How to handle EWs in 3.5 year old due to 1-0 transition

[jennfullwood]

Hello moms,

It's been a long time since I posted in these threads as my LO is now 3.5 years old and we've had a good stint of sleeping until this dreaded 1-0 nap transition, but I'm hoping some experienced moms can take a look at our schedule. We've been in an UT/OT cycle for the past 6 months now trying to get ourselves through this last nap transition. I have baby #2 due in 11 weeks and would really love to finally tweak my 3.5 year old's schedule before the new baby comes.

He started refusing the nap before his 3rd birthday. I have tried many times since then to drop the nap completely with a very early BT ( 6:00pm), but we get super long NWs (1-3 hours) where he can't resettle until he finally crashes after a few hours and then wakes very early. Then he would want to take 2 and 3 hour naps during the day to catch up.

I've also tried moving nap earlier, later, and capping nap. He seems to still need a short nap, as my last attempt at dropping nap completely about 2 weeks ago still lead to a 3 hour NW.

What I've been doing that seems to work for a few days at a time, is allowing him to take a 1 hour nap around noon (WU around 6 or 6:30am) and then capping it. What is still happening is a lot of flopping at bedtime not wanting to go to bed. I try to put him to bed around 7:30 - but it's usually more like 8:30-9 before he will go to sleep and then will have an EW at 6am.

The past 3 days have looked like this:

Wake - 6am -6:30
Nap - 12-1
Bed - 7-8 ( but not going to sleep until 8:30-9:30pm)

The first 24 hour period went well - 12 hours sleep total and he was able to transfer day time sleep to night. The second day was a lot of flopping around at BT so he fell asleep later (UT?) with an EW the next morning and around 11 hrs sleep total for the day. The 3rd day I decided to cap the nap at 45 minutes hoping to get an BT of no later than 8pm, but he still flopped until 9:30 and then woke at 7am, so less than 10 hours total. This morning he is cranky and I can tell the shorter nights are taking a toll. If I were to continue this, I would begin getting the NWs that would become progressively longer. This is the point where I would normally give him a long catch up nap during the day. I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do or not as I feel it keeps us in this UT/OT loop even more so??

Would any of you have any advice on what I should do at this point?

Thank you so much for your input.

[jennfullwood]

I went ahead and put him down for a nap today at 12:30pm and he's still sleeping and it's now after 2:00pm, so another long catch up nap from the shorter nights. I will add that when I let him take these naps, he does have to go to bed much later (usually, unless very tired), but it does allow him more total sleep in a 24 hour period. Sometimes though, after a long nap day, he will wake extremely early, even when he clearly needed the catch-up sleep - we've had several 4:30am WUs.

I'm confused as to why is he is getting so OT after a few days of capped 1 hour naps, since he's delaying bedtime on those days you would think he is UT, unless he is actually OT at bedtime? He has always been more on the high sleep needs side and has always been very sensitive to getting OT, but we've been struggling with this transition for so long now and it seems either direction (offering more or less daytime sleep) seems to cause NWs and EWs either way. I keep going back and forth in my mind whether he is UT or OT and it's so confusing. Any input? Thank you!

[jennfullwood]

OK, maybe I'll just keep updating here for a few more days and see if anyone might have some input.

My 3.5 year old ended up taking a 1 hr 45 minute nap yesterday when I decided not to cap it due to the shorter nights starting again (with capped naps) and wanting to avoid OT, but I couldn't get him to sleep until 9:45pm last night. He did sleep till 7am, but had a NW around 2am and was able to resettle himself - so total overall yesterday was 11 hours sleep, so he was able to add back some sleep with the uncapped nap. But, I can't put him to bed every night that late! And ideally he needs more around 12 hrs total I think? He averages 10-11.

So if I go back to capping his naps (I capped at 45 minutes today and he was really difficult to wake up), does anyone have any advice for a proper BT as not to make him OT or UT? I just can't seem to find the right combination of awake times to get him a good nights rest. His usual WU is between 6 and 6:30 - sometimes can be earlier. I try for BT around 7-7:30 on the days he has capped naps, but lately he stalls at BT until much later. Then begins EW and shortening his nights again and we are OT all over again. And just a reminder - completely dropping the nap and going with EBT of 6 or 6:30pm results in huge long NWs of 2-3 hours where he can't resettle.

[Haribo2012]

Hi, I'd think you're in an OT/UT loop Hun, I'd prob try getting that nap dropped or really capped.
My DS is 3.5 and we've been no nap for a good 6 months reliably but before then 20 mins was the Magic CN time and he woke quite happy from that.

Most LO need a really short day when no nap starts so 11/11.5 hours. I found with my DS I had to pretty much do no nap or we got silly late BT or long NW.

[jennfullwood]

Thank you for replying! I appreciate it.

I agree with you - I just wish I could drop the nap completely. Every time I try, I get 3 hour NWs and it spins us out of control again. I haven't tried that short of a day though - 11 hours. I've done 11.5, so maybe I'll try for 11. It's so early though when his WU is 6 or 6:30 you know. He would never see his dad as he doesn't get home from work until 6:30. But that may be what I have to do for a time.

Although today he was just plain OT. I capped his nap at 45 (had him up by 1:45pm) and he would hardly wake up. Took me 30 minutes to pry him from his bed. He was wired by 5:30pm this afternoon. I actually tried putting him back to bed at 6pm and he went right to sleep with no fussing...but he popped back up awake 10 min after I left and then it took him to 7:30 to settle to sleep again - but he was trying to go to sleep that entire time...it's just like his little body is wired and he couldn't be still. Still 7:30 is much better than 9 and 9:30pm...so I'm thinking all of this hyper playing and stalling before bed has been OT too, especially on the days I have capped his nap (I say that too because his nights progressively get shorter with the capped naps). He has always become OT very easily, but I thought at some time he would outgrow it some.

This is why I have struggled so much with this, because I know most LOs his age have dropped the nap and so I have tried almost to force him out of the naps at times and it always seems to backfire on me. Once he gets several long catch up naps in and he sleeps longer nights, then he starts refusing the naps again. When I get to that point again, I think I'll try the 11 hour day without a nap and see how we do with that.

[Haribo2012]

Can you try a strategic walk or drive and let him have 20 mins CN it was honestly the best compromise for us, DS used to wake up happy and was just enough to cut out OT, then BT no later than 12 hours from WU.?

Yeah we get manic hyper over excited behaviour with OT and can take DS ages to chill out. You might find a couple of early nights and then you can move BT by 15 mins etc. It's hard as nap starts to rob from night but then they go so tired the nap helps but then u just end up in a circle.

Hope you had a good night x