Getting my newborn to nap

[choc]

My newborn will not nap in his moses basket anymore. He is 2 weeks old and the beg inning of last week was great, he was napping in the basket with just a couple of resettled and dropping off by himself. The last couple of days he just won't drop off in there for hours. My husband went back to work so I have had to start doing the school run which means 2 naps in the pushchair, which went ok although he dropped off a bit later than I thought he should have. Then he has 2 naps in the basket and it's taken me 2 hours each time to get him to sleep. Today I have been in tears.
I read tracys sleep interview and it said to continue waking them up at feed time even if they've only been asleep a short time, which I've been doing. Do you think I should do shh pat to teach him to sleep in the basket? I would have him sleep on me but he won't always do that either.

[lily_layne]

(((hugs))) It sounds like you have a spirited LO. Around 2 weeks-6 weeks, babies start waking up more and it can become trickier to get them sleep (which is exhausting for mom).

I would try for 30-60 minutes for a nap and then take a break. Sometimes with spirited or touchy LOs naps just don't happen even though we want them too. My spirited DD missed many naps in her first few weeks.

How are you currently trying to get him to sleep? At 2 weeks, I wouldn't be game to try sh/pat especially with what sounds like a spirited LO but everyone is different. I knew that I didn't have the stamina for it. I think it's ok to help them to sleep when they're small and then work on independent sleep later. I think I mentioned it in your other post, but I would try Dr. Karp's 5s's (http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/video/soothing-techniques-for-baby). If you have a swing or something similar, I would also try naps in there. Both of my LOs had many swing naps in the beginning and it never became a prop. Just 2 weeks ago, he was snuggled up in utero in almost constant motion and some LOs just need that motion to sleep when they are still tiny.

I tended towards not waking my LOs at feed time, especially when they took a long time to get to sleep. With DD, I only woke if it was 4 hours past her last feed. With DS, sometimes he went 4.5/5 hours. I know other mom's have had different experiences but I found that waking to feed didn't make a difference in the night (assuming LO is still getting a reasonable number of feeds in the day). Sometimes these LOs just need to catch up a bit on sleep.

I received great advice about handling stress about sleep and newborn sleep (especially when there's an older LO in the picture) on this thread: Tips for handling sleep anxiety. I turned myself into a basket case fretting about naps with DD and the advice posted there really helped me find a better way with DS.

If you'd like, you can post what one of your days looks like and I can see if there's anything that can be done with his routine (as much as there can be a routine with a newborn  )

[choc]

Thanks for the reply, the video has made things much clearer thank you, I will try that today for sure. After I've done the 5ss and he is calm do you keep doing them til he is asleep then lay in basket  or hold them for the nap? Or do you put them down when calm but not asleep?
I will post how yesterday went when I get back from school run!
Another thing, does it matter if  no naps are in the basket? Two naps are already in pushchair due to school runs and if I use the swing too that doesn't leave many naps for the basket?

[choc]

Yesterday looked like this
E 7.30
S 8.30. In pushchair on school run, I know it's a long A but don't know what else to do.
E 10.30
A held upright for 20 mins to stop sick and hiccups, change nappy then changed again as did another poo immediately. Probably overtired by now?
S 11.15 this is when I attempted to put him down.
S actual sleep is around 12.45
E 1.30 I woke him
S 1.40 on me as soon as bottle finished, the woke for a bit then I put him in the pushchair ready for school run at about 2.30 and fell asleep about 2.40
E 4.30 woke himself
S 5.00 is when I put him down but didn't actually sleep till around 7.45!
E 10.00 dream fed
E 1.00am
E 4am
E 7am

When trying to settle for the long periods we tried a hand on his chest, shhing, holding him. He is swaddled and all was in the dark room.
Today I have noticed that he falls asleep on me after the bottle for about ten mins then wakes up again. So I don't know when his A time starts? When he wakes to eat or when  he wakes again  after the ten minutes.

[choc]

I missed out an E at 7pm.

[lily_layne]

After I've done the 5ss and he is calm do you keep doing them til he is asleep then lay in basket  or hold them for the nap? Or do you put them down when calm but not asleep?

At 2 weeks, I would put him down asleep or very drowsy but you could try putting him down awake and see what happens. I wouldn't worry too much about creating a prop at this age. You can easily undo it later.

Another thing, does it matter if  no naps are in the basket?

I tried to aim for 1 nap/day in the bassinet but it didn't always happen. If he's not sleeping in the basket and you're feeling exhausted, I'd say go for the swing for now!

My 2 are up from there naps so I'll try get back on to look at your EASY later.

[choc]

Thank you, I'd like to pick your brains on the last nap becoming a catnap and fitting a bath in too when you have time to look at my easy! If that's oK.

[choc]

Really struggling today, he has had barely any sleep. I've spent the whole morning trying. I've tried pushchair which gave him an hour sleep after walking for 45 mins and rocking it for another 45mins. For the next nap I've tried the moses basket and I've done the 5Ss which calmed him down great but he didn't fall asleep, I did it for a while but arm was really hurting so had to put him down. I've now got him in the swing but every time the dummy falls out he screams. He's been awake 2 hours now and just don't know what to do in this situation.

[lily_layne]

(((hugs))) My DD also did some very long A times when she was a newborn where she just wouldn't nap. I know how frustrating and stressful it can be. I also totally get having to quit the 5s's because of a sore arm! I usually laid DS in my arms and jiggled his head in the crook of my elbow instead. Try to remember that it's just sleep and he will be ok. How is his mood when he's awake? Is he calm or fussy?

If you're feeling tired and he's not sleeping, would he lay on you or beside you in bed (or in his basket near the bed with our hand on him) just so you can get some rest? Some moms also swear by a sling in the early days. Do you have a sling library near year so you could borrow one to try?

I looked over the EASY. Was that first A an hour (7:30-8:30)? If it was, I wouldn't consider that overly long (and if he napped until 10:30 then it was probably ok). Some newborns only do 45 minutes and some need more. There was no way my DD was ready for sleep after 45 minutes. DS did sometimes but his A times were more 1h/1h15 minutes. Some LOs skip the sleepy newborn stage and are quite alert. Does this sound like your DS? Are you waiting for him to yawn before you try to put him down? When DD was tiny, I spent way too much energy trying to get her to sleep when I thought she *should* be sleeping instead of leaving her when she was content and watching for cues.

[choc]

I have been watching to put down at the first yawn but that first A is pretty set due to school run.

The rest of the time I am aiming for first yawn which can some times be after around half an hour, sometimes less. If we lay him down too soon after a feed though he can be really sick so wwe sometimes end up missing the window It's he yawns when we are still holding him upright and we haven't even changed hisnappy yet! by the time we've done it it is too late. 

[choc]

Also, in the end I gave up with that nap and just got him up and tried again on the next one which was in pushchair for school pick up.

Can I also ask, should his last nap after the 4pm feed be a catnap or a full nap as he is having now? If it should be a catnap do Iwake him? If iit's a full nap how will I ever fit in a bath!

Tonight we put him down after a couple of yawns and sat with hand on chest and he went off to sleep in around half an hour. Does that sound OK? Although I'm sure he's extra tired from the missed nap and it probably won't go as smoothly tomorrow!

Sorry for all the questions, thanks for your support.

[lily_layne]

Can I also ask, should his last nap after the 4pm feed be a catnap or a full nap as he is having now? If it should be a catnap do Iwake him? If iit's a full nap how will I ever fit in a bath!

If he hasn't had much sleep earlier in the day, I would probably allow a full nap (unless it's pushing BT much later than you want - it's a bit of a balance of his needs and yours). At this age, I often bathed my LOs in the morning. You could try to do it when your older one is at school. I didn't bath every day either. A full bath every 3 days and a top and tail each day.

Are you aiming for the same BT every night? Some moms do start early with a consistent BT and that does require waking an LO from the last nap so they are tired for BT. I preferred to just let the chips fall where they may with BT depending on how the day went and work on establishing a set BT when they were older.

Tonight we put him down after a couple of yawns and sat with hand on chest and he went off to sleep in around half an hour. Does that sound OK?

That sounds great!

When trying for a nap, I would set a limit of about 40 minutes before abandoning the nap and trying again later. I spent way too much time in a darkened room trying to get DD to sleep and all it did was frustrate us both.

[lily_layne]

E 4.30 woke himselfS 5.00 is when I put him down but didn't actually sleep till around 7.45!

I just reread this and realized I missed it before. He slept pretty much all afternoon so he likely wasn't tired after 30 minutes. He probably ended up getting OT while fighting sleep. If he yawns half an hour after a good nap, I would ignore it unless he continues to yawn. I remember DS feeding and then he'd yawn but he was usually good for another 20-40 minutes after that and then he'd start yawning again.

[choc]

What is considered a good nap? Is 1 and a half hou rs Ok or should it be 2? I will ignore a yawn then too soon after a good one.
I will carry on with full length nap in evening then. I want bedtime at 7/7.30pm ideally. Will he turn it into a catnap himself or is that something I need to do when he is a little older?

[lily_layne]

Generally, 1.5 h or more is considered a restorative nap. If you want to keep BT at 7/7:30 you may need to wake him from the last nap. That nap will likely turn into a CN on it's own as he gets older.