Author Topic: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!  (Read 2767 times)

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Offline Jouena

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7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« on: August 25, 2015, 18:24:54 pm »
Hello,
This post is a cry for help and practical advice out of frustration after my previous post of similar content.
My son is 7 weeks old. I have been trying to establish EASY for the past 3 weeks, but can't.
Main reason is that he does not nap well. He has good appetite, eats well, but is addicted to breast for falling asleep :( 
At his age he should have 3 good 1,5-2 hour naps and a catnap a day (or even more!). He has 3 naps a day of various lengths. Never a catnap.
A week ago he started sleeping for only 30 min on his first morning nap. My attempts at resettling him back to sleep fail almost always.
His second nap can be 2 hour long or another 30 mins - God only knows how long!  Also, the time of nap #2 is screwed 'cuz nap #1 went all wrong.
His afternoon nap is the only longer nap he takes, usually 2 hours or more, if I don't wake him.
As for catnaps, it takes as long to wind him down, to make him fall asleep, as the length of the nap, which becomes senseless (not that I stop trying!)
He is usually in bed by 8pm and sleeps well at night, waking up 2-3 times for a feed.
Unfortunately, I can't even post his day routine in EASY format as he does not have one  :'( I want him to have a routine and I really want to break the habit of feeding to sleep as I often have to feed him TWICE in a 3 hour interval.
Appreciate any insights! Thank you!   
 
 
Jouena

Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2015, 21:58:19 pm »
Oh hon, I'm sorry you're having a rough go!  Please try to remember that the first three months are the most difficult and unpredictable.  Baby isn't sure what's going on, you're not sure what's going on and everyone is tired  :o  Try not to worry too about the precise length of naps etc. and focus more on maintaining the order of EASY.  If you can pop baby into a carrier and take a walk for one nap, that can be a sanity saver and the rhythm will often help LO's fall asleep and stay that way!  This would also help break the breast to sleep association.  He would still be right up against you, but not on the breast.  It's a win/win! 


Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2015, 18:11:40 pm »
Hello Laura, thnx for your insight!
It's been 1,5 weeks since he stopped napping properly and it has gradually escalated to no napping at all. Yesterday he took two 30-40 min naps and one 1,5 h nap for the whole day! this last one was in a carrier and it took him an hour to fall asleep. And we hardly made him fall asleep by 9 pm! It's getting worse day by day... 
He is extremely OT by now and even my props  - breast and swing - don't really work anymore. Yesterday I took him for a walk in the pram and he fell asleep a whole hour after we started! Slept for only 20 min...
I don't care for the routine, for props or anything else, really, I just want my baby to sleep!!!
Should I  consult a doc or is it common? I'm desperate...
Jouena

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2015, 12:32:36 pm »
Hugs, you are right in the thick of the early months unsettledness right now. I know it's so exhausting but what you're describing sounds pretty normal to me :-* keep a little eye on awake time if you can, try to aim to have lo asleep by around 1h-1h15 or so after waking.  And just try to hang in there, it will get easier. How are nights? Xx

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2015, 23:06:34 pm »
Katherine,
somehow, the fact that my issue is common does not make me feel better  :P
Night are OK. 1-2 waking a night. Which can get worse if our No Nap situation continues...
   Jude is 9 weeks old and he does not nap. 3 naps of 30 min is all I get. All in the swing. After 40 min to 1,5 h of winding down, holding, shush patting and A LOT of crying and screaming (I am trying to make him sleep in the crib, but give up every time).
  He can't easily fall asleep in the car nor in the stroller.  When he does, after 40 min of driving, it's only for 20-30 min.
I know 30 min nap is a sign of OT. Since today I decided to strictly keep his A time at 1h - 1h 10 min. And to cut winding down to 30 min max. If he does not sleep within the 30 min - swing it is. This should help "cure" OT and show him what I want from him in a week or two.
 Now my major concern is to make him sleep. The swing and other AP are secondary.
What would you recommend?
Jouena

Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2015, 04:28:01 am »
You are most definitely not alone, and 1-2 wakings a night is great!  I agree with PP, this all sounds very normal but still very frustrating.  What do you do with LO during his A time?  I wonder if he might be OS?


Offline jessmum46

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #6 on: September 09, 2015, 06:35:18 am »
Hun I would embrace the AP for now, may not be what Tracy said but I don't really think you can 'AP' as such in the first 3 months particularly and there is totally no point in being miserable shh patting and getting you all exhausted.  These early days don't last long (though granted it feels like forever right now) and both mine have found it much easier to learn to settle in the crib around the 12 week mark.  Have you heard of the concept of the 4th trimester?  Also have you tried a sling/wrap?  My second loved it, he would just nestle in and doze off and I still had my hands free to do other things. 

Just as another thought, some babies can struggle to settle due to discomfort from things like gas or reflux, do you see any signs of those?

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2015, 17:54:27 pm »
   Laura,
I am home alone with Jude all day, until evening when hubby returns from work. No TV, no music = no loud sound. I don't even turn radio on these 3 weeks not to stimulate him (I used to listen to classic jazz radio during the day). His A time starts with a diaper change in a day light -lit bathroom (there is a window). Then he eats - our nursing chair is in the dining room. Then he either lays on his back on the sofa in the living room (he can entertain himself for about 10 min), then we can do some stretching or simply cooing and making faces to each other. If nap is too short, we do some tummy time on his play mat. He sits in a bouncer (that is OFF) while I prepare myself breakfast. I also carry him around the house once a day at least for change of scenery. In the afternoon I walk with him in the carrier in the backyard and he nap for 30 mins after about an hour of walking.  So, not much going on, actually. But please make a suggestion if you see space for improvement!
   
   Katherine,
You know, i think you have already suggested that I relax about my "idealistic expectations" and just enjoy the moment :) I know it's the best advice for now, I really do! Guess, my brain has not adapted the 'baby mode" yet and pursues the pre-baby "intellectual" approach to the situation :(
The concept of the 4th trimester - does it say that babies are still kinda inside mommy's tummy for the first 3 months after birth? If so, then trying to structure and train LO during this time should be a punishable crime :)
Jude does not tolerate carriers for long stretches of time. But he's getting better at it! So, I am happy to keep trying :)
He has occasional reflux, but nothing major. We elevated mattress in his crib and I keep him upright for 10-15 min after feeding. We do not notice gas issues.
Overall, he is a happy little creature. Cries rarely, only screams before naps :) 

Ladies, as always, thank you for your time and insight! 
Jouena

Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2015, 21:46:47 pm »
I agree with Katherine that you really do have to manage your expectations and I think almost all new moms want to know the formula for getting it right.  The fact is, there is no formula.  DS1 was/is an angel baby, and honestly, so is DS2 EXCEPT he has reflux and that made for some scary, very unpredictable times.  There were moments when I felt I was learning the whole process over again.  Just know that if you can keep in mind how quickly the time passes, it makes it more manageable (DS1 is now 2!!!).
On a side note, I would strongly encourage you to keep playing your music.  You want to naturalize your baby to the noises of your home, and music is a wonderful thing to expose your child to.  My children love music and we try to play it as often as we can.  DH and I used to tip toe around the house when DS1 was sleeping, which was insane.  Now with DS2, we don't throw a rave but we keep living our day because we have no choice. 
Do whatever you need to, to find some peace of mind.  Maybe look into a Mom and Baby yoga class, find out if there is a group of Moms who all go for walks together.  That kind of stuff.  If you keep yourself locked up in your house all day, you'll start to feel a little loopy  :o :P


Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2015, 17:25:26 pm »
Ladies,
  My progress so far:
- LO does not have issues, I DO! therefore, he should not suffer cuz of it :) 
- AP embraced
- signed up for Mummy Meet-ups
- music is back (Sunshine Reggae time!)
- working on strictly observing A time at 1h15min max.
- working on lowering expectations
   Meanwhile, Jude is sleeping in the swing :)
Jouena

Offline jessmum46

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2015, 20:52:16 pm »
Sounds good :D

Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2015, 21:57:41 pm »
Yay!!!!  That all sounds great!  :D


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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2015, 02:06:15 am »
Hello again!
I'm back in desperation.
Jude stays awake for 3-4 hours in a row before bedtime. That is from 5-6pm to 9pm! Nothing can make him catnap in between! Of course, putting him down to sleep by 9 take a whole hour or longer, with crying, carrying and ends with feeding.
Could you please look at our routine for the last couple days?
Here is his day on Sunday (same scenario since Thursday):
WU - 7am
E - 7.30
A - 7 - 9 (did not leave darkened bedroom. Stated WD at 8.35, took 25min to sleep)
S  - 9 - 11
E - 11.20
A - 11am - 1.35pm
S - 1.35 - 2.45
E - 3pm
A - 2.45 - 4
S - 4 - 6.15
E - 6.30
A - 6.15 - 9.15 !!! !!! !!!
WD - since 7.35
E - 9pm
S - 9.15 - 4.15 am

But today was worse! He did not sleep for 4 hours during day time! I really hope you do not mind taking a look:
WU - 7.30
E - 7.45
A - 7.30 - 9.30 (in dark bedroom, on our bed)
S - 9.30 - 11.30
E - 11.35
E - 1.45
A - 11.30 - 3.15 !!! !!! !!! 
S - 3.15 - 4pm (could not resettle for longer sleep)
E - 4.08
E - 5.35
A - 4 - 5.55 !!! !!! !!! He was exhausted but still could not fall asleep no matter what I did ...
S - 5.55 -it's 7 now and he is still sleeping. Don't want to think how this night will go...

I hope you can suggest a word of wisdom about this!
Thank you!





 
Jouena

Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2015, 05:08:50 am »
Hon, I'm just about to head to bed but I wanted you to know I have seen this and I will get back to you tomorrow.  Big hugs till then!


Offline lauradj

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2015, 22:00:48 pm »
Ok, just taking a look at your EASY, your DS is up for too long between naps.  I'm guessing he's about 9 weeks now?  The maximum he should be awake is 1.20min.  I can see it's taking him awhile to fall asleep and that is actually really normal.  Tracy writes that it takes most babies 20 minutes to fall asleep and that's why she cautions us to really learn to differentiate between their mantra cry and their 'I Need You!' cry.  I had to set a timer for myself to ensure I didn't go in before 20 minutes.  I could hear DS1 was in no distress but just hearing him constantly making noise made me feel like I needed to rush in and 'make' him go to sleep.  Not helpful.
I'm not a big fan of A time in a darkened room, although I believe Tracy does recommend it occasionally. I feel like that would really confuse baby as to what is supposed to be happening i.e.. I am I supposed to be napping or playing?  What is your wind down routine with Jude?


Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old. 30 min naps, no catnaps - please help!
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2015, 17:52:41 pm »
That is EXACTLY the problem - he is up TOO long between naps. Not because I keep him up. Because he does not / cannot fall asleep!
   He is turning 3 months on Saturday, and his A time should be 1h30min max. But at days like these (it's lasting for a week now! and happened before as well) no matter what I do - hold, rock, walk, sing, sling, swing - nothing makes him sleep :(
   His mantra cry turns into my karma every single time. In 3 months, we have yet to see him fall asleep with the mantra cry. No way. After 10-15 min he works himself up to outloud crying and I have to step in.
   The A time in the darkened room is only the very first A time in a day, simply cuz I'm not yet ready to get up, so we play on our bed.
   For WD I take him to the room, talking quietly, we say good night to the sun and close the shades, I hold him walking and humming a lullaby (about 5 min), put him in his swing and turn it on. Usually he falls asleep in the next 15 min of swinging.
   Of course, sometimes I have to shush and hold him longer cuz he is crying. Or he may start crying when I put him in swing. Or he does not fall asleep and then 20 min of holding follows. You know, days don't go the same way :) 
Jouena