3 month constant wakings

[LMW26185]

Hello,

Please help! My baby doesn't seem to match any of the case studies I've read.

Positives
- Will go all night with only one feed about midnight or two feeds 11 & 3ish
- Does not need to be rocked, suck, etc to sleep
- Falls straight back to sleep after night feed & nappy change
- Falls asleep easily at 6-7pm after short nighttime routine (bath, milk, cuddle)
- Wakes around 6-7am for the day
- EASY routine during the day works quite well if we have a quiet day at home

What's the problem?
- She stirs every 30-90 minutes, day & night, fussing, yelping & chatting, waving her arms (didn't ever swaddle, wish I had but she's 3 months now so too late I think)
- If left, she will wake up and cry
- If I pick her up, sit quietly with her on my shoulder, she will go straight back to deep sleep - I've become her prop
- She settles with a dummy when I've tried to use it,  but I have to hold it in for her so not sustainable
- Any disruption eg going out, Dad or grandparents, mean she doesn't sleep

All day and night I have to pick her up, hold her quietly upright for 20 mins (I normally read a book or my phone), then set her down and wait for the next waking 30-90 mins later.

Please help me! I don't know where to start with breaking this habit and I'm so so tired.

[lily_layne]

Can you post your routine for me to take a look at? Sometimes it helps to tweak a few timings before trying anything else.

[LMW26185]

Hi - thank you for replying. I've made notes since last night. I'm staying with my parents in a hotter climate than usual & in a different time zone by 1 hr so she is a bit disrupted (might be why she's eating more - thirst?) but this is a rough representation of what our days are like normally anyway except I usually take her out in the sling for her afternoon nap.

Basically I try to get her to sleep 1.5 hrs after waking and formula feed on demand.

Starting last night:

S 19.30

Night wakings: 19.50, 21.30, 23.40, 1.00 (feed), 2.45, 4.30, 5.30 (feed), held to sleep until 8.15

E 1 am (3/4 feed)
E 5.15 (full feed)
A 8.15
E 9 (full feed)
S-CN 10 (held her asleep for 20 mins, then she woke 15 mins after I put her down - tried to get her to go back to sleep but no luck)
A 10.35
E 11.20 (1/2 feed)
S tried from 11.45 - she didn’t sleep until 13.00
E 12.20 (finished off feed from 11.20 & had some extra)
S 13.00 (slept on me - I didn’t want to risk putting her down after her short nap this morning)
A 15.20
E 15.45 (1/2 feed) - did big poo
E 16.15 & 16.45 (finished off feed)
S-CN 17.50 (very late! tried catnap from 16.50 but she wouldn’t sleep so eventually took her out in the pushchair)
A 18.10 - short play, bath
S 19.30 - I hope!!

Any advice would be very much appreciated! I am really bad at jumping in too early to 'save' her even when she's only yelping. Do you think that putting her in the cot during her daytime naps, leaving her to yelp and then only picking her up if she really cries (PU,PD) would be a good start? She's 3 months but was 2.5 weeks early - is it too soon for PU/PD?

I never leave her to cry so I think I would find it really difficult to hear her upset during PU/PD, but if I knew it was the right thing to do and would have a positive outcome I would be willing to try while I have support from my Mum.

Thank you so much for taking the time to help because I am really at the end of my tether with the night wakings.

[lily_layne]

Are you holding her to sleep for every nap? If you are, this could be a prop issue and the NWs could be because she doesn't know how to get back to sleep on her own. She's a bit young for PU/PD yet. Sh/pat would be better for sleep training at this age.

Is she closer to 3 months or to 4 months? What sort of tired signs are you seeing before you take her for a nap? Also, do you think she may have reflux? It can cause frequent wakings.

[LMW26185]

Hi, thanks. Yes I'm absolutely her prop! I don't think its reflux as she doesn't have any other signs and she can sleep comfortably on my lying down as well as upright. She's closer to 3 months do it sounds like she's too young for PU/PD. How should I start sh/pat? Cold turkey day & night or start with daytime naps only? I'm so worried she will just cry and cry and get no sleep :-(

[lily_layne]

I would start sh/pat with whatever you think you can handle. Tracy recommends going all in and doing it for naps and nights but that's a lot - very few people have the stamina for that unless you have a lot of back-up. You could start just with the first nap of the day. If you want to go gradullay, you can start sh/pat in your arms until she's drowsy and then lay her down and continue to pat and shush. After a while, you would start putting her down more awake.  A white noise machine or app can really help with the shushing.