Can you help me gently sleep train?

[becj86]

3h awake is a real stretch for him and he is difficult to settle at nap and bedtime

Yeah, it will be a stretch, definitely worth getting on top of it though. As he gets better nights and his naps lengthen again, it will be easier.

What is the most reliable BT you're able to do? You may have to try to shift your WU later as the long days are probably part of the issue with BT screaming.

Also, if he's not upset at a NW, don't feel pressure to do anything. Unless he's crying for you, just leave him - that's how these props get really entrenched.

[4isstillnighttime]

The earliest I could get him to bed is 6:30. And that would mean rushing back from nursery, dumping the twins in front of the tv, dashing upstairs and putting him down. I could do it....

Yesterday's EASY

WU 5, fed back to sleep and dozed until 6
S 9-10:30 (resettled at 30 mins)
S 1:30 - 4 (quick resettle at 30 mins, long one at 1:15)
BT 7, fell asleep about 7:30 (needed patting)
NW 10 (quick resettle), 1 (fed), 3:30 (fed)
WU 5 - I just left him and he played in his cot for 45 mins then started crying but wouldn't go to sleep so got him up.

We have just limped through to 8 for first nap and he is asleep. The trouble is I have to do the nursery run Mon-Wed - it's a bit flexible but somewhere between 7:45 and 8:30. 10 min drive there, 5 mins to drop kids, 5 mins back (no traffic). He will sleep in the car but he doesn't like it and has never done more than 45 mins, even if I keep driving around.

I'm sure the night feeds are getting to be a bit of a prop. He had a good feed at 1 (both sides, back to bed awake, settled with shh pat) but at 3:30 it was a bit of a token effort.

I'm sorry this is turning into such an epic!!

[becj86]

Oh, this is a great opportunity to do 'transfer training' I trained DS to transfer from car to bed and then sleep. He had to be an independent sleeper and it only really worked for his cot at home but it was a godsend when he fell asleep in the car. I did a sort of shush/pat from car to bed and then put him down and kept patting til he'd settled again and slowly reduced the assistance.

If BT is going to be more like 7 or 7:30 which seems more realistic, its probably important to get him to sleep a bit later in the morning. Ideally he shouldn't have more than a 13hr day, so 11hr minimum night at this age.

WRT feeds, 2 NF at this age is well within the realms of normal but you could look at resettling with shush/pat if he's not been 4hr between feeds. He can do that in the day, right? So he should be able to at night too.

[4isstillnighttime]

Wow, that would be amazing if I could transfer him!! I'll give it a shot on Monday.

He can easily do 4 hours in the day but often doesn't as I tend to feed him when I have a quiet moment! So maybe I need to work on that a bit too. When he was on a strict EASY he lost weight as he is tongue tied and feeding is quite hard work for him - tends to take one side then the other about 20 mins later. But I generally don't feed too after midnight so he is going at least 5 hours then.

So....my plan for the next few days (although we are at another wedding tomorrow....)

3h A
Resettle naps aiming for 2h? I resettled him this morning at 1:15 and he is still going strong.
Try and shhhh pat that 3am feed (if he has had a good feed at 1 - will have to set an alarm to stop myself just going back to sleep!)

I would ideally have a 6am WU - that's what the twins are doing now so would work for us quite well. And a 6:30 or 7 BT - they could all have a bath then twins have stories while baby settles then half an hour "big kid" time before their BT. How do I get it later though??

[becj86]

With a 6am WU then BT of 6:30/7 is fine.

Resettle naps aiming for >1.5hr though 2hr is nice

Looks like a sound plan, best of luck.