Total nighttime breakdown-11mths old

[murphy76]

Hi,

Our DS3 has never been the best sleeper, as everytime we feel like we are getting somewhere and a bout of sttn, something happens, usually illness, that knocks him back. He's had a bad run the last few months in particular, and in the last three weeks between tonsillitis, hand foot and mouth and a cold, we have just been trying to
Comfort him.

Now it looks like he is nearly over this, we MUST sort out his night time as its killing us! He wakes 2-3 times and only way to get him over is a bottle...bad parenting but he shouts the house down and with two other DS we can't have them up too.

His daytime routine is:

WU 530-6
S 930-1015
A 1015-215
S 215-3
BT 630/45

At night he wakened at usually 12 and 3, last night it was 1, 3 and 4

The above routine is when he is in daycare tues-thurs and when he is at home the other days we give him a 1.5hr nap in the morning 4 hrs after he wakes up and a catnap, as we are close to trying to transition 2-1, before all the madness started anyway.

So basically I don't know where to start, he doesn't get routine daytime sleep at daycare, despite how often we speak to them. But even at the long weekend when he does, he still wakes at night. I know I shouldn't feed him at night but I can't run the risk of waking the house!

He is on solids so cannot possibly be hungry at night, it's a habit we have unfortunately established.

Where to begin? I realise this is all over the place, but that pretty much sums life up at the minute.

Thanks in advance...

[lauradj]

Ugh hon, that sounds rough!  That must be really frustrating for you that daycare won't cooperate with you.  Are they opposed to set naps, or what is the issue that's messing up his daycare sleep?
I do think your LO is ready to transition 2-1 but slowly.  I would start by gently pushing the A time to 4.5 hr and cap both naps at 1hr each.  You could also do a 1.5hr in the morning and a 45min in the afternoon, it's really up to you. 
I'm not sure how to help you with the NW's if you're not ready to drop the bottle.  Could you send your other two kids to their grandparents house for a few nights while your and DH work on PU/PD?  Could you put a white noise machine in your DS' room so that it minimizes the crying/yelling?  It may be that with an A time push, the NW's begin to take care of themselves but it won't be an immediate change.

[murphy76]

Hi Laura,

Daycare try to be fair, but sometimes they put him
Down a bit earlier/later than 3.5/4 hrs A time and that causes a short nap, or else he gets woken by other kids, it seems to just be the nature of the game. Occasionally it is good though, hopefully it will get better in there, but it's important for us to have the proper routine the 4 days he's not in.

We were previously told one of the reasons for NWs was when he was getting 2 x 1 HR naps and neither were enough, hence im aiming for 1.5hrs in the morning  now, and a catnap in the afternoon. I thought 20-30 mins tops for the afternoon catnap, but you think more? What sort of A time should he have before bed after such a short nap Do you think?

Oh I  am ready to drop the bottles, just been
Putting it off until he is 100%. I think that's a great suggestion about getting the other kids offside, I may even take DS to my mums for a few days and work on him down there as my room is away from the main house.

Sounds good, lots to get stuck into, just need to pluck up the courage!

[lauradj]

It depends how long ago you received that advice.  At 11 months, he's probably ready to start transitioning but not everyone's LO is.  Tracy recommends 18 months but my LO was ready much sooner.  Part of the reason I transitioned him was because of day care.  If baby still required two naps, they do the first one at 9:15/9:30am and the second one at 1pm.  That was not going to work with my LO because he needed to be awake longer.  I very gently transitioned him, 15 more minutes every 4/5 days and then when we made it to 11:30, one day he just did it himself and stayed up until noon.  I did find DS1 had an easier time staying awake at day care then I expected.  I think because it's so busy there and there's so much going on. 

Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!

[murphy76]

Yep, makes sense.

He's back to 3 wakenings per night, illness seems to be over and sleeps weren't bad, so I think we need to really push the A times. He's at 4hrs now, it's tough all round to do this when his day starts at 5am most days unless I can get him over.

Once we have naps sorted I'll tackle the nighttime bottles.

Lots to do, but we'll definitely get there now I have an idea of where to start.

Thanks!

[lauradj]

You're welcome!!