my 15 month old starts off in her crib but ends up in bed with my uusband and i

[patienced94]

My 15 month old has never self soothed. I have always rocked her to sleep in some sort of way. She has a very normal routine. She wakes at 10 am for the day and eats breakfast, plays, snack, lunch then nap about 2:30-3 for an 1 1/2-2 hrs. She gets her bath at 9:15 and out and ready for bed by 945. I have to rock her in my lap laying down until she falls asleep. I lay her in her bed and she does fine for a couple of hours. She then gets out of her bed and starts crying and usually beats me to her bedroom door. I give her her pack and lay her back down and stay in the room for a minute. Then ill leave. She does this usually twice throughout the night and then refuses to go back to sleep until she comes to bed with me about 2-4am but then has no problems sleeping until at least 10 if not 1030. How do i maybe getting her more independent on going to sleep on her own and on how to get her to sleep through the night in her own bed

[cath~]

Hello and welcome to BW

Since your DD hasn't settled independently before, the best BW method to use would be GW (gradual withdrawal).  This is explained more here:
Toddlers: Walk In/Walk Out vs. The Gradual Withdrawal Method (HOW TO CHOOSE)

Basically though, over time, you gradually reduce the amount of help you give your LO to fall asleep.

Since you currently rock your DD to sleep on your lap, a first step could be to reduce the amount of rocking.  Once she's nodding off like that, you could stop rocking altogether.  Then instead of cuddling her on your lap, you could cuddle her on her bed (she's in a bed, right?), then reduce the amount of cuddling eg until you just have a hand on her, then just sit next to her, then gradually sit further and further away, until you're out the door.

Does your LO have a lovey at all?  This could be a good time to try introducing one - you could try to encourage her to cuddle a soft toy while she's on your lap.  This can help when you move on to the later steps.

I think once you've made some progress with GW at BT, then the NWs will also probably reduce a bit.  However, since she knows that at some point she'll still be coming into your bed, they probably won't go altogether.  If you can make an effort to resettle her for all NWs in her bed then I think this would help a lot.  Once she learns that she no longer goes into your bed at night then this would probably stop her from waking up to much.

Hope that helps!  Let me know if you have any questions