Hi all
Can I just say what a fantastic resource this is. You helped me two years ago with my daughter and her 45 min naps / frequent NW and here I am again!
In view of my experience with my daughter, as soon as my son started with 45 min naps and 2 hourly NWs, I thought I would be able to resolve easily by pushing his A times but alas have had no luck so far so would be REALLY grateful for a second opinion to help me diagnose what the problem is. There are also a few other factors involved with my son and so not sure if these are also contributory factors – in which case some advice on what to target first would be brilliant!
Here are some basic facts to help:
My boy is 12 weeks old. He has probably been 45min napping for at least 3 weeks. He has always been a bit disturbed at night but the 2 hour NWs are also well established now. I couldn’t say whether they tally with the 45 min naps starting. I would hope I would have made the connection but possibly not!
I use a paci with my boy when he is settling for naps and for bedime. I don’t use it any other time during the night unless it is exceptional. He will suck it for anything from a few mins to 20 mins before spitting it out and I leave it out. I think he is starting to show signs of being a bit less interested in it and am hoping he will just naturally stop using it but any advice on this generally would be great as wonder if this reliance is contributing.
I have tried extending his A times. I am at a typical 1h30 pushing through to 1h45 A times. He seems set on 45 minutes S times though. Sometimes he will wake and just lie quietly for 15 mins and I have left him hoping he will re-settle but inevitably he will eventually start to shout to get up. I have tried sneaking in to give him his paci and he will lie quietly for a few mins and then shout to get up. I am conscious that I have not really pushed this re-settling strategy as found this really painful with my daughter and was hoping that extending his A time would sort it but as this has yet to work it is for this reason I am seeking help to see what I should target first as no doubt anything I try from here on is bound to be a bit painful! I haven’t tried pushing him beyond 1h 45 as he is showing signs of being really OT by this point but again, I haven’t pushed this strategy for fear that I am targeting the wrong thing.
He is BF and I always feed as soon as he wakes so I am conscious that because of his short A and S times, he is pretty much on a 2.15 to 2.30 EASY schedule and am presuming this too short for a 3 month old and may also be contributing to the NW?
He used to be in a swaddle but he would get so cross trying to get out of it in the night that I have swapped to a sleeping bag, especially now that he is 12 weeks and much less jerky. He seems equally persistent in his 45 min naps whether he in sleeping bag or swaddle. At least he seems a bit less angry!
So a typical day schedule is get up at 7am, be fed, be up roughly around 1h30 (or maybe 1h45 by the time he closes his eyes) and then settle him with a paci and in his sleeping bag. He normally settles peacefully and quickly because of his paci and with a bit of eyebrow stroking (an excellent tip I received from a stranger – pass it on!). If I push his A times then he cries more and I need to keep visiting him to put in his paci until he settles. He still normally then only does 45 mins or if really OT will do 30 mins. He sleeps for 45 mins and then the cycle repeats throughout the day which results in 5 sets of 45 min naps until around 7pm which is bedtime. Bedtime is usually fairly peaceful. He will sometimes wake after 45 mins but I will feed him in his room and settle him straight back down. Sometimes the paci required. I tell myself I am cluster feeding rather than feeding to settle!
He will then usually sleep through the evening without stirring until around 10.30pm but this can be as late as 1.30am. He will then wake every 2 hours until around 4am when he then is usually a little harder to settle (lies in bed grumbling and I sometimes have to give his his paci). This can take a few mins to an hour but after this he will usually sleep through until 7am. (i.e. sleeping for around 3 hours).
We still share a room so when he wakes he lies and grunts and snorts and grumbles rather than crying. The first wake after bedtime he is smacking his lips with hunger. There is less of this if any with the other wake times. He went through a phase of being really bad, waking every 1.5h – 2h and sometimes he will wake up an hour after a feed. If I am conscious enough to realise the time I will try his paci but there have been times when I just feed him in auto pilot and sit there in the dark trying to remember how many times he has been up that night and what time the last one was. The paci sometimes works but if it is not fairly immediate then I will feed him as do not want to risk him actually being hungry. Another reason why I am seeking advice and reassurance.
Any advice most gratefully received – am so sorry to go on at such length!
Thanks so much
x