Totally confused on what to do

[haleytreat]

I have a 19 week old who we just started a routine last wednesday. things we're going pretty good until about 2 days ago. I am confused at what i should be doing as far as the routine goes. If she wakes in the middle of the night she will put herself back to sleep. Sometimes I have to wake her at 7 and other times she gets up between 6-7. She is hungry so I am understanding that pupd won't work and I need to feed her. She will take a full bottle. So my question is when she wakes at 6 and i feed her how do i extend the day? Because if she goes down early won't she then just wake up every day early? And what happens if she wakes at 5 and is hungry? Is she just up for the day at 5? I am trying to follow the routine that was in the book

7 E
9 S
11 E
1 S
3 E
5 cn
7 E
730 bed

This weekend she started only taking 1.5 hour naps and its been hard to adjust the routine to compensate for the short nap. If i try to keep her up its a disaster to put her to bed. and because of that i am confused at how the routine will work when she is constantly being OT trying to keep with the routine timeline. But if i put her to bed early again, won't that mean she will just get up earlier the next day?

[haleytreat]

Also, when she is very OT she sometimes will not go to sleep with the shush pat or pupd. so then she will be even more tired the for the next nap. So what am I suppose to do in that case? Knowing she is OT should i try to rock her a little? Or is that just giving in?

[lauradj]

Hi there!  Welcome to the BW community 
With regards to the EW's, I think you need to choose a time you're willing to accept as wake up time and what qualifies as an EW.  For me, generally my boys sleep until 6:30/7am.  I hate waking up early but really, they've been asleep for 12hrs, they're all topped up on sleep.  I would treat the 5am wake up as an EW and if she's hungry, give her a bottle.  You could make it a smaller one than usual if you're worried about it affecting her 7am bottle.
I followed the routines in the book mostly for DS1, for DS2 I modified it a bit to suit our family.  I did cluster feeds at 4 and 6 until DS2 was on three solids meals a day and I keep my boys on a 7-7 schedule (the wake up is negotiable, bed time is not)
Try not to focus on rigidly following the specific routine in the book.  The whole premise of BW is that you learn to read your child.  My DS2 can usually stay awake for 3hrs but there are some days when he's rubbing his eyes at 2.5hr and so I lay him down for his nap early.  I generally find when I do that, the nap is not negatively affect.  If anything, he naps a little longer because he's not waking from OT. 
I don't consider helping your baby relax 'giving in'.  Your baby looks to you for comfort and if she needs a little help winding down, so be it.  Maybe you could just incorporate that into your wind down routine?  For us, wind down is pretty quick.  Into the sleep sack, one story (if that), a little cuddle and then into bed.  DS1 liked to take a little longer so just consider whether your baby needs a little more time to relax, or perhaps you're taking too long.  It can take a bit of figuring out. 

[haleytreat]

thank you so much! This will help me a lot!

[haleytreat]

Am I the only one who finds all this stressful? Maybe its because I started so late with regards to the routine or maybe its because having a baby (she is my first  ) is really tough on me as I like things to be planned out for the day.  when she doesn't stay on the routine it really throws me all off. I also am finding that the fact there are a million ways to do things is frustrating….I want someone to say this is what you do so I don't keep guessing, "am I doing this right? Am I suppose to do this or that"! 

Part of me doesn't want a set schedule because I don't want her to be so type A, obviously like me! ha! But man, why can't she just get up when she is suppose to and sleep for the required nap time!! LOL!!

We are on week 2 of her routine. Last week she did really well, woke up at 7 or I had to wake her. Since monday she has been getting up at 5. Monday she wouldn't go back to sleep so I fed her and started the day at 5. It was hard! I felt we were both off. T W and today she went back to sleep after I gave her the paci.  Today when i fed her at 715 she only took 4 ounces. GRRR! (I get stressed out when she doesn't eat at least 6 because then i worry if it will affect her naps - i am learning i might have an anxiety problem! Lol!) But maybe it was because i tried the tanking up last night with feeding her at 6,9,11. I am going to wait this 5 am thing out to see once she learns that we aren't getting up at 5 she will just automatically sleep till 7. I try to put her to bed around 715/730. She usually doesn't fall asleep till 745. 

Maybe i don't really have a question and just venting, i don't know anymore! LOL!

[haleytreat]

I get anxiety when she doesn't follow the routine or we get off track because then I have to figure out how much A time I have to compensate for short naps and what time should I put her to bed and stuff like that. i am SURE i make this all way more difficult than it needs to be! ha!

[lauradj]

Totally normal, at least from my perspective  .  My DH actually hid all my BW books for the first month and wouldn't let me near them until I chilled out a bit.  He's a smart man.  I was SO regimented it was a little ridiculous. 
It's also likely because this is your first kid.  If you have a second, my guess is you will be a lot more relaxed because you have no time to worry about all the little details. 

[haleytreat]

very true

[Alternamama]

Hi there I can't really help you because I'm in the same  boat as you .
 However I think I might be worse off because I ended up cosleeping by default and now he has a very strong nurse to sleep association and the fear of his crib so it's very hard for me to implement this method
 However I am very much like you in the overthinking and over analysis and the anxiety .  I'm also bad at math  so this routine thing is not that easy ha ha

 However all I can say is  that kids are not robots and we have to learn how to read them and be flexible this is probably our greatest lesson for us type A's !  We have to learn to use your intuition more.  I'm still having trouble figuring out what to do because I'm not listening to my own inner guidance .  The more I read the more confused I get!
 

[haleytreat]

Me too. Its like all i am doing is reading! LOL!