Help for my sister please

[jessmum46]

I have a new nephew born Sunday so just over 4 days old now. Sister is really keen to breastfeed and really motivated to keep at it but DN is just refusing to latch! She's expressing loads and syringe/cup feeding so supply not an issue we don't think. She's had help from midwives, support workers and I spent a morning with her yesterday trying to help. It seems like he just doesn't properly open his mouth wide enough to get latched on.  I've had a good look in his mouth and no tongue tie that I can see, no problems with his palate.  Any thoughts or tips I can pass on? She's off to a feeding cafe today so is getting lots of input but I'm not sure what you can do when LO is just not doing it!

[*Ali*]

Tongue ties can be invisible so I'd get someone who knows about these things to feel inside his mouth for one.

I'd definitely recommend seeing a qualified lactation consultant.

One trick I used to get a good latch with Cadan was to use my finger on the side of my breast to pull the nipple out to the side a bit and then just as baby opened his mouth I'd kind of flick it back into his mouth and pull him into the breast. It's hard to explain. I wonder if there is a video on you tube. ETA this is what I mean http://www.tonguetiehelp.org.uk/bfeedingtips.html

I'd also try skin to skin. Having his belly to hers stimulates him to search for the breast and latch on. There is loads of info on natural latching. That might help. Like this https://breastfeedingusa.org/content/article/baby-led-latch-how-awaken-your-babys-breastfeeding-instincts

[michaeljacknnugg]

DS struggled to latch for the first few weeks and I found it really distressing. Persistence and checking everything was 'technically correct' was what worked in the end.

Congratulations on your new nephew!

[jessmum46]

Thank you, I'll pass on those links Ali and thanks for the reassurance too MJ&N.  That's kind of what I'd been telling her but easy for me to do from the PoV of having BF two LOs without too much difficulty.  Thanks again x

[-Maya-]

Katherine, I bring you opposite viewpoint. I forced myself to breastfeed for 3/4 months and even if I think I did best thing for DS health, menawhile I caused myself a lot of pain, both physically (I got mastitis and bf was very painful when DS was 3mo) and mentally (yk, bad mother when compared to who bf for 2years, etc.).
So I agree with insisting for doing everything technically correct, I also suggest to check on you sis to avoid she gets too distressed on the topic. She will be a wonderful mom bf-ing or ff-ing, bur she may be slow to really understand that this is for real and not just a consolation prize. I felt very high pressure on bf, there is so much buzz around the topic and it seems that you couldn't consider yourself a good mum if you do not breastfeed for a couple of years. In the hormones burst after pregnancy and partum it is difficult to put things into perspective.

[ENMS]

I would try biological nurturing, you can Google to find a video. really helped me with my DD2

[4isstillnighttime]

One of mine was like that, and the things that helped were either squishing my nipple between my fingers so that even with his mouth open a little bit he got lots of breast in, or something called the flipple that I found on YouTube (sorry if that is what is linked to above, on my phone and the link won't work).

The other thing that really helped was being at home, relaxed, in bed with lots of pillows and just snuggling and enjoying each other a bit. Once I accepted that he would never breastfeed and bought a big tin of formula he suddenly latched on!! 

Hope they are doing well

[becj86]

Yep, I second biological nurturing approach - was the first non-painful latch and I still had a big rip in my right nipple.

[michaeljacknnugg]

How are they doing now, Kath?

[jessmum46]

They are doing better, I think it was suggested she try nipple shields and that has helped. I'm aware of the issues with them though so hoping to chat to her later to make sure she has support to try to wean off them x

[michaeljacknnugg]

Glad things have improved!

[Buntybear]

No advice but support that she hangs in there if that is what she wants. with Olly it was painful until he was 8 weeks old  unfortunately due to his allergies I had no choice but to grit my teeth and get through it. But I did get there na sit was worth it. I see SO many mums give up within days, sometimes it just needs that bit longer xx

[jessmum46]

Yes she's pretty motivated to keep going and getting good support so hopefully things will just continue to improve x

[weaver]

Katherine, can you point her towards the Jack Newman website? Great videos there to show and help with latching, and just tons of information.
http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

Was DN's birth stressful for him at all?  LO1 took a lot of pressure on his head and basically had a really bad pain in his jaw for his first few days.  MW recommended cranio-sacral osteopathy and he was like a different baby the same afternoon. You could see the stress go out of his teeny face and he really got to work feeding.  I know it's not for everyone but it really helped us.