Can you help me gently sleep train?

[4isstillnighttime]

Ok, routine for sleep is:

Nap time (sling) - kiss, tuck head in.

Nap time (cot) - clean nappy, sleeping bag, cuddle, lie down awake, dummy. I kind of hold the dummy in with the heel of my hand and stroke his forehead. If he cries I put my cheek right next to his and shh. If he cries with that I pat his chest. If he still cries (this hardly ever happens) I pick him up and cuddle him til he stops crying and looks drowsy then put him down awake again.

Bedtime is the usual plus a last feed on my bed. If I have timed it well he will not fall asleep but he often does. I wake him, sing him a little song and put him down as for a nap. Last night he was wide awake, I had to go to the twins and when I came back he was asleep, dummy was nowhere to be seen. So he can do it!!

To extend his nap today I went upstairs at 30 mins in case he was OT. At 45 he started writhing around so I popped the dummy back in, covered his eyes, shhd. I did that for 15 mins - he kept looking like he was asleep then waking again - this is what he does during his long NW too. In the end one of the twins started shouting for me at the stairgate and then I had to go and he woke up. I remember extending naps with the twins but this is what I did with them and I think it worked most of the time!

[becj86]

So he can do it!!

This is good, he has the skill and is comfortable in the cot, just needs to transfer that skill to a slightly different situation.

To extend his nap today I went upstairs at 30 mins in case he was OT. At 45 he started writhing around so I popped the dummy back in, covered his eyes, shhd. I did that for 15 mins - he kept looking like he was asleep then waking again - this is what he does during his long NW too

So, not OT, that's good - he may benefit from a tiny additional amount of A time, say 5 or 10min. He knew he was supposed to go back to sleep, wanted to go back to sleep, so your A time there is close. TBH, I found OT waking much easier to resettle than UT. Stick with it and he will learn eventually. It is hard, especially with twin toddlers around. DYT white noise would help so he's not hearing the twins playing?

[4isstillnighttime]

He was up at 4 this morning  so I put him down at 6:45 and he has slept 1:30 and counting. Should I just carry on a 2:45 for the rest of the day? We have a big family party tonight so he is going to have to be put to bed in the car seat, not ideal....

[4isstillnighttime]

So annoying - the baby over the road is about the same age and she doesn't get up til 10! I will have been up for 6 hours by then!!

[becj86]

Is that in the cot? If so, I'd stick with 2:45 and see how it goes. Life has to go on, it's never going to be perfect.

So annoying - the baby over the road is about the same age and she doesn't get up til 10! I will have been up for 6 hours by then!!

Yeah, that must be really annoying!

[4isstillnighttime]

Yes, in the cot!!!

Has backfired a bit because when I went to check on him his was awake and playing so I didn't know when he woke up. So I guessed and got an UT 45 min nap so obviously guessed wrong! Still, onwards and upwards, and I will try for as close to 2:45 as I can now.

Thanks again for the help and the moral support!!

[becj86]

All good We live and learn.

How was that for gentle sleep training?

[4isstillnighttime]

Can I pick your brains again? I am getting good naps with 2:45 A but nights are still a bit of a nightmare. Lots and lots of NW and EW every morning. I am worried he is OT as he looks quite knackered but he is a happy little soul so still smiling!

Yesterday's EASY

WU 5, fed back to sleep til 6 but woke up if unlatche
S 8:45 - 10:10
S 12:50 - 2:15
S 5-5:30
BT 7:15 but didn't go to sleep for ages - prob 7:50
NW 10, 11 (fed), 1, 2 (fed), 4, 5 (fed but didn't go back to sleep)

This is pretty much how the last 4 days have been. I am wondering if the CN is too long, or if I need a later BT, or if I need a longer A.....it is a massive struggle getting him out to 2:45 though. I think 2 NF is v reasonable and I'm not looking to night wean, but it's all the other wakings and particularly waking at 5 and singing loudly!! The twins are poorly and are up all night so I could really do with the baby sleeping better 

Thanks! And also thanks for helping me avoid sleep training altogether!!

[becj86]

Can you update me on his age? Could be he's UT and needing more A time by the sounds of that 5am waking given BT of 7:15. That first nap is shrinking to just under 1.5hr too, another clue it could be time for an increase to 3hr.

Teething? Coming down with a cold or some such? Waking every hour smacks of discomfort, sorry to say

I realise its probably hard to get that first A time out of him given the broken night but its also the only way the night will become more solid.

[4isstillnighttime]

He is 23 weeks. I pushed for 3 hours A this morning, didn't quite get there but will keep trying. He could def be teething as he is v bitey but I don't see teeth...perhaps I will give him some calpol tonight and see if it helps. The twins were MISERABLE when they were teething but he is such a happy soul maybe he is and doesn't like to complain 

 I'll push the A times a bit then and see if it helps.

[becj86]

Yeah, DS when teething just got bitey, ran slightly hotter than usual (37.1 vs 36.5) and woke FREQUENTLY.

FX that works for you

[4isstillnighttime]

Well, twin 1 is very poorly so I was up all night with him and def disturbed the baby. But here was our EASY from yesterday...

WU 5
S 7:45 - 9
S 12-1:15, still looked tired so resettled (took 15 mins) and slept til 2:30
S 5:30-6 in the car on the way to the doctor for my poorly boy
BT 8 (back from doctors)
NW 1 (fed), 3 (fed), 5(fed(
WU 6

I popped him down at 9, took 10 mins to settle and I had to resettle at 30 mins....but still going at 1:15. Shall I just persevere and hope the nights fall into place?

[4isstillnighttime]

I spoke too soon - up at 1:15. Looks tired but couldn't resettle. I'll do another 3h awake (he has been up for an hour and is rubbing his eyes already!) and hopefully get a longer nap this time.

[becj86]

Is he waking with any discomfort/squirming at those 3am and 5am wakings? Remind me is he breastfeed?

Yes, I think if you keep going with that increase to 3hr, it will help. See how that first nap is shrinking further - was 1:25, now 1:15 both off 2:45 A time - that's the clue that he needs more A time.

[4isstillnighttime]

That's the annoying thing - no discomfort, no squirming, not even really crying! Just....awake!! Whimpering a bit I suppose but the 5am one I think he would v happily just get up! I only feed him in a desperate attempt not to start my day then!! Yes he is breastfed, and at night wakings he usually feeds to sleep.

He did another mammoth nap for his second nap today - 2:30 but resettled at 30 mins (easily) and again at 1:15 - difficult, took about 20 mins. But he looks fantastic for it! I think the 3h awake is a real stretch for him and he is difficult to settle at nap and bedtime now as he is screaming with tiredness....but I guess I have to persevere and he will get used to it....