Just totting up how much milk/dairy there is in a day it looks like around 12 oz to me, would you agree?
12oz is certainly lower than the guidance amount but you say she is a small baby and has never been that interested in milk. My DS was the same, it was a constant worry for me, but he continued to gain weight and followed his centile line on the growth chart (moving one line up or down is normal between weighing, moving 2 lines or more would raise a question).
In then end I accepted he was not a big milk drinker and was taking enough milk, solids, calories, nutrients, to keep him growing and healthy.
Have you spoken with your health professional about the milk intake? I see you've said she's gained weight ok so I imagine your doctor is not highly concerned about the milk?
Based on what you've said, reducing solids is not likely to increase milk intake (mine was like this) so although that is usually one way to increase milk intake if it's not going to work for your LO then no point going down that route.
A few things you could think about trying:
- increase dairy solids so that the overall daily milk/dairy intake is increased (eg fingers of cheese she can hold in a fist grasp or grated cheese if she has developed a pincer grasp)
- use formula in solids so that the dairy solids you offer also contains the added vits & minerals that are in formula and absent from cows milk/yoghurt. eg home made formula milk pudding instead of shop bought cows yoghurt
- switch from baby rice to a different fortified baby cereal. Baby rice contains almost nothing in the way of nutrients but will fill her little tummy up meaning she is less hungry for other more nutrient-rich foods/milk. Compare the list of vits and mins on another sugar-free baby cereal pack with the baby rice. Fortified cereals can offer some of what is added to the formula which she's missing by not taking so much formula. Continue to make cereal with formula.
- change the third solids meal of the day to a more nutrient-rich meal by giving protein/veg without any cereal/rice added, perhaps some cheese and vegetables
Now, you asked if you should give more solids to make up for the low milk intake. In a contradiction of what I've said above, I want to say from my personal experience, when I tried to increase DS's dairy/formula intake by offering more dairy solids (milk pudding made with formula etc) the result was he took even less formula from a bottle. I tried for several days and the bottle feeding went even worse than previously. When I went the opposite way and totally cut back on dairy solids (I didn't stop solids meals just didn't offer any dairy, or very very little dairy) he increased his bottle milk intake. I was quite amazed to see that however the diary was offered he had a 'limit' as though he knew how much he needed and would take that in solids or bottled formula but couldn't/wouldn't take beyond this amount. A kind of self regulation of his dairy needs. As a result I felt more confident that his food intake overall must be meeting his needs. At that point I decided I preferred him to have the formula (in a bottle at his routine times) rather than increased dairy solids simply because his formula is a more complete for of milk for a baby with all those vits and mins added. I didn't avoid all dairy solids, he had some cheese, some butter, and so on but his solids meals were more 'real' as a result of not trying to make everything into a dairy meal.
I realise this may be somewhat confusing but you could do as I did and try one way for a week then try the other and see which turns out best for your LO... and which one helps you feel more confident that she's ok to reduce the stress this is causing you.
WRT trying to get the milk in during sleep and coaxing with sippy cup or for prolonged times at routine milk times, I wouldn't do those. I would just offer formula in a bottle at the routine times and leave it at that.
(PS for things like milk pudding there is no need to sweeten. Cook cornflour into the formula to make it into a thick pudding and serve just like that or if you like mix with a little spice such as cinnamon, or a savoury pudding with herbs and cheese)
hope this helps some