How/when did you stop BFing your toddler? Just sorting my thoughts out...

[cath~]

H is 20 mos, has a BF at WU and another at BT (then book, unless she's too tired for it, then into her cot where she nods off).

With L from 11 mos (since I was returning to work) I had dropped to just 1 BF in the morning.  At 18 mos I just stopped offering it one day and she never asked for it.

However, with H, she asks for a BF first thing every morning, and most evenings she's asking for it once it's milk time too.  She definitely expects it!

I'm just wondering how other people's toddlers stopped BFing, esp if it was something that they had been asking for?  Did you just let them decide when to stop (if so, when/how did that happen?) or did you take a more active approach?

I'm not sure I'm really ready to stop BFing, but it's something I'm finding I'm thinking about more and more and it does have some attractive points... (it would be lovely if I could leave DH to do BT for both girls one day, for example.  Might even be able to make it for a BW pizza in London )

I guess if I were to tackle a feed first, say, it would prob be the BT one, but she's not that keen on cows milk in a sippy cup TBH (she's never had a bottle).  However, if I were to offer her more book options with it then she might be persuaded...

I guess since I'm not 100% set on stopping yet, I don't really want to upset her or cause her any distress, when I could wait say a few more months and she might just stop by herself. 

Just wondering what others did in this situation and whether there are any small changes I could perhaps make..?

Sorry for all the waffle.  Would be interested to hear others' experiences though

[aisling]

    Hugs

Our experience just sort of happened due to a number of things mainly developmental. (19 months) I was always willing to just follow his lead with weaning at that point. DS was down to morning and bedtime BF.  I joined spring/summer yoga session 2 evenings a week so DH did the bedtime routine and offered milk (he would take a bottle but not a sippy for milk, sippy was only for water he felt!) at bed those nights. One evening we were done eating supper DS asked for milk (in a bottle) right after his supper at 5:30 like a dessert lol.  So then he liked that and that weaned the bedtime BF. The morning BF was always my favourite anyway at the time as DS was in a big boy bed and when he woke he never got out of his bed lol, but called for me.  We would snuggle and he would have his morning BF. One morning he figured out that you can actually get out of the bed when you wake lol and came into our room and appeared in front of me and I offered him to come snuggle in our bed which he did, but didn't go for a BF. We all got up and he went to the cupboard and got out a box of Special K and decided he wanted that to eat.  That was it, BF was over from then on!       Coincidentally or not, he started teething his 2nd year molars (always early with teeth.)

Wanted to mention that DS was a very good eater of food, he ate well, BF at that point IMHO was  for thirst, snack and/or comfort for him. 

Maybe offer milk in a cup at supper and see?

[First mum]

Hi Cath, when did you introduce the book after the bf?  My 16 month old lo is very sleepy if not asleep when finishing her feed so it wouldn't work at the moment but it might be something I look to in the next few months.  Do you find it wakes your LO up more?

[*Ali*]

We weaned both boys at 26mo. For the BTs feeds I brought them earlier in the bedtime routine and did it downstairs when wanting to wean them. That way they weren't tempted to hang out on the boob all sleepy. I also offered them to go up for an extra story with Daddy when they were finished and they often finished sooner because of it. Then they were given the choice of having a feed or going up with daddy and they chose to go with daddy.

For the morning feeds I got DH to distract them by getting them up and going downstairs for breakfast while I hung back and joined them 10 mins later or so. We did this for several days and if they did ask after that I just said reminded them they didn't have it at that time anymore and so the boobs had stopped making it at that time. I remember Colby asking a few times "milk there?" And me telling him no there was no milk there anymore.

It was very easy and tear-free.

[weaver]

LO1 stopped at 17 mos as I was pg and feeling really really tired.  Wish I hadn't done that (the weaning not the new baby! )

LO2 wound down and eventually stopped just before she was 3.  There was definitely a huge emotional component in there.   There were peaks and troughs of demand on the way.  Sometimes she would ask in the afternoon, and then not for days.  It was really very flexible.  I agree with Ali about playing around with the BT feed a bit, moving it earlier, doing it out of her bedroom, in  order to give yourself more wiggle room.

If your main concern is about *having* to be there at certain times, then I would just experiment with not being there.  It will be nerve-racking but I bet H can do it.  Maybe offer a late afternoon BF and then skip off out on the town (I will happily meet you for pizza and calm you down!). DH will manage.  H knows he doesn't have milk, it'll be fine. 

I think the flexibility is the big difference between feeding a baby baby and a bigger one, and it means it's easier to keep up the BFing for longer.  Personally I loved keeping it going

[amayzie]

Morning feeds only till 2 years 7 months... weaned when we moved house and the routine changed.

[*Ali*]

Oh yes I also meant to say that I skipped several BT BFs once they were over 1 and they just didn't ask as I wasn't there. I went away for 2 nights and 3 days when Colby was 13mo and I went out for 20hrs on a hen do (early morning to very late that night) when Cadan was about 18mo. DH just offered solids and a sippy despite them never really having milk from a sippy on a regular basis. They drunk some or didn't. It wasn't needed like it is with a little baby IMO.

I'd be up for pizza!

[cath~]

Thanks so much for your replies everyone


Lots to think about but I think I'm gonna start by changing up bt a little and maybe offering a sippy of milk just before bt or at end of dinner.

Will have to talk to dh as well about doing a BT on his own as well to see what he thinks..  I guess the only problem might be if h gets v upset and it takes him ages to calm/settle her, then L would get upset and be on her own for that time too...

Hmm

anyway, I'll just start by making small changes and see where they take us I think

[weaver]

He could start by doing BT with you in the house. Make it really low key, yk, "and now dada is going to take you to bed", happy face

[cath~]

Possibly but I think if she knew I was around it might be harder...

Maybe as a start I could let dh do baths (usually we kinda do together when he's home), then I could come up and BF H in our room (not hers) and then pass her to dh to read a book in her room and pop her to bed. At least she'd get used to him being the one putting her down which would be a start.

Then if ever I weren't around, it wouldn't be such a big change for her to just miss the BF bit.

[*Ali*]

Sounds like a plan

[weaver]

That's a great plan. Best of luck with it.  You might not need to think in terms of dropping feeds, if you don't want to, just give yourself a bit more flexibility.  And let us know when you fancy testing it out

[Sarah - Enfys' Mum]

We stopped about a month ago, so 23 months.  She was feeding first thing in the morning and bedtime. I just stopped asking her if she wanted milk.  If she asked, I gave it to her, we had about a fortnight where she'd nurse once a day and then one day she just stopped.  She doesn't have milk at bedtime but we have supper late (after 6 and bt is by 7:30) and she has milk with her supper.

[cath~]

You might not need to think in terms of dropping feeds, if you don't want to, just give yourself a bit more flexibility.

yeah, I think this is where I am at the moment

Spoke to DH about it and he's up for it too.  Very keen to read H her BT story in fact

And let us know when you fancy testing it out

Will do!

Thanks for sharing your experience too Sarah   It sounds similar to us.  I guess H will just stop being interested at some point.

Hi Cath, when did you introduce the book after the bf?  My 16 month old lo is very sleepy if not asleep when finishing her feed so it wouldn't work at the moment but it might be something I look to in the next few months.  Do you find it wakes your LO up more?

Hi First mum.  So sorry I forgot to reply to your question before!
I think H was probably about 14-15 months when I introduced a book.  We didn't manage it every night at first, but now we do most nights.  It does prob wake her up a bit more after a nice relaxing feed, but not too much (i.e. it doesn't really excite her). She still settles and nods off OK after the book.  I think it depends on temperament though (and the book you choose!).  Some LOs, esp at a young age, might find a book too stimulating right before BT.  Worth a try though.  You could perhaps consider bringing the BF a bit earlier if she's nodding off whilst feeding to see if that helps.