Author Topic: Extending the nap & independent sleep  (Read 881 times)

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Offline rachaelcole

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Extending the nap & independent sleep
« on: September 24, 2015, 11:55:20 am »
DS is 12 weeks & he's been pretty much in pain from birth with multiple allergies & reflux.

We are nowhere near independent sleep (which is fine given the circumstance). Mostly he does great at night now, waking to nurse 1-2 times & goes back down.

Nap wise, because of all the pain, we really struggled to get him to sleep at all, but we are now able to get him off 'reasonably' easily (APOP city over here!!). If he is put down he wakes either instantly or after 30minuyes.  To get a long nap he needs to be held & sssh'd & patted through the transition. I can usually get one long nap a day like this.

My question is, is it likely that he will learn to transition if I keep doing it this way? Setting him down is a step to far at the moment but I'd like to be working towards it?

TIA

Offline creations

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Re: Extending the nap & independent sleep
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2015, 13:03:18 pm »
So sorry to read your LO has been through so much pain :(

I would just keep doing what you need ot do and not worry about him learning to transition...because he will eventually even if it comes from sleep training at an older age when everything has settled down for him yk?
However, as you've asked about working towards transitioning I also assume working towards independently sleeping by falling to sleep drowsy, my suggestion would be to do the minimum needed at each nap time and each transition and to have a think about how you might alter (when you are ready, now or later) the method you use.  For instance it may be possible to 'hold' him barely a centimetre from the mattress when you help him transition, this way he feels his body weight lifted, he knows you are present, he feels the slight rock/sway of your natural movement as he wriggles or just because you are holding him, and feels reassured that you are there. Can you see how holding in this way is quite a big move towards independence?  So once he was used to this you would hold in this way briefly then allow his weight down on the mattress but still on/in your hands so he feels held...and later still lay him with his own body on the mattress but keep a firm grip of him...lightening the hand over time.
I imagine you have tried something similar in trying to put him down anyway, if you mark out these steps in your mind, or even on paper, you can keep working towards them as a gentle and gradual move towards self settling.

Another thing you might think about is the use of a pillow whilst you sit on the floor with him to sleep.  This is described in the Regaining Trust of Your Child - I am not suggesting you have lost trust in any way, only this method with the pillow gets baby very gently and in a supported way, off you, and onto another surface where he learns to feel the weight of his own body.  Scroll down to crib phobia 8 months for the description
Regaining Trust of Your Child
I actually used a method similar to this in my baby's early weeks, I had not read BW at that point, I was just trying to get him off me so I could stretch out!
*** Please note *** there is a step towards the end of the process where it says you leave the room, this is for older babies of 8 months+ who can roll, pull themselves up et.  As your baby is much younger I would strongly advise staying in the room with baby until the pillow is fully removed from baby's bed/cot to stay within SIDS guidance.

If he needs to sleep elevated prepare the cot (or pillow if you choose to go with that method as a 'working towards method') with a safe wedge and cot blocks.

Of course transitioning is partly learned habit, and partly routine needs to be right too. There may be other aspects you need to look at alongside, but I think you already know that :)
« Last Edit: September 24, 2015, 13:08:37 pm by creations »