Doing something wrong?

[Florena49]

I think im doing something wrong

Hi, Maks is now 11 weeks, some days we have something resembling a routine, other days its more about lets get through today with some sleep. What im struggling with is figuring out his routine, most likely because he only sleeps a long nap in his ergo. Last couple of days we have progressed to getting him settled in his moses basket without a dummy a d he is pretty good at that, settles with shush and pat easily, especially for the first nap.
He is a very happy baby and in all honestly can be awake for a couple of hours and be fairly content.
Unfortunately he doesn't sleep any longer than 20 mins in his moses.
Is this normal for babies?
Today so far has been:


6.45wu eat
8.05nap-8.30/9.55 (woke, i put him in ergo)
11.20nap-11.40/1.05 woke, nap in ergo
2.20nap-

So his A time is 1.15-1.20min, but he wont sleep for longer than 20-25 mins, unfortunately i dont have the time to resettle, as i have a nearly 2 year old too.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Might he need just a wee bit more A time (esp for the first A to get a decent first nap)? Average for a 3 month old is 1hr 20- 1hr 30 min and if he has always been a short napper maybe he is one who needs a bit higher A time? How are the nights? Wake time/bedtime etc. Have you ever observed a nap? Is he possibly jolting at the 20 min mark and then cannot resettle?

[Florena49]

This was the rest of the day:

6.45wu eat
8.05nap-8.30/9.55
11.20nap-11.40/1.05
2.20nAp-3.55
5.20nap-6
7.35BT

He was ot by bt, it took him 30 mins to settle. He doesnt jolt really he just suddenly starts squirming after 20 mins. If i resettle he wakes every 10 min smiling and just chilling there. So i guess i could try 1.30 before the morning nap and see how that goes.
 He is asleep now, generally he will wake around midnight and then around 4-5, and will often be unsettled after that.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Have you had a chance to try a higher A time? I hope it has helped some if you did.

[Florena49]

It had the same effect, just took longer to settle him for first nap this has been today:
7.45wu
9.20nap-9.40/10.50
12.22nap-12.42/tried resettling for 20 mins no luck, put in ergo took ages to fall asleep about 30 min, slept till 2.40
4.30napping in ergo, i just couldn't settle him at all.so he is sparkoed in there now.

Could the 20 mins nap be OT? I just cant work him out he is so chilled out generally

[Florena49]

Well i think we had some progress, a 35 minute nap!
This was today so far

6.50wu
8.20nap-11 ergo with husband
11.27nap-11.02/2.30
4.10nap-settled him in his moses, there was more crying than usual.

He seems to have had loads of sleep today, i hope the night goes ok.
I will get him up at 5.30pm and 7 pn bt for him and then see how it goes

I will try the 1.30 a time for a couple of days and see when that gets me

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

How has it been going? Sorry have been working and then falling asleep on the couch before I get to bw!

[Florena49]

I know the feeling, im on mT leave now and this happens to me often in the eve

This was yesterday

Not sure about wu time
8.20nap-10.30 ergo, bit woke 20 min later crying
12.08-12.30/1.55
3.25nap-3.57/4.10-5.05
6.55BT

We had a couple of 30 min naps, should i tru for a longer A time and see of that gives a longer Nap.

Nights have gone funny in the last 3-4 days, up every 2 hours, and usually wakes 40 mins after BT and takes a while to resettle he is jusy lying eyes open and when dummy falls out wakes and we start all over again.

[Florena49]

He is a very confusing child, he smiles even when tired, i tried 1.40A and of course he was OT, woke a couple of mins after settling and then 20 mins later, do u think the 20min nap could be OT?

[Florena49]

Right im confused here, 1.30A and 1.40A give us 30min nap and very difficult to resettle even in the ergo and with the dummy, just keeps waking. More A time? Or OT and should stick to 1.20A and be content that he falls asleep more less ok?

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

The short naps are more likely to be ot, so I would maybe back it up a bit and try again in a bit (or do it in smaller increments over a longer period of time). Earlier you said he is often unsettled in the early morning hours, do you think any of this could be down to discomfort of some kind (gas, reflux etc)?

[Florena49]

He is just so chilled, did 1.50A with him and 25min nap. So i guess we will go back to 1.20 and try again. He doesn't have reflux or any other issues. He is getting better at night, although im not too worried about the nights for now. What would be incredibly helpful is if he could have a couple of naps himself and they were longer than 30min. He doesnt cry when he wakes after 30 mins, he cries out just to make us aware that he is up and is just lying calmly. I guess thats why i thought he needs more A time

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

He might need it but maybe he is just the type to need it done very slowly? Or perhaps he does need quite a bit more than average so hard to tell when they are chill and happy! I suppose if you are curious you could push that A in the am by quite a bit and see what happens?

[Florena49]

He is just so different to Oskar. I will take it back to 1.20 to start with and see how he does for a couple of days, and then increase and hold for a couple of days.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Yes my three were all drastically different in the sleep department. Fx that slowly tweaking works for you guys xx

[Florena49]

Honestly this kid is so chilled out, he confused the hell out of everyone. Im very slowly increasing his A time and trying to look out for his ques too. We are at 1.30A time and still 30 minute naps, he wakes makes a noise and just chilling out in his cot, today he stayed there for a good 20 minutes just looking around, im scratching my head

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

Any luck pushing the A more? That would be so confusing to have a chilled out baby - hard to read!

[Florena49]

We have been up to 2 hours, same effect, but very difficult to resettle afterwards. So im sticking to 1.30A for now, although he only sleeps for 30 mins i can then resettle him in ergo and he will sleep. Although he is becoming more and more alert and its not easy to settle him for naps, he rarely cried just lying and gazing around....

[bossanovile]

I completely understand with the confusing cues and A times. They do seem to change each time (which I suppose isn't unfair given that each sleep quality may differ etc). My 13 week old daughter has some wake times at 1.2, others at 1.5 and occasionally 1.35-1.45. It genuinely is hard to tell if they're very sociable and have a great fear of missing out on play (my daughter literally lets out a whine the moment I walk down the hall way towards her room and gets an excitable second wind)

I'm also struggling with the 25min naps since 10 weeks and there are days I'm chained to the crib doing shh/pat (too stimulating). My only suggestion that seems to have worked to get her to 45 is what others have taught me on this forum (basically a heavy hand as she jolts through the first 20, and then at 35th minute - gentle pressure) but no matter what, she stretches and wakes at 45 even if I'm doing the sleep unicorn that is 'drowsy but awake'! Just wanted to empathise and I hope this is also somewhat of a biological phase!