Author Topic: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!  (Read 943 times)

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Offline melloyello

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Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« on: October 21, 2015, 13:49:18 pm »
Hi there,

Not sure if I should post this here or under Naps?

Our third child is 12 days old and just in the last couple of days I am noticing some things that I am hoping to get some advice/feedback on. He was very very sleepy for his first week but is starting to "wake up" a bit (normal, I know).

I am trying to start off on the right foot and have him fall asleep independently when possible, although this definitely doesn't always happen. But here's the thing... I will often put him down in his bassinet for a nap after sitting with him (he is swaddled) for a few minutes and he seems very calm and sleepy, his eyes might even be closed, and I think - great, he's going to sleep! - only to check on him 30 min later and he is laying there wide awake! He might fuss for a few seconds here and there but for the most part he just lays there awake! This morning I finally went in and picked him up after 45 min and he fell asleep in my arms because I was afraid of him getting overtired. We don't have a super consistent routine at this point as he's so little, but I try and get him down after about 40 min of A time. He often dozes while nursing though (which takes about 30 min) so I wonder if this could be part of the problem - like it's not really a full A time? Sometimes it can be almost 2 hours before he finally falls asleep, but like I said, he's not upset, just awake!

He also seems to be a very oral baby, always looking to suck on something even when he's not hungry. He likes the pacifier although I've really been trying to avoid using it for naps for fear he will only be able to fall asleep with it and then wake up looking for it. So far we just give it to him in the evenings when he is a bit fussy.  My first son had a paci but my daughter did not and she was always a way better sleeper because of it (I think).  Anyway, I think if I gave him the paci for naps he would probably drop off a lot quicker but am not sure I want to go down that road.

If anyone has anyone suggestions, I would really appreciate it!  :)

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2015, 05:55:16 am »
Hi Hon! Can I ask some questions before?
So what do you mean by A time of 40min? He is awake at 7am let's say and he eats until 7:30 and you put him down 7:40? Or you mean he is up until 8:10 (30min nursing and 40 min A time?

What temperament is he? How do you think? Angel baby:)?
~Marta

Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2015, 12:27:31 pm »
Hi, thanks for replying!  :)

I try to put him down after about 40 min A time total (30 min eating, 10 min of just being awake) although he often takes longer to settle (not fussing, just awake) so it can end up being more like 1 hr-1 hr 15 min.

I think that yes, he might be an angel or textbook baby. He's very content and only really cries when hungry or a bit during fussy evening hours if not being held.
« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 12:46:16 pm by melloyello »

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2015, 17:03:02 pm »
And what happens when he falls asleep after 1-1:15? Is he sleeping 1-2h?

If he is not crying when settling it's great:). A newborn A times can also be longer than 30-40min Honey.
~Marta

Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2015, 18:08:23 pm »
Yes, he usually sleeps 1-2 hours although sometimes he will cry out and squirm and occasionally sometime during his nap and I have to pick him up and resettle.

He doesn't always drop off to sleep though, he sometimes will get upset after 30 min of lying there quietly and I'll have to go in and hold him for a bit at which point he'll usually fall asleep.

I guess I'm just struggling to find the right A time for him. If he's alert but not fussy does that mean he's not tired? That's usually what he's like in the morning but then other times of day he wants to go right back to sheep after eating. I guess this is just normal newborn behaviour?

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2015, 20:04:06 pm »
This is also typical Honey. Some babies just peek one longer A during day and all others are very sleepy:). I would use the occasion in the morning when he is alert and try to put him a bit later so not after 30-40min but more like 1.15-1.20 and that's fine that other As are short.
~Marta

Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2015, 14:38:33 pm »
Hi again, I'm back! DS is now 3.5 weeks and we are still having this issue with long A times settling to sleep, mainly for his first nap of the day and the 4th nap. The thing is he generally doesn't fuss, just lays there and looks around and squirms a bit, sometimes he will drift off and then wake up, sleep, then wake etc. This can go on for an hour or more until he finally falls asleep, making his A time about 2 hours because I try and put him down after an hour, aiming to have him asleep for 1 hr 10-15 min. The mornings are tough because I am getting my two older children ready for school so 1 hour is about the shortest A time I can do. He may be getting overstimulated as well with all the morning activity going on around him. For the 4th nap I eventually just put him in the sling and he will fall asleep there because he can be awake in the crib, swing for ages!

So i'm not sure if I have his A times wrong (although he generally sleeps well with 1 hour A time for the second and third nap) and if I should just pick him up and help him to sleep after a certain length of time? I hate to mess with him if he is learning to fall asleep independently, but I know he must be getting OT as he will sometimes just have a short nap, I think because of the long A time until he finally falls asleep. Of course my husband thinks if he is not crying and content to just let him be and not worry about it ;)

His nights are about as good as I would hope for a 3 week old with a DF at 10:00 and then a NF around 1:30-2am, wake at 6:30-7am, although sometimes we have a second NF around 5:30.

Any thoughts?

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2015, 08:39:37 am »
Sorry Honey for so late reply but your post just got missed - don't know how!
Should i help still? Are the problems/questions still valid?
~Marta

Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2015, 13:15:27 pm »
Thanks.

He goes seem to be settling a bit quicker for naps now although the first morning nap still often gives us trouble. He will often lay there for awhile and then start crying. If I go in and pick him up fora minute he is usually fine. This nap is often short though, anywhere from 30 min to 1hr15 min. It's pretty inconsistent.

But he is settling to sleep on his own most times so that's a success I think!

The one question I do have is about his nights. He pretty much wakes up after 3 hours like clockwork. So dream feed at 10:00ish, wakes at 1:15, 4:30 and then 7-7:30 for the day. Is it possible that waking and feeding him every 3 hours during the day has just conditioned him to wake up at night too? He's not all that hungry when he wakes at night and it's hard to keep him awake for more than a few minutes. I'm ok with feeding him 2x at night (in addition to the dreamfeed) but just wonder if he should be doing a longer stretch at this point. He has a couple times done 4-4.5 hours but not for a couple weeks.

Any thoughts?

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2015, 21:24:41 pm »
I would say that he still may need 3 feeds at night but at 1mo he could be doing one longer stretch like 4-4.5. What you may think of if resigning from dreamfeed and see if he still sleep till 1 or midnight. And than reintroduce once again when he will go back to 1-2 feeds at night - that way you will be sure 1-2 feeds per night is enough for him so it's easier to push for dreamfeed.
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Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2015, 02:08:32 am »
Yes, thank you, I had wondered about that, whether the dream feed could be interrupting his longer stretch. I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean about when to reintroduce it though?

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2015, 06:46:08 am »
:) sorry. I meant that now you have 3 feeds per night. And you don't know if he wakes because of a habit or he is truly hungry. 1-2am window is often a window of hunger so they tend to wake at this time of a night if they didn't get quite enough calories during day no matter when their last feed was, when at 10-11pm even if they are hungry they could sleep through as usually after 12h day they are really really tired.
So I think that maybe with dreamfeed skipped, he still wakes at 1-2am and you will be able to go to 2 feeds per night. When he is a tad older and at every daytime feed he will eat more, you may think of reintroducing the dreamfeed. With increased amount of milk and dreamfeed he may be ready to go through that 1-2am hunger window and will wake again around 4-5am.

I introduced dreamfeed at 3mo when we had one feed per night at 4/5am and he managed to finally sleep through till 7am with dreamfeed at 11pm.
~Marta

Offline melloyello

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2015, 19:39:59 pm »
Ah, ok, that makes a lot of sense! Thank you!

I put him down after a top-up feed at 8:30 last night (skipped the dreamfeed) he slept till almost 2am when I fed him and then he slept till 6am when I fed him on one side and put him back down till 7:30. That's the longest stretch he has done yet so I think I will continue with skipping the dreamfeed for now in hopes of encouraging those longer stretches since I was feeding 2x/night even with the dreamfeed!

Thanks so much for your help!

Offline Martini~

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Re: Newborn lays awake not fussing but not sleeping!
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2015, 21:28:42 pm »
Keeping fingers crossed:)! I have to say that with all the benefits of dreamfeed (and I used it for 3 months), lasting be till 10-11pm to dreamfeed was the most devastating in these early days, LOL:). So if it's not helping definitely skip it and maybe try to reintroduce later!
~Marta