A few general sleep questions

[bouldertc]

Hi fellow BW enthusiasts!

I have an 11 week old baby who is spirited/textbook. He is about 12 pounds and came a week early. I recently read BWSAYP and have been working toward getting my baby on the EASY plan for about three or four weeks now. I have a few general questions for anyone who is willing to help...

1. Night wakings - My baby has slept through the night once (about 9 hours) about a week ago, but aside from that one night, he wakes each night almost exactly 5.5 hours after he goes to sleep. It is usually between 1:00 and 2:30 depending on what time he goes down. We have assumed that he is just hungry and this waking is inevitable at this stage. However, I've seen other people here mention that this type of behavior could be habitual waking. In BWSAYP, Tracy mentions that if he has ever slept a longer stretch at night and then wakes that it is probably a growth spurt. Does anyone more experienced have insight on if this is typical (and we should settle in) or if it's something that can be tweaked?

2. Night time routine - My baby is just okay at taking naps during the day, but we've been managing at least one good nap per day (1.5-2 hours) and a couple short naps per day. By the time evening hits, he's pretty cranky. He consistently goes to sleep between 8:15 and 8:45, but we can see that he is tired much sooner. We've been trying to start the process earlier so he can get to sleep earlier. However, it seems like he has some kind of biological clock that won't let him sleep until his normal bedtime. For example, last night he woke up from his catnap at 5:45 and fed him, then he started acting tired around 7:15 so we promptly started his bedtime routine. He was unhappy so we did what we could to soothe him, but he ultimately didn't fall asleep until 9:15. We use the same routine at night and during the day and each time he needs to go to sleep, but this one (bedtime) always takes substantially longer. We have tried all different awake times and all different times. Does anyone know why he is taking so long to go to sleep at night? Is this normal for his age?

If it would help I can post an example of how one day looks for us... but each day is truly different still since we've taken a while to get him on board with the routine.

Thanks in advance for any help you may be able to offer!

[lily_layne]

First of all, 11 weeks is still quite young and is the age where they just start settling into a predictable routine so don't sweat it if each day is different. Things will likely even out on their own in the coming weeks. Also, one good nap and a few short naps is pretty normal at that age.

NWs - A 5.5 hour stretch is decent and you are right that it is likely hunger and is normal for this stage. If he only ever did the 9 hours once, I wouldn't think the 5.5 is a growth spurt - it's just when he's hungry. It is frustrating though when you keep waiting for him to repeat that deliciously long stretch, isn't it?

BT - My DD had trouble settling at BT for ages. Looking back, I think it may have been that we were just missing the sleep window but it also just could have been the way she is (since at 3, she still takes an hour to settle). It is normal for babies to settle easier for naps than they do for nights (or vice versa) as day sleep and night sleep are controlled by different parts of the brain. DD went to sleep independently for naps long before she did at BT.

[bouldertc]

Thanks for the reply! I have another question now as we're trying so hard to sort out the sleep issues and feeling like the progress is very slow.

I know what the tired cues are and I'm able to identify them. However, it seems that when I jump to start nap time after seeing the first yawn or eye rub, then he is not tired enough to to sleep and ends up protesting. But if I wait until, say, the third yawn, then swaddling him up puts him completely over the edge and he screams terribly. Our sleep routine includes a diaper change, swaddle, closing curtains, turning on white noise, and doing a sitting shh-pat until drowsy. Does this sound like too much? Sometimes it seems like I catch the right sleepy time but then the sleep routine gets him worked up. So, I guess the question is, can anyone be more specific about exactly when to start the sleep routine to make sure it doesn't land him in the overtired zone?

Thanks!

[lily_layne]

It really depends on the LO for when to start winding down. My DD did best with a very short wind down - swaddle, very quick cuddle and then down. She always was easier to settle in her crib than in my arms. She often went from screaming to asleep. At 3 months, it was rare for her to not scream and cry before sleeping. DS had a larger sleep window and like a longer wind down and there was less screaming.

Have you taken the Know Your Baby Quiz to find out if he's spirited, textbook, angel or touchy?

[bouldertc]

 Yes, I took the quiz and he is spirited with some textbook. He goes from perfectly happy to screaming in just seconds at times! So, I think he's particularly sensitive to the sleep window. Do you have any suggestions based on his temperament? Thanks so much for your help!!

[lily_layne]

He goes from perfectly happy to screaming in just seconds at times!

Sounds like a typical spirited baby! Spirited babies do have very narrow sleep windows so don't be too hard on yourself. I would also just try to accept that, for now, going to sleep will likely involve screaming. Your wind down sounds fine for a spirited LO. The only change you might try is seeing if he settles easier with a sh/pat in his crib. Some babies like their space. You could also keep an eye on the clock to see how long he's awake before he yawns and then next time, aim to start your wind down before the first yawn (so if he yawns at 1h30, try starting your wind down at 1h20).