Is it crazy to start cosleeping at age 3?

[SEA0680]

My 3 year old has ALWAYS been a problem sleeper- just doesn't sleep much. For most of his life he slept under the lower end of the bell curve for sleep for his age group. He generally wakes up at 6am, but goes through phases of waking up as early as 4:45am (wanting to play, but also acting tired), and goes to sleep 9-9:30pm, and sometimes wakes up at night. We have tried everything- black out curtains, white noise, etc. He sleeps by himself, but definitely wants us to be there while he falls asleep, but we try to avoid it. The few times I have slept with him in his bed he has slept in much later. I have been thinking about the fact that all animals, and for most of our history, people, sleep with their young. Perhaps if I slept in his room he would sleep longer? 3 years of sleep deprivation (for us and him) is making me consider starting to co-sleep (me sleeping in his room on a trundle bed, not him coming into our bed) at age 3- is that crazy?

Thanks so much for your advice!

[Roseii]

Personally I would work on keeping him in his room, quietly, whether he's awake or not. Have you got a gro clock? I would be telling him that wake up time is 6am (or whatever- you can always move it later) and he's not to disturb you until the sun is up on his clock. Re co sleeping to get to sleep, I would want to wean that but that's because it does my head in being trapped in my girls' room If you're happy to do it and you can solve the EWs then I don't think it's a massive deal.
Just my tuppence

[C&B&E]

I have lots of friends who co-sleep with their children and they enjoy it  .  So, if you feel it would be good for your child and for your family then why not try it.  In retrospect, I wish we had done more co-sleeping.   

However, I would also want to rule out OT or other factors (like discomfort) which may be causing him to sleep poorly.  I have got a habitual early riser, and the two things that have helped us are occasionally putting him to bed VERY early to get him a long night, which in turn improves his sleep as he is less OT.  The other thing is wake-to-sleep if he has got into a pattern of waking at the same time every night.  Does he exhibit any signs of reflux or discomfort at night time? 

[SEA0680]

Thanks for your advice!

Yes, he is definitely OT- but how to fix? Try to get to sleep earlier, but no luck. Don't ever wake him up in the morning or from naps.

They don't have GroClock in US- have to order from UK and shipping is very expensive. Bought a similar product (sleep owl), but don't like it as much. Wish I could buy the GroClock, although I suspect he would ignore it.

[C&B&E]

Yes, he is definitely OT- but how to fix? Try to get to sleep earlier, but no luck. Don't ever wake him up in the morning or from naps.

Children often get a 'second wind' when they miss their ideal sleep window, so if you don't give them an early *enough* bedtime, then they will often stay awake for hours longer!  If he's waking at 6am, then I would try getting him into bed at 6pm.  When my ds was three, I would occasionally put him to bed at 5pm and he would sleep though til 7am (even though he usually woke at 5.30am with a later bedtime!).  So even though it can feel counter-intuitive, I would put him to bed as early as you dare for a couple of days 

[C&B&E]

Wish I could buy the GroClock, although I suspect he would ignore it.

We just used a lamp on a timer. 

[Katet]

Could you try putting a trundle bed in your room & see if that makes a difference.
The longer I parent & the older my children get them more I prescribe to the thought of "just because the text book says... doesn't mean it was written about my child" & "I need to do what I feel would work best for my family" 

BW was great for me when my boys were little & neither of them were great sleepers (one LSN, one with medical issues that impacted) & for me the most important lesson from BW that has been my gold standard is the "know your child" rather than follow the "should be doing"  So from my perspective if you think if "could work" give it a try & if it does it does if it doesn't you are no worse off.

[nona]

i would just start as you want to go on....my friend is still co-sleeping with their 8 yo and he won't go to sleep w/o them which means he is up really, really late... i have another friend co-sleeping with their 4 yo and it is the same situation. BUT, if you don't mind then try it?  it is such a personal thing. my DH's parents didn't mind at all and don't mind my kids sleepign with them or in their room and my DH actually slept in their room until he was 7 ( at that age they had set up a cot -the reason he wanted to sleep in their room was bc of a scary light fixture in his room but they had no idea). i can barely sleep with my husband in the same bed!

do you put him to bed 9-930 or does he not fall asleep until then?

this is what we use - and i'm in the states:

http://www.mytotclock.com/home.php?osCsid=55b62f96e421ee5e0f55c6adb9997e19

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

So he is still napping? Just sometimes or most days? Just thinking if he is it may be time to drop the nap or cut it back to get a better night. Co-sleeping is totally a personal choice, not something I would necessarily want to start at this age though!

[SEA0680]

Tried to put him to bed really early today- was aiming for going into the bedroom at 6:15, but it's really hard to move the schedule up so much, so I think we ended up getting into the bedroom around 7. He just ran around the room like crazy and went to bed around his normal time (9:25 or so). I will try and get into the bedroom around 6 tomorrow and see what happens.

He naps 1.5-2 hours most days, but if the nap routine is disturbed at all, or sometimes even if it isn't, he doesn't nap 1-2 days per week. He is only 3- isn't that a little early to drop the nap? And if he is overtired, should I shorten it?

[nona]

some kids drop their naps early... i have quite a few friends whose kids stopped napping at that age. my daughter is 3.5 and she is going from 0-1.

you coudl always stop the nap for a week and see what happens with bedtime? when my daughter does not nap she is really easy to put down and sleeps 12+ a night.  regardless if she naps or not (she does not nap every day), she has quiet time in her room.

[michaeljacknnugg]

Just chipping in - my DS had dropped his nap entirely by 2.5yo, so 3 doesn't seem at all early to me!

[SEA0680]

Tried to put him to bed at 6pm, and unsuccessful until 9:30pm!!! I don't think he is going to go to sleep early. I think the OT is getting better over time, but I am wondering- does it make sense to cap the nap at 1hour 30 minutes to try to get him to bed a little earlier? Or let him sleep as long as he wants (usually 2 hours)? He woke up crying twice last night, and woke up at 6:20am (not too bad). I'm starting to think that there is not much you can do about kids sleep patterns, and you just have to ride it out until they change on their own...

Thanks!!!

[Jodes112]

Hi,

Also wanted to just pop in and say he probably isnt tired at 7pm because he is having that nap.

My DD is 2.5 and on nap days she doesnt fall asleep until 8.30/9pm ish. On no nap days shes fast asleep by 6.30pm.

I would honestly say he's ready to drop the nap. Once you cut it out & get into the swing he will get used to the earlier bedtime.
Xx

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Only my middle DD napped past 2.5 years old, and the other two did not drop on their own, I did it to consolidate night sleep so it is possible (to a point of course) to tweak their sleep. It may take a bit for getting used to no naps but it will work out.