Hates shush/pat!

[Coralp]

Hi there,

Just starting to sleep train my 9 week old bubba after successfully sleep training my eldest 3 years ago!

Firstly, she's a tummy sleeper like her big sister ( we have a sensor mat) and generally a very grumpy baby, she cries most of her waking time and the only way she doesn't is being rocked and jiggled - while you pace!! If you dare sit down she'll scream! Also, when overtired she has been known to resist sleep for 8 hours!!!

Anyway, enough back story.

Since starting 3 days ago nothing is working as it should.  I take her upstairs, close curtains and put her in grow bag (can't swaddle as tunny sleeper and she likes to suck on her hands). I can't sit with her as she gets worked up (not a way to relax her!) so stand and rock her with white noise until she closes her eyes and STARTS to drift off. I then pop her in her cot and she starts crying, I start to shush/pat and she just gets more and more worked up until I have to pick her up and start again. The trouble is it then gets harder and harder to relax her again and she gets overtired so I have to resort to rocking her fully to sleep again, just so she gets some sleep to hopefully start again at the next nap.  The constant rocking is KILLING my back and arms and often drives me to tears (along with the frustration!).

Example day

5:30 am wake - bf in dark and put back down
6:30-7 wake up, bf in light, wash, dress, drop off eldest
8am - put back down, rock to doze, then shush/pat to sleep by 8:30
10am - wake her up, bf, often starts to fall asleep, I change her nappy which wakes her again then she's alert and smiley
10:45 - start bed routine again, rock to doze, cries to scream every time I try to shush pat
11:45 - resort to rocking to sleep
12:15 - wakes, refuses to re-settle
12:45 - bf, then straight up for bedtime routine, rock to sleep, cries to scream at shush pat
13:30 - resort to rock to sleep but doesn't work - overtired
16:30 - give up, go for walk in hope of a nap, get maybe 10-15 mins
17:30/18:00 bf, pick up eldest, bath them put eldest to bed
18:30 - bf, and start rocking to sleep, due to over tiredness she could be settled by 19:30 or 21:30!
00:00 - bf to sleep
15:00 - bf to sleep (nappy change in dark)

As you can see, a complete car crash!!! 

Can anyone offer any advice? My eldest was being put down awake after 3 (hellish) days but Emily's need for movement is perhaps hindering us?

Oh, and she doesn't have reflux, bf's to over feeding in about 10 mins, is over 13lbs at 9 weeks and was born at 41 weeks, natural birth

Thank you!!!!

Coral

[Emami]

Hugs hun, those early weeks can be so tough.  It sounds like  she has a hard time switching off and is getting OS and OT.  You mentioned using white noise, but something else that might help is black outs to avoid any visual distractions.

Do you have a sling or carrier you could put her in? It would free up your arms and she might settle being cuddled close to you. You could also get things done around the house, go for a walk, etc and just get a break from shushing a crying baby for hours on end.  She might be too little still for sleep training, and really still need that closeness. I would persevere with the first nap at home since that one is working, but after that just try to get some sleep into her and a break for yourself. There's plenty of time to work on independent sleep when she's ready for it. I know Tracy says to start as you mean to go on, but a lot of mums here have found it easier to start later, especially when you have older kids too.

[lily_layne]

I agree with everything Emma said! My second LO had lots of sling, swing and stroller naps (and often nursed to sleep) and it didn't interfere with him learning how to sleep independently when he was older.

[brittanyalice]

In the exact same situation. 9weeks old yesterday, and i would consider her a grumpy baby too. We do swaddle and have had to get the silent reflux under control. Is there any chance she may have reflux? If not we now swaddle place in bassinet with paci. She will suck on paci and then spit it out. Then starts working herself up into a screaming mess. (I do not re paci bc it becomes a vicious cycle) So instead of doing shh/pat I just place a hand on her back and wait. 1st day was a little rough but 2nd day long took 3min of mantra crying which escalated for 10sec or so and then off to sleep. I do have to place my hand on her back mid nap occasionally but as soon as she is calm I leave the room. Some babies just need space I think