Please help! Ready to give up. 3 Month Old Poor Weight Gain

[NewAtThis06]

thank you to whoever takes the time to read this...my thoughts are somewhat disorganized. im exhausted!

My baby is 3 months old. From the beginning we struggled with his latch and the LC's at the hospital said to use a nipple shield. Things had been going well with the shield and he had gained almost two pounds the first couple of weeks. Then his weight plateaued and he was not gaining the recommended 1 oz per day. We had his lip tie revised to see if that would help with latch and his weight gain. The first couple of months he would nurse one side typically because I had a forceful letdown and oversupply. In order to try and help him not choke while eating I continued to just nurse one side and he seemed satisfied and slept well. For some reason his nursing time decreased and decreased to where he would not even take the second breast when offered and he ONLY nursed ONE side for JUST my letdown. I went to a couple of different LC's and one said that things were okay and just keep trying even if his weight gain is not great. The other said that it was likely my milk supply was low and that we needed to increase it- she said that because of his poor latch and recessed jaw that my supply probably decreased since my breasts were never being fully drained and that is why he was not gaining- her recommendation was that I pump both sides after he eats and then supplement via bottle. For 4 weeks I have been doing this- I can tell that my supply has increased and when we have weighed him before and after nursing his usual few minutes on just one side...the scale reflects he only had eaten 1.5 ounces. He just does not seem to have the desire to eat/nurse. He is content. He will talk and smile after nursing and not indicate that he does not truly have a full belly. I tried nursing him more frequently throughout the day but that did not help with weight gain and just frustrated him. There is no way I can keep nursing when he will not take the other side nor drink on one side long enough to get more than 1.5 ounces. I have continued to pump and offer a bottle but it is a strategic nightmare, especially with another young child at home.

If I felt he was having enough wet diapers and stools then I would be okay. He was 3 weeks old and went 8 days without a stool...this is when I noticed his weight gain issues began- I would imagine he was too young to go that long without a stool. Just last week he nursed 3x at night and by morning his diaper was not all that wet. I want to nurse. I just dont think he will eat enough to allow himself to grow and gain weight well.

Has anyone else had this experience where your baby only nursed one side for just your letdown? I feel like if I were to stop pumping my milk supply would just dry up over a short time.

One of the main concerns from the doctor was that he was 50th percentile at 1 month...and then in between 1 and 2.5 months he went all the way down to 15th.

Weight on Pedi scale:
Birth 6/16/15  (at hospital): 7lb 15oz
6/19/15: 7lb 8oz
7/10/15: 9lb 4oz
8/14/15: 10lb 12 oz
8/31/15: 11 lb 5 oz started supplementing
9/9/15: 11 lb 14 oz

L.C. scale
9/11/15: 11lb 13oz
9/25/15: 12lb 8oz

What is most concerning is the two times, two separate weeks, we had weighed him before and after nursing he only had an intake of 1.5 – 1.75 ounces…and that is it. He shows he is done eating, pushes me out of his mouth and has a sour look on his face because he doesn’t want it…even with 3 hours in between feedings.

Lip tie revised August 24th

Supplementing 2oz after feedings where he only took one breast- which is pretty much all of them during the day. I have tried to do skin to skin during the day, tried to nurse in a dark and quiet room, tried to nurse while he is drowsy, cosleeping, babywearing etc to encourage our nursing relationship and to encourage him to nurse longer and get on both sides. She called him a “happy starver”…he is so chill and content that he doesn’t give strong cues and would eat just an ounce or so every 2-3 hours and not fuss much because of his personality. Nearly had me bawling in her office hearing that. I feel so guilty that I have basically had a starving baby. Last week he nursed 2 or 3 times over night (11pm-6am time frame) and his diaper was barely wet in the morning. His stool patterns started worrying me when he was 3 weeks old- 8 days without a stool which I believe is much too young

Worried about him only getting foremilk and being gassy and not gaining weight because of less fat content each meal.

Worried about losing my supply if not draining even one side each feeding and not even latching once on the second side. He eats only for my letdown.

Worried about him preferring/expecting a bottle after each feeding.

According to the LC we are having issues because he has a recessive bottom jaw, we started out using a nipple shield, poor latch …all reasons why she thinks I had a low supply and he was not gaining well.

I am exhausted from the nurse/bottle feed from previous pump session/pump session on both sides routine. I also have a 2 year old and feel horribly that I am neglecting her and other household duties because of how all-consuming this is.

At this point I feel emotionally attached to pumping/bottle feeding because I know for sure how many ounces he is getting and know that if he wakes a lot at night or takes his short naps that it is not because he is starving. But I do not even know how to read him and his hunger cues anymore- I feel really incompetent and clueless. Ehen i first started pumping directly after each feeding, and pumping on both sides, i would get on average half an ounce to an ounce each side. Now I am getting 2-3 ounces per side. My goal is to simplify. I need to either solely nurse (which is not seeming to work) or solely pump and bottle feed. I cannot do everything all day and night. I have been at this for almost 4 weeks now and am just exhausted and burnt out. I doubt if I even activated a second let down that he would latch on again. he seriously wont no matter what I do. I have been trying breast compressions also to keep him interacting at the breast and continue sucking. I really need to figure something out soon because I have been even considering formula at this point of exhaustion.

[becj86]

First off, hugs xx Its really hard when LO is not gaining what they should.

I had similar issues with my DS and it was all down to my insanely excessive supply. He wasn't getting enough fat and was so windy and gassy. L would also clamp down when my second letdown started and shake his head like a dog with a snake (lots of damage to breast) and refused to keep feeding either side thereafter too. He had become used to the firehose first letdown but the second really upset him.

I pumped and bottle fed for a few days (could mix what I'd pumped so he got even amounts of fat each feed) - his gassiness went and he started gaining. Thereafter, I did biological nurturing to let him latch instead of trying to get everything mechanically correct and he got a great latch and as a result of lying back, the letdown wasn't so bad for him and he went from strength to strength.

How often is he feeding? Could be he's snacking and so not needing to take much in at each feed? What does his typical day look like - might be partially a routine thing?

WRT increasing fat in initial milk, the fat clings to the walls of the milk ducts, so if you massage the breast up near the chest wall (not near the areola), that can help it let go and increase fat content of the first milk that he gets as he feeds.

[*Ali*]

You already have great advice from Bec so I just wanted to add hugs and a few FAQS for you to read and some reassurance.

First of all, big congratulations on making it to 3mo. That is fabulous. It will get easier from here on out I'm betting. We want to help you with breastfeeding but if you do need to move to formula for your own sanity there is no shame in it.

Let's see what we can look at to help the breastfeeding now. Here are some FAQS that will be worth reading.
Oversupply and Overactive (Forceful) Let-Down
Breast compression
I'm worried I may have low milk supply

Could you clarify for me what you mean by having that lip tie revised? Is that divided or just checked? Sorry, not heard it called that before.

Did the LC say how much she would expect him to be drinking at a feed? I ask because if you're feeding say 10x a day that is 15-17oz which isn't far off the 19oz lower limit of what is considered within a normal range for EBF babies 1-6mo. I would assume some feeds are slightly more, like night feeds for example, so he could be getting a reasonable amount overall. Those last two weighing show he gained 11lbs in two weeks which is ok, isn't it?

I'm wondering if it would be more manageable to pump and top up every other feed? So when he wakes you BF then offer the pumped milk from a previous session then just before he sleeps again you BF to top him up and pump while he is asleep. Then when he wakes you BF and offer what you just pumped.

[zissi]

Hi there, I could have written that post! First of all big hug, it's so difficult! You mentioned that you had the lip tie revised? Maybe get him assessed if he has s tongue tie too which is very likely abd is often the culprit for poor latching. We had the tongue tie revised twice and it had reattached. So our feeding never improved but it may for you. My baby is now 4.5 months and like yours only drinks the letdown and when she has to work then to get at the milk she can't die yo the tongue tie. Luckily we don't have major weight gain issues mainly because of how I deal with the situation. Basically I offer her the breast during the day every hour which she usually takes, like inputs only one side. At night she drinks very often too but I allow it to get milk into her. I also take domperidone to keep my supply up as she never drains the breast eith her short sessions. My nursing goal is 6 months which I will hopefully reach with exclusive nursing. It's hard work and not what I would have hoped for but she continues to gain weight and I don't need to supplement. I did the pumping for 1 months, never gave her the milk, mainly because she refused the bottle. So maybe that could be an option for you for z few months? Unless the tongue tie will be resolved and maybe bodywork will be needed too I don't think your nursing relationship will change. I might be wrong though, speaking for my situation... Let me know how you get on!!