Author Topic: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!  (Read 5763 times)

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Offline Jouena

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7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« on: August 25, 2015, 18:33:20 pm »
Hello,
This post is a cry for help and practical advice out of frustration after my previous post of similar content.
My son is 7 weeks old. I have been trying to establish EASY for the past 3 weeks, but can't.
Main reason is that he does not nap well. Also, he is addicted to breast for falling asleep :( 
At his age he should have 3 good 1,5-2 hour naps and a catnap a day (or even more!). He has 3 naps a day of various lengths. Never a catnap.
A week ago he started sleeping for only 30 min on his first morning nap. My attempts at resettling him back to sleep fail almost always.
His second nap can be 2 hour long or another 30 mins - God only knows how long!  Also, the time of nap #2 is screwed 'cuz nap #1 went all wrong.
His afternoon nap is the only longer nap he takes, usually 2 hours or more, if I don't wake him.
As for catnaps, it takes as long to wind him down, to make him fall asleep, as the length of the nap, which becomes senseless (not that I stop trying!)
He is usually in bed by 8pm and sleeps well at night, waking up 2-3 times for a feed.
Unfortunately, I can't even post his day routine in EASY format as he does not have one  :'( I want him to have a routine and I really want to break the habit of feeding to sleep as I often have to feed him TWICE in a 3 hour interval.
I know I should start with establishing a routine before tackling breast dependency. But WHERE DO I BEGIN???
Appreciate any insights! Thank you!   
 
 
Jouena

Offline rachaelcole

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2015, 19:47:53 pm »
I have no advice to give I'm afraid, just hugs, as in in the EXACT same boat! Fingers crossed for some pearls of wisdom!

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2015, 20:18:19 pm »
HUGS Rachael! And hoping :)
Jouena

Offline Florena49

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2015, 21:24:44 pm »
Hi ladies, i have a 5 week old and what can i say its early days, so please dont stress.
What are thr A times ur aiming for?
For example Maks' routine on a good day (doesnt happen every day) looks like this

7.20wu eat
8.25nap-10.25
10.25eat
11.15nap-12.45
12.45ea
13.55nap-4.10
4.10eat
5.40nap-6.15
8.20BT

All his naps are in the ergo carrier pretty much, as i also have a 22 month old.
All i do is make sure he naps and eats every 3 hours. If that means i have to walk around so he sleeps then i do it. He is still so little
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2015, 21:55:24 pm »
Hello Viktoria,
Thank you for your input! I am totally ready to carry Jude to give him the nap he needs! Though that does not always work either as he cries for breast :( He sleeps in his swing like magic though! But I hate how crooked his spine is in there so I try to avoid long naps in there. 
Jude's A time is actually right by the Book. His first yawn is usually at exactly 1h 20 mins after wake up :) That's when - following the Book - I take him to bedroom and have our small  winding down ritual: Close blinds, swaddle and hold him. Which never ends up in him sleeping in his crib after 20 mins :) First he starts fussing which escalates to crying and hysterics if I do not provide the breast. I've tried putting him down drowsy and still calm, but he gradually fusses himself into crying. Tried to hold him in my arms while he cries hoping he'd calm down. No consistent positive results.
Surprisingly, if not put to bed, he can go on for 2 hours, being lovely and alert. Which inevitably ends with OT or OS and difficulty to fall asleep. Vicious circle, right?

Jouena

Offline Florena49

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2015, 00:12:39 am »
Hi,

I would say its absolutely normal for babies to cry before sleep, at this age he is relying on u to put him to sleep, he doesnt have that skilll yet.
Are u certain that he actually needs the breast? Considering he falls asleep no problem in his swing?
Maks cries before falling asleep, my eldest one cried before sleep for a while.
Please dont stress and spend all your time worrying about sleep, it will come and when it does it will be for a short period time and then things will change again.  This is just how babies ate, fhey grow up, there are developmental milestones, teeth, routine changes, transitions from 2-1naps etc its neverending.

Do you think you are getting him to bed a bit late? Thena times for a 2 minth old are 1.20A, which is from eyes open to eyes closed. If you are waitibg for 1.20 and then trying to get your LO to sleep fpr another 20 mins he is Likely to be OT.
Try cutting back the A times and see if it easier to settle him.
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2015, 21:43:42 pm »
Hi Viktoria,
Ah, you might be right about Jude's A time being too long. I was actually following his cue and looking for his "sleepy window" to put him to bed 'cuz he might be Under-tired if I do it too early (at least that's what the Book says!) But now that you mention it, I will cut his A time a bit and see if it helps. Worth a try :) 
Yes, crying is normal for babies, of course! We signed up for that when decided to have kids ;)  but not when being really drowsy he spends 20 mins in crib gradually escalating from squirms to real crying, then another 20 mins of crying to various degree -often to hysterics - in my arms. At this point nothing calms him down but a prop - breast or a swing :( And really, anyone would fall asleep in a swing! It's hypnosis of sorts :)
Oh, did I mention that pacifier actually makes him more angry/upset?
I realise it's no good fixating on this sleep issue,  it will only make our lives miserable. However, when there is no sleep, there is no routine. Without a somewhat predictable routine it's hard to have a normal day and it's impossible to understand what my baby wants when he cries and read his cues ...   
Jouena

Offline Florena49

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2015, 23:49:07 pm »
Cues are great, it never worked with my first one, and i have ti watch the clock with Maks now.
Also it takes some time for babies to get used to being settled with shush pat. I remember being able to get Oskar off to sleep with shush pat, but he just didnt stay asleep. It toom a good coue
Of week and he was closer to 3 months when a decent routine emerged for us.
I know what u mean about tje dummy, Maks hets angry and more uspet too, so if he doesnt want it,i dont give it to him.

Babies at this age easily get OT and it sounds like Jude just wants to go to sleep but he cant switch off, so i would give a shorted A time a go definitely, hopefully it will be a bit easier to settle him.
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #8 on: August 27, 2015, 00:47:48 am »
You are absolutely right - he IS OT and wants to sleep but can't!
Today is especially hard...
Nap #2 : swaddled and calm in his crib, in 20 mins he gradually fussed himself to crying. I picked him up and he went hysterical for 5 mins and fell asleep in my arms for 10 mins. Immediately after woke up wide eyed and went back to screaming. So, we spent 1h 20 min to get him to sleep just to end up in swing for 40 min nap. Mind here, it took him 20 min to fall asleep in swing! That's how OT he was. He was not crying, though.   
Afternoon nap was absolutely the same. Only I gave up sooner, after 40 mins of waiting for him to self sooth, then fussing and screaming, I gave him the breast. He fell asleep For only 15 min!!! And back to where we started.
BTW, A time between nap #2 and afternoon nap was only 35 mins, as he was very sleepy during the feed. Which did not help ease falling asleep just as yet. It'll take some time for him to relax, apparently.
Now he s asleep in sling - first time I tried it, inspired by you :) Will wake him up for a feed and put right back to sleep, I think.
Thank you for your insight and advice!
Jouena

Offline Florena49

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #9 on: August 27, 2015, 08:11:59 am »
I know we just want these babies to sleep, but please dont spend  too long trying to settle, if he doesnt settle in 20 minutes and gets hysterical, the chances are he wont settle, at that point, sling or swing. At this age i did and still do breast.
Has he ever fallen asleep himself? If not, you might have to take a step back. When you so your pre nap wind down and pop him in the cot, u can start patting his back or his leg ( oskar liked that better, his bum/thigh area) and not wait until he starts shouting, as in 20 minutes of him lying in the cot he is clearly OT and then it will be a struggle for him and for you.

So i would say after 1.10A take him up, do your routine, you can start shush/patting whilst ur still holding him to get him a little drowsy, then in the cot and continue shush/pat until he nods off and for the first 20/25 mins if he needs it. It will take a few days maybe even a week for him to get it. Please dont worry if it doesnt work for every nap, i found having a firdt good nap in the sling is better for us, as its breakfast time here and i can have food and feed Oskar, whilst Maks is asleep in his ergocarrier.
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2015, 18:21:56 pm »
Hello Viktoria (gosh, I love your name!)
Last week was rough...
 Yes, he has fallen asleep himself before. Well, with my help, like shush/pat or walking and rocking for a a bit. Always in his crib. His naps were not a huge deal until a week ago! And it's getting worse. Now neither the breast nor swing is 100% guaranteed to make him sleep... 
   Now he starts screaming when I swaddle him, as if he already knows the nap is coming. No ritual of holding, shush/pat, lullaby calms the screaming... Also, he does not enjoy the sling! Can spend some 10-15 min before crying.
   This is all very frustrating...
Weekend evenings were the worst. We spent 1,5 - 2 hours trying to help him sleep. And to calm the screaming :( Eventually, he passed out cuz of exhaustion rather than our parenting skills, unfortunately...   
   Today I spent 45 min to make him sleep: 20 min of wind down with swaddling, holding and patting. Did not calm the crying. Another 15 min of breast sucking calmed him to almost sleep. Then some 15 min of patting already in the crib until deep sleep. 
   He jolted exactly 30 min after, but I was there waiting and patted him back to sleep.
Hope, this strategy will work for a couple days and help solve our issue!

 
Jouena

Offline Florena49

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2015, 19:02:59 pm »
Hi

Thank you...

Maks has fallen asleep himself a couple of times, on his changing mat for example, so no help from me:).
I must say Maks has to be absolutely exhausted to  asleep on the breast, he just doesnt, not all babies do especially if you stick to eating after nap from the start.
I know its no consolation, but at this age there isnt a 100% guarantee that babies will sleep. Will he sleep in his pram when u go for a walk? I would hate to think that you are sitting at home all day trying to het Jude to sleep and getting frustrated about routines that probably most babies at this age are not so good sticking to.

My Maks is a very happy baby during the day, he sleeps ( in ergo only at the moment) eats and smiles. But come around 5pm he becomes unsettled, it is common for babies to be unsettled in the evenings, i think they cAll it witching hour. So Maks woke at 5.20pm and just settled for bed next to me on the bed (its 7.50 now). I didnt have to shush or pat, he just fell asleep.but he couldnt settle before, i walked around with him, shushed, patted etc, but he was just unsettled and the more i tried to get him off to sleep the more upset he was.
 Jude is 8 weeks now, right? What A time are u aiming for now? Was there a point where he easily settled? What A time was that for him?
Do u think he is getting frustrated because you ate starting the wind down too early? For example Maks will cry more if i put him in the Ergo too early...its almost like he is telling me that he just isn't ready to go to sleep.
We dont swaddle Maks, as it has been so hot, we did swaddle Oskar when he was little, and he cried everytime i swaddled him, in the end by about 4 months we got rid of the swaddle, as he got so wound up, it actually didnt help his sleep at all, just frustrated him before sleep.
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2015, 20:38:38 pm »
Hello!
Yes, he is 8 weeks now :)
You see, we live in Las Vegas and it is REALLY hot. So, there virtually is no going out for a walk. (I miss it terrible! ) Though He does sleep in the pram & car seat  when we go out.  I'm actually ready to drive around for 1.5 hours just to give him some sleep : ) 

A time is a mystery for me. When I followed Jude's lead, he could spend 1h 45 m on the go easily. Putting him down was never easy, but we managed somehow. He was younger then :) but eventually it caused OT. It evolved gradually,  from one short nap to current situation, in 2 weeks.
Now I'm trying 1 h or 1.10. He screams both ways. And when he finally falls asleep - after another 40 min to 1 hour -he sleeps for 30 min.
Here's idea- try putting him down immediately after WU and feed. He'll be asleep in exactly the right time: )
Sorry to be bugging you with this  for so long, but it's a great relief to be able to share this stuff.
Thnx! 
Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2015, 11:31:06 am »
How are you doing? Are things any better?
Viktoria

Mum to Oskar 25/10/2013 and Maksim 19/07/2015

Offline Jouena

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Re: 7 week old trouble getting on EASY - need help!
« Reply #14 on: September 28, 2015, 17:44:18 pm »
Hello!
:) it took me 2 weeks to reply :)
His naps did not really improve. But my attitude changed and now both of us are much happier :)
I embraced AP and he takes all his naps in the swing. It gave me my sanity back and saves LO from crying a lot before sleep. His naps are still 45 min but I go in before he wakes and in most cases manage to resettle him for another 20-40 min (or even an hour!) by turning the swing back on for a while.
We also started going for a walk in the afternoon! But it takes 1 hour of walking for him to fall asleep for 20 min :(  I hope he'll learn to sleep longer outside with a bit more practice :) 
I'm still experimenting with A time. Seems like 1h30min is best for him as he falls asleep easiest. We start the WD at 1h15min (go to bedroom, close shades, walk a bit, hum lullaby and put him in swing), it takes about 15 min of swinging to fall asleep.
    New challenge since last Thursday. He would not sleep at all from 4/6pm - depending on when he wakes up from his afternoon nap - to 9pm!!! Nothing can put him to sleep for a catnap in between! Trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix this.
How are you and your kiddos?
Jouena