2yr old won't play without me!!

[Stressedoutmommy]

I need help!!! I'm going nuts. My 2yr old refuses to play on her own. She refuses to be in a different room then me most of the time. I'm lucky if I get a minute out of my day when she entertains herself. She doesn't have any interest in her toys unless I am sitting there playing right beside her. She likes to do a lot of games that I have to be involved in (hide and seek, peek, chasing her etc). Whenever I suggest she plays with something she says "mom too" and if I say "no" then she just follows me around allllll day long. I'm at my wit end. I have a baby on the way and I need to fix this before the new baby comes. Please help!!!!

[Haribo2012]

I think it's pretty normal my 3.5 yr old still wants someone to play with him most of the time...will self entertain for prob 20 mins but needs me somewhere near as like to chat away.

What about messy play so she can be near you when your preparing meals etc...my DS loves a bowl of water with his cars in floating about, play doh or sticker books?

I think 2 is quite young to play alone for long periods of time...

[Hedgehog17]

Perfectly normal at 2yo 

If you want peace, put the TV on, hire a babysitter, or put her in nursery for a few hours per week! She's obviously very social and likes to be around people (actually a good trait in our extrovert society) 

When LO2 is old enough then they will probably play together, then you will have more time to do things 

[michaeljacknnugg]

Yes, very normal - and can be used to your advantage! I would get her involved in your jobs - give her a spray bottle of water and a cloth to clean the bathroom/kitchen, buy her a child-safe knife and let her chop food for dinner.

My DS is very social too and at 7.5 will join in with jobs in the garden, Hoover for me and loves to cook and bake. Some kids prefer to do 'real' stuff than play with toys! The other day he spent two hours moving logs for me as I can't bend over easily (37 weeks pg here).

[cath~]

Have you see this?


Cycle of Activity-Help Build Independent Playtime

I do totally agree with pp too that it's great (in so many ways) to get them involved in helping with whatever jobs you have to do.

[Katet]

Yes, very normal - and can be used to your advantage! I would get her involved in your jobs - give her a spray bottle of water and a cloth to clean the bathroom/kitchen, buy her a child-safe knife and let her chop food for dinner.

This

The funny thing about independence is it comes from connection, when they feel safe & connected & that you want them around & will spend time with them then they gain independence knowing they have a 'safe base' where as the more they are expected to be independent & give you space the less secure they feel & the more they need to gain that closeness & so refuse to be away from you.

[creations]

Agree with all pps, especially this:

The funny thing about independence is it comes from connection, when they feel safe & connected & that you want them around & will spend time with them then they gain independence knowing they have a 'safe base' where as the more they are expected to be independent & give you space the less secure they feel & the more they need to gain that closeness & so refuse to be away from you.

Also, she either knows or can sense the new baby coming, this is a time when LOs feel even more need to establish their place right there with you and feel the comfort and security of you.  It's very common for LOs to get even more 'clingy' when they know another LO is on the way.

Maybe time table your day so that there are times for full on attention and play with her, times for house chores where she helps or is invited to play with a safe house hold object right there with you, and times when you put a movie on and both chill out having a cuddle on the sofa.  Pre-baby I thought TV was the devil for children...soon changed my mind! Not only because I really needed a rest/calm time and the TV provided a bit of entertainment so I could just cuddle rather than play, but also because I saw just how much my DS learned from the TV.  It shouldn't be used excessively of course, but it's not the devil I used to think it was!

[Haribo2012]

we use tv here after lunch 2 programmes for a rest for me (also pregnant) and I'm surprised how much DS learns from them, afterwards we have a chat about what happened on programmes and he often does role play of which show he's watched it starts counting or doing letters etc.
I too thought I'd never use tv but never say never 

[Katet]

I used TV far more than was "recommended" & my boys probably still at 12 & 10 watch it more than "recommended" but they both watch news & documentaries & sport rather than mindless cartoons & when DS1 was 2yo he watched a lot of the basic book type tv shows - Spot the dog, Maisie, & then moved onto Thomas the Tank Engine & Bob the Builder type shows & he'd watch them over & over the same way he'd have a book read to him. I was very specific about what they could watch when they were young & it was always a DVD (actually back with DS1 it was still VHS) so that there was no advertising etc.

I found when DS2 was born (DS1 was 22mo) when I needed to feed DS2, DS1 & I could sit & watch TV & talk about it, I would set him up with a snack some of the time & he would talk about what he was watching & at times I could leave DS1 watching TV while I put DS1 to bed.