12mo bit of a mess... Night feed still and now 5am wu

[Spandanna]

hi there

I was so hoping that with baby no3 I would have it Sussed but here I am again with the 5am wake ups only wih DS he is also taking a bottle at about 3.30! I know I shouldn't run to him at his first wake up but don't want the other two to wake up as they are hideously over tired themselves at the moment from DS' waking.

It's difficult to give an exact routine as he doesn't sleep for a consistent length at his first nap so sometimes he has a second nap and sometimes he doesn't. I aim for about 3.5h A time in the morning. Usually he will sleep for at least an hour and occasionally up to 2.5h like yesterday. But because of early wu I squeezed in a second catnap in the car so the day looked like this...
A 5am
Nap 1- 8.30-10.50
Catnap in car 4.20-4.50
Bed 7.15
Awake 3am - gave bottle
Woke at 4.40 but resettled himself
Awake for the day 5.15

The other two woke at 5.30 every day for months when they were babies but that was always after a solid night from7pm. Am at a loss and totally exhausted. He has a dummy, well, he settles at bedtime without one.... Up until recently when he woke in the night he would take a dummy and resettle. Or if he woke early we could give him the dummy and he would play quietly in his cot for half an hour hen we would get him up at 6 but he's a very 'bad teether' and every time we have a bout of teething (and last weekend this combined with a nasty cough and cold) it sets us back massively!!! Any help gratefully received

Thanks ladies

Very tired mummy

[sparklewings1984]

Hi Spandanna,

I have a 13 month old and for us, any early WU in the morning stems from the first A time being too short. My LO can cope with about 4.5-5 hours first A now, have you tried longer? He does always seem tired at about 3-3.5 hours,  but if I distract him with some more playtime he gets past it. I then give a snack before he has a good 2 hour nap. Our day goes something like:

WU 7am
E 7.15am 8oz milk
E 8.30am breakfast
E 11am snack
S 11.30am- 1.30pm
E 1.45pm lunch
E 3.30pm snack
E 4.30pm dinner
E 6.15pm 8oz milk
BT 7pm

No night feeds,  sometimes some NWs but usually just can't find his teddy so I run in and find it for him and  he resettles.

With lengthening the A time, I suggest you try jumping it straight up to 4 hours,  hold for 4 days and see how it goes, then try 4hr 15 for 4 days etc until you hit a good wake up with a good length nap. Although you are getting good long naps sometimes, these would be catching up on night sleep.

Hope that helps xx

[Spandanna]

Hiya,

Thanks so much for replying, that's interesting about the first A time. I had played around with it a couple of weeks ago but then ended up with short naps and he seemed really OT. Last night he woke at 2am and I decided I would go in and check on him and lie him back down. he carried on crying even after I left the room but settled himself within about 6 or 7 mins, but then he kept doing that every 15-20 mins until 4am when he finally settled properly until 6.35am which was a good result in the end. So I went for a 10.30nap (asleep about 5-10 mins after that) but he woke at 11.30ish...have now put him down for a second nap. He was absolutely shattered bless him.

I guess it'll be a few days before he adjusts to the new A time... ?

[sparklewings1984]

Yes definitely hold it for a few days, he may get a bit OT to start with but hopefully once he gets used to it things will improve.

Also with the night feeds, although at this age they shouldn't really need milk in the night, during growth spurts I do sometimes have to offer a bottle but try to only do it for 1 night so it doesn't become a habit. Then the next day I would sneak in an extra snack (supper before bedtime), it sometimes offer a 4oz bottle in the afternoon.

How did the rest of your day go with the second nap? Good luck tomorrow morning x

[Spandanna]

Sorry ... it has been a crazy busy few days, but I'm pleased to report some progress! We had a bad few nights, but decided that as he was no longer teething and over his cold we would continue to check on him once then leave him to settle himself. The first two nights were looooooong! Lots of crying for 5 mins then sleeping for 15 then starting the cycle again . Have been sticking with 4h A time with mixed nap results. On Friday he slept for 2 hours then yesterday 45 mins so had to APOP an afternoon nap and wake him after 20 mins....but last night he slept 7-7 not a peep out of him in the night and woke chatting and singing rather than shouting and crying! Am so happy!!!!

So today I have fed him an early lunch and gone for a 4h20 A time as he seemed fine He has been asleep for 2 hours now! Yippeee.... fingers crossed we are on the right track. I really appreciate your words of wisdom sparklewings1984. Thank you!

[sparklewings1984]

That's great news, v pleased for you 

Sometimes it's difficult knowing when they need you to help them settle or when they can do it themselves. My LB usually can do it himself but the moment that the moaning (mantra cry) turns to properly crying I always go in to him so he isn't alone.

Definitely try the 4hr 20 again for a few days. I would say once you hit a good A time you will get fairly consistent long naps (I call anything more than 1hr 40 a decent nap now). It may not happen every day, but if you are getting 4 or 5 days per week with a good long nap and no EWs then you have probably got it just right. Once the EWs start again, stretch another 15 mins A time.

Keep me updated! xx

[sparklewings1984]

How is it going now?

[Spandanna]

Hiya

I almost daren't say it but much much better thanks! We still have blips the odd night but we are on about 5h A time (unless he's teething or under the weather) and he does at least 1.5h nap sometimes as much as 3h... then he's sleeping from 7 until 6-7ish... but if he wakes earlier he is now accepting his dummy and then going back down until nearer 7 so am happy with that! Thanks so much for you help!