if mummy doesn't have to get up at the crack of dawn!!

[jessmum46]

Oh hun I'm sorry, those kind of nights are just the pits   I know the feeling of wanting to fix things, but you are not alone.  Whenever B has had nights that bad there has usually been something else going on illness/discomfort-wise - anything other than the development right now?  ((hugs)) xx

[Emami]

Teeth. I can definitely see one top tooth bulging, and possibly two bottom ones starting as well. Her first four were pretty difficult so I'm dreading canines and molars.  Having said that, C was awful with her first 8 'easy' teeth, and then the supposedly most troublesome ones just appeared no bother. So I can hope!

[Cbusmama]

Hi!  Have you thought about feeding her during those early morning wakings?  If my 10 month old Maddie wakes at 5, I will change her and give her a bottle and most of the time she will go right back to sleep and I can slip her back in the crib.  We are no longer doing night feeds, but sometimes I think NOTHING will get her back to sleep at 5 AM except a bottle.  And when she wakes up that early, it really messes up her schedule because then she is OT and the cycle perpetuates.  I find that I can "reset" her wakeups by feeding her and getting her back to sleep during early morning wake ups.  Then she will usually sleep until 7.

[Emami]

Yes for a while that was working, I could feed her and she would go back down fairly quickly.  But now she'll take a full feed and still not go back to sleep.  I know she doesn't need it as there have been plenty of nights she's gone without and still not been ravenous in the morning, so if it's not going to resettle her I'd rather wait until a decent morning hour.  Thanks for the thought though.

Last night was actually pretty decent, at least by recent standards.  Quick NW at 10:30ish, longer one from 4:30-5:30, and then went through to 7:30! The problem for me is I'm still awake from 4:30 by the time I've got back to bed and then DH is up for work at 6, and at that point I would expect Annabel to be up any minute so I stay awake.  I need to learn how all the dads I know manage to go straight back to sleep!

[jessmum46]

I want to know that too.  Also in the 4.30am club this morning, *yawn*

[*Liz*]

Thomas can stay awake for a fair while even after a feed. He is an IS, but equally has been heavily AP'd in the past so I prob have a few more 'tricks'. He will lie with his head on my shoulder, awake, but quiet. Usually he will fall asleep after 45-60 mins.

My issue is still wanting 2 bottles at night  . Its that old 'calories over 24 hrs' issue.

That said, our night wasn't great. Megan woke at 10pm and ended up in bed with DH. Thomas woke for a bottle at 12.15am and 3.15am and took an hour to go back to sleep each time, then woke for the day at 5.45am, followed by Jacob at 6am and Megan shortly after. Snore  .

[Emami]

Thomas can stay awake for a fair while even after a feed. He is an IS, but equally has been heavily AP'd in the past so I prob have a few more 'tricks'. He will lie with his head on my shoulder, awake, but quiet. Usually he will fall asleep after 45-60 mins.

Yeah I have no tricks  She has never been much of one for APOPing.  The feed used to help, and bouncing the mattress used to help, but now I have to do it for so long it's not even worth it and gives me back ache.  I'm just not prepared to bounce her for an hour at a time in the middle of the night, and that's all I've got  These days (nights) I'm pretty much just there for when she gets stuck, and stick a hand on in her when she cries to let her know I'm there, but really just sitting there awake while she shuffles and squirms and stands . I do also think she would eventually go back to sleep as she does still seem tired, but it's no good to me if she faffs around and goes back to sleep at 7am, yk? That's when I want her to wake up!