12 week old looking to get started

[emmamw06]

 My "textbook" daughter is 10 weeks old. She has been on 3.5 hour EASY since birth which she moved into on her own with ease (she will not feed if I try 3 hour intervals). She is formula fed.
 She is not keen to have her day naps in her cot and really only has a complete nap in my arms/sling. I have taken the advice on this forum about the "fourth trimester" and not pushed the need for independent sleep yet, however with the aid of a white noise cd have successfully gotten her to sleep her first cycle of each nap in cot, after which she will not go back to sleep so I hold her for the remainder of the nap. I have tried ssh/pat which she does not like and moved instead to Harvey Karp's methods of sucking (paci) and rocking her whilst in bed. She is calmed very easily by this, however still does not return to sleep.
I am keen to move to independent sleep at 12 weeks (I can't keep feeding my 4 year old toast for dinner! - we have no other family to help out).
 I'm wanting to know - at the 12 week mark what do I do to get started? How do I break the current need for a held sleep? Does something just 'kick in' and change for her at 12 weeks? If so, what?

Our current day is as follows:
E 7am
A 45-60 mins
S 8am (1st cycle in cot, then after unsuccessful resettling, sleeps in arms)
E 10.30am
A 60 mins
S 11.30 (results as above)
E 2pm
A 60 mins
S 3pm (results as above)
E 5.30pm
A Bath, Cuddle
S 6.45/7pm (into cot relatively easy - no wake ups until feeding time)
DF 10pm (never drinks much)
NF 3am

Thanks, Emma

[anna*]

Hi there, I think you will find she transitions sleep cycles more easily if you extend her A time. 1 hr awake is very low for her age. Have a look here: Average A times- BOOKMARK ME! at this age most babies need about 1.5hrs awake to do a full nap.

[emmamw06]

Yeah but she has been doing this since she was 5 weeks old and will sleep solidly if I hold her, it's only if I put her in the cot that she wakes and then resists sleep. I don't think activity time is the issue - she gives all the tired signs and is very close to the recommendation for a 10 week old. Plus, she can do 2 hours sleep in my arms?

[anna*]

So you have a prop issue at play too, so you'd use shush pat to get her sleeping consistently in her crib. But in order for that to work you'll need to get the A times right, too.

[emmamw06]

Thanks for your help. I just re-read all of the activity info and realised A time is eyes open to eyes closed, which means she is doing 1hr 15. I will definitely keep an eye on this though. The other thing about holding to sleep becoming a prop - I'm confused, I was told you can't really accidental parent before 12 weeks and that with the whole "4th trimester" thing she might actually require the extra comfort to sleep. My daughter is only 10 weeks - have I been creating a monster by doing this? What's the best way to undo this?

[anna*]

Oh, it's possible to accidentally parent in the fourth trimester for sure - it's ok though, it's 'sleep at any cost' in those first weeks, and you can break the prop now by putting her down when she is drowsy rather than asleep, and then using shush-pat to comfort her when she cries.