34 month old sleep help

[labrodyk]

If he doesn't have a nap and is in bed asleep by 6.30, how do you continue with no nap if they then wake at 5? That's what he did yesterday.

We had 1hr of the iPad in bed for some down time. Pushed through until 6.30 and and he was asleep in 5-10mins. Cried out at around 2am but resettled quickly but then lay awake from 5.00am-7.00am when his gro sun came out....

Do I continue with some quiet iPad time at 2-3 today or try and get him to sleep?
SEBT isn't going to work he'll just be up earlier

[jessmum46]

I'd do a nap on those kind of days but minimal, even just a catnap to get to bedtime.  What did you go for?

[labrodyk]

I stuck to the longer A without a nap...he just wanted the iPad (we don't watch any tv morning or afternoon so I don't mind that aspect but I don't want to overstimulate him).

So he did;

WU: 5.00
OOB: 7.00
QT: 1.45 - 2.45
BT: 6.30, asleep 6.35

Then woke crying and calling out mummy at 5.15 for a few minutes and fell back to sleep by 5.45.

WU: 6.30
OOB: 7.00
QT: 1.30-2.30 (iPad - he took himself to bed after doing a wee and called out for the iPad).

Should I continue with this or not? The trouble I have is getting him to have that short catnap... His mood is probably **better** with no nap than it is after a short spell of even 15-20mins!

My concern is how hyperactive and defiant he is without the nap but I'm really hoping it settles along with the early mornings. I'm always second guessing myself and can't just stick to one thing because I don't want to be doing the wrong thing by him. Just can't seem to get it right.

[jessmum46]

Honestly whilst nap dropping I don't think there is a 'right' as such.  If it seems to be going ok ploughing forwards with no nap then keep going, mood will be a bit off while he adjusts but hopefully it will come right sooner rather than later.  You can throw in a nap now and again if necessary, we had times where she hadn't napped for a month then had a disturbed night or was a bit under the weather so needed a quick nap to keep going.  Even now having not napped regularly for the best part of 18 months DD will need a little power doze if she's poorly or crazy tired for some reason but it no longer seems to have the silly effects on bedtime it did during the 1-0 x

[labrodyk]

Thank you so much for helping! Poor little possum is quite tired but I think i'm just going to have to keep going down this path. I'm 35 weeks pregnant now and I have no fight in me and my head is so sore from going around with this for over 6 months. I'll try the power nap if things turn sour just to catch him up but i'm going to have to lower my expectations of him during this time and keep my own feelings/emotions in check.

How long NW/ER can I expect to last and are there any red flags I should look out for? He's not eating his meals very well at all from being so tired - should this get better?

[Johnnyha65]

I'm right here with you, also 35 weeks pregnant today!! I made the mistake of letting DS fall asleep in the car on Sunday for an hour and it backfired majorly!! He didn't go to sleep till 8:15pm and was up at 1am then 5:45 for the day!! Shattered yesterday and was at pre-school but ploughed on through was asleep for 6:20, woke at 4:50 (OT) and I lay with him to get him somemore sleep and snuck out after 1/2hr once he was zonked - only wish I could have gone back to sleep too! He woke at 6:35, but is at pre-school today and swimming this afto so will be tired again I'm sure!

I know it's tough putting up with the difficult behaviour, but hoping a few weeks in and they'll adjust,
before the little ones arrive of course  then the newborn fuzz x

[labrodyk]

Oh Hayley! Thanks for your reply.

I'm lying here now after a crying out night waking at 4.10am for 10mins with me giving verbal reassurance from his door! Of course I can't get back to sleep and he's just laying there awake. Sigh, I feel like I'm just going around in circles but it's nice to know we're not alone.

Newborn fuzz. Oh my gosh don't remind me. Beginning to wish her out at a starting age of 5

[labrodyk]

So that night waking was over an hour long 4.10-5.30 and then woke at 6.15. Hmmm, this is going to be a long day and transition - am I going about this the right way?

[Johnnyha65]

I'm afraid I really don't have the answer, wish I did, just doing what I think is right and trying to be consistent. Bad one here too, went to sleep at 6:30pm after a few get ups wanting me, then up at midnight wanting a cuddle and then 2:30-3:20 we were up and down, it's now 3:50 he's gone quiet and I am wide awake😩 really hoping this is just the adjustment to pre-school.

[jessmum46]

As I said before I don't think there is a 'right' way and some OT is inevitable.  Give him a nap today if he's struggling, just keep it short so it doesn't rob the night.  Even an early 20 minute catnap could help x

[labrodyk]

Thanks Katherine! My mother in-law had him yesterday and she couldn't get him to nap at all so we had him back home asleep at 6.40.

He was restless from 9.30pm and then woke just after 11pm and came and asked for a drink. He settled quickly and was back asleep by 11.30ish but the mornings are getting earlier. He's laying awake from 5.50 today.

Does this mean he's just totally overtired?

[labrodyk]

So after waking at 5.50 or earlier he's come into my room at 6.40 wanting a kiss/cuddle and to be tucked back into bed - all with a million tears and like the world is ending. we have a long day today and I'd hoped that nights would be lengthening not getting shorter!

[jessmum46]

I think OT is pretty likely right now, will he AP back to sleep in the mornings if you go and lie with him?  Nights will get longer but it often takes some time and you may need to try for a nap if at all possible today, or super EBT if you can't get one.  Keep going, it will be over eventually!

[labrodyk]

thank you so much for your support! It wasn't such a great day and I'm in tears actually... i'm 35 weeks pregnant and hubby was just made redundant 

We didn't give the nap today and had to dutifully take him to hubby's leaving party. He had an absolute massive meltdown just after 6.00 at the restaurant so I bundled him up and took him home (screaming because daddy wasn't coming with us). Wouldn't get in the car seat, banshee screaming to which I nearly had a horrific car accident on the way home.

I'm SO scared of doing EBT because he wakes so early already - are we talking 5.30? 6.00? Earlier?. As for a nap, I just can't get that catnap in; it's impossible to wake him even after 20mins.
As for lying with him when he wakes he just starts talking to me and is wide awake. I could try that tomorrow though I guess. He's quiet and not crying so it's infuriating.

Really emotional tonight, terribly sorry for constantly rambling and complaining.

[jessmum46]

Oh hun I'm sorry ugh 1-0 plus pregnancy plus men is not a good combination.....been there so you have my sympathy!

Will he not doze off in the car for a catnap? 

I'd go as early as you dare for EBT.  I know it's scary but even mums whose LOs have never really tacked on that well have found LO can tack on during the 1-0.  I mean, if you went for 5pm and he slept 10.5h, that would be 3.30am.  It's unlikely he'd be up for the day at that time yk?  Even if he had a long NW he's probably go back off.  Try it hun, if he's so tired and emotional right now it can't get much worse xx