Bedtime is torture

[jubbs]

Hi moms

I'm in desperate need for some help.

We recently moved into a new house (5 weeks ago) and with the room situations my 2 boys (4 and 2) went into a shared room with bunk beds. We also recently (2 weeks ago) stopped using the pacifier with my younger one

I know it's been a lot of changes. Especially for the younger one who went from a crib in his own room to sharing a bunk bed with his older brother. And in my mind I gave it a month

But it's been that. And it's not getting better.

Bed time takes me an hr. And that's an hr of me being a drill Sargent and screaming in order to get the younger one to sleep. He wants to get up. See his brother. Play around. Before we stopped the pacifier it was maybe 10-20 min. Now he can't wind himself down. And they feed off each other. One gets hyper so the other does

The older one is ok. He likes to talk himself to sleep. And we are working on stoping that. The bigger issue is the younger one

How do I get him to bed without screaming at him over and over? I hate bed and nap time cause all I do is scream.

Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

What does his routine look like currently? ie bedtime/wake up and naptime and length. Those are some pretty big changes for a lo and especially at an age where they don't yet have a lot of.impulse control - he may know he is supposed to stay in bed but just does not have the skills to do so. What about staggered bedtimes?

[jubbs]

Currently wakes at 730/8. Naps at 130/2. Up at 430. Down at 9. Takes an hr or more to go to sleep.

Staggered I tried. Problem is the younger. So even if the older is asleep. The younger wants to go up and see his brother. Or come out.

I've been trying to sit outside their room for 30 min or so. N just continuously shh them. But then I got up after 30 min to go to the baby and they somehow realized and then I had to go. Yell and get them to sleep.

[MasynSpencerElliotte]

I wonder if it might be time to cap his nap a bit? Am I reading right that you have an infant as well? Do you ever talk to your two year old out of the moment about your expectations with bedtime?  We were having horrid issues with DD3 (low sleep needs so wakes before anyone else in the morning) being super noisy playing in her crib so I had a chat with her about what I expected and how we were all sleeping so she should try to be quiet...amazingly it worked, though I do keep talking to her about it just in case.

[mummyW]

Not sure I'm the best person to give advice (having our own problems) but nap time sounds like it's too long and possibly too late? He's going from 7.30 - 1.30 so 6 hours in the morning but then only 4.30-9.30 so only 5 hours at night. Maybe he's just not that tired come then.

As mse suggested maybe try capping his nap to an hour/ hour and a half. Hugs xx