Author Topic: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!  (Read 3206 times)

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Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2015, 19:43:36 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D i guess i still have to wait wuite a long time before it becomes an activity for the both of us then!!!

So, she had a30min CN waking up at 17.45 and at 19.55 we started our wd ritual but she immediately put up such a fight (crying and screaming the moment she understood it was time to sleep) that she only fell asleep at 20.30....i dont know why....sometimes i really struggle to understand her. She is so NOT regular that it becomes a puzzle for everything!!! Sometimes i do think that i am not careful enough, that i cant see her cues for what she wants me to understand, that i am not being a good mum. I do what i can, and thank you both for your time, support, suggestions and sharing your experience with me!

Offline lauradj

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #16 on: November 03, 2015, 22:39:21 pm »
Oh hon, you're not a bad mom.  It's really, really hard in the beginning and when you're getting so much conflicting advice from friends, family and random strangers you've met from the other side of the world  ;), it can get confusing and stressful.
I'm glad Maya has been able to chime in with her experiences.  It's quite different here in Canada.  The understanding is, kids are in bed somewhere between 6-7pm.  So when evening events are planned, either all the parents make sure they have a baby-sitter or parents to watch the kids, or if the event starts in the late afternoon (4pm-ish), we bring our kids and then leave around 6pm so we're home for bedtime. 
I just want to touch on bed time again.  I agree with Maya, you need a choose a bed time that works for you and stick with it.  The reason I keep pushing for a 7pm (19:00) bed time, is your daughter is waking at 7/7:30am and the majority of babies cannot handle more than a 12hr day.  She's crying and screaming when you go to get her ready for bed because she is completely and utterly exhausted by that point.  When she woke at 17:45 from her catnap, you should then begin bath time and wind down at 18:30 so that she is in bed by 19:00, 19:30 at the absolute latest.  Does that make sense?


Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #17 on: November 04, 2015, 09:24:13 am »
Thanks for being so understanding, I appreciate it.
Btw, about these random strangers...thank god they exist!!! ;)

I do understand what you say, and beginning to share these ideas. However, the thing I don't understand is why would the she wake up in the middle of the night and start playing for 45min before being able to sleep again, like she did last night. Bt was 8.30pm, woke up at 00.30, fell asleep quickly , woke up at 3.15 and didnt sleep until 3.50, woke up 4.25 and fell asleep quickly, woke up at 6.45, fed her but didn't want to sleep anymore! If she was sooo tired at 8.30pm, why did she sleep "well" only for the first part of the night? This is what i dont get, the so numerous wakings and her playing in the night. How can i avoid it? Only with an earlier bt? If so, why? I am going to try to move her bt tonight at 7.30pm, and see what happens! ???

Offline -Maya-

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #18 on: November 04, 2015, 13:48:59 pm »
Paoletta I am not sure what you mean when you say random strangers. Am I missing something? My memory is still foggy.

Before seeing any result in night sleep I think you must stick to a routine for a couple of weeks. I suggest to do only activities that can be done in her a time. It will be hard because there is not so much that can be done. I remember feeling trapped at home, or running to my parents to get there on time for nap. But it is just a period and it passes.

Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #19 on: November 04, 2015, 14:32:31 pm »
Just a joke, since lauradj was referring to you and herself that way in her last post!!!

It will be two weeks on Sunday, dince we started pu/pd + routine change+ no bf during the night at all (not for eating nor falling back to sleep as dd was used). How much longer it typically needs to sleep through the night?
I am also worried because next monday i am going to my parent's house and staying therr for a week....what about the change? Dd knows them, i think she remembers them from a couple of weeks ago, but the house crib etc is giing to be completely new...i wonder if she is gonna follow the same routine there as well....

Offline lauradj

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #20 on: November 04, 2015, 18:43:43 pm »
I remember the first time we took DS1 to California, I was SO worried how he would sleep.  Ironically, he actually slept for longer stretches at their home than at our home in Vancouver!  I think it was because it was SO quiet where they live in the winter.  As long as you maintain the routine you and DH have set up for her, she'll likely be just fine.
Regarding the NW's, Tracy actually addresses this and it was a total shock to me.  As adults, we usually sleep through the night but we go through different levels of consciousness during that sleep.  Sometimes we have to get up to use the washroom or get some water.  Some people are just atrocious sleepers.  Babies rarely actually sleep through the night.  They'll wake a bit, roll around, change position and then fall back asleep.  So if DD is waking up, but isn't crying, just leave her to it and she'll just put herself back to sleep.  The important thing is to not rush in unless she's crying.  DS1 used to do a blast cry in the middle of the night that lasted for 5-10secs at best.  DH and I would leap out of bed and rush in and DS would be sound asleep.... ???  That ended up being just a phase and we learned to wait before rushing in.  DS2 did something similar when he was first teething.  He'd cry out for a couple of seconds but it wasn't a genuine cry, just enough to wake us up, then he'd drift back to sleep.  Thankfully that has ended.
I know it's been two weeks since you started chatting with us but if you think about it, you've just recently, in the last few days, started putting her to bed earlier.  I wouldn't actually start counting days until tonight when you do the earlier bed time.  It sounds like you're making great progress though!


Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2015, 19:51:33 pm »
 ::) ::) ::) i forgot to mention that her crib in our room yet....as she was waking up sooooo many times at night we never decided to move her to her room. Everytime she wakes up, she stands up in the crib, look for us and if we don't respond she starts crying. So we have to pick her up!
Is it something else I am doing wrong? My worry is that she can climb the crib. The crib is my husband's baby crib, and the distance between mattress and top is shorter than nowadays cribs. Dd is also extremely mobile and active, she stands up and jumps and I would not sleep if she was in another room. Am I paranoid? Please tell me if you think so, i need to know!!!!!

Offline lauradj

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #22 on: November 05, 2015, 05:45:03 am »
Hmm, I may not be the best person to advise you in this situation. We had DS1 in his own room at two weeks, and DS2 by 10 weeks. 
Honestly, I think she'll be totally fine and if she does climb out, just pop her back in and tell her not to climb out, she could get hurt.  She's not likely to get genuinely hurt, it's just that kids understand more than we tend to give them credit for.


Offline trimbler

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #23 on: November 05, 2015, 21:57:23 pm »
I don't have experience with climbing 8mo babies :P but our DD is still in our room! She's just had too much noisy unsettledness at night, and since we're in a 2 bedroom flat, she's either in with us or in with DS, who sometimes wakes from her crying through the wall, so we don't want to inflict it on him in the same room :-\ However, she can't see us at night as the room is pitch black, and we use white noise right next to her cot to help mask our own sleeping sounds, so I wondered if you might be able to do something similar if you're worried about her climbing?



Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #24 on: November 08, 2015, 15:51:08 pm »
Dd doesnt like pitch black at all! Since she was born she would cry if no lights were on! I'll wait a few more weeks and then move her to another room, maybe putting cushions over the floor close to the crib, just in case  :-\

Anyway, it was going a bit better, not consistently better though, when yesterday evening all of a sudden, dd wouldnt settle for sleep. She would cry and scream when pd, like it was the beginning again! Same thing today at the two nap times, plus she woke up every hour/hour  and a half for the whole night!!!! Whst's happening????
We havent changed anything in the (already new) routine, i really cannot understand...
Any thoughts?

Offline -Maya-

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #25 on: November 08, 2015, 19:31:36 pm »
Hello dear, for us hourly wakeup at night means a discomfort. Teething or any kind of illness. Rarely it was too hot or too cold.

Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #26 on: November 08, 2015, 21:07:00 pm »
 ??? I know, that's what i thought myself, it cannot be because she hates us (not yet at least!) she must have a reason for doing so. However i am struggling to figure it out... Too hot, too cold, wet/soiled are ruled out. About teething...i cant say, have no experience before with this issue. But her gums dont look any different to me.
 Anything else i am forgetting? So that i can try to solve the issue and start making some progress (and sleep) again!

Offline trimbler

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #27 on: November 08, 2015, 21:11:38 pm »
Have you heard of the wonder weeks? http://www.thewonderweeks.com Great excuse for sudden poor sleep :P that and teething ;) I think there's supposed to be a sleep regression around 8mo too, although that might be related to the ww around that time. It's nice to know about as you know that these things will pass :) Try not to despair after one day/night of poor sleep, I know it's horrible to be sleep deprived and you can start to panic about how tomorrow will go, but it's a new day and she might surprise you :-* Let us know how it goes...
« Last Edit: November 08, 2015, 21:15:34 pm by trimbler »



Offline lauradj

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #28 on: November 08, 2015, 22:54:05 pm »
Could definitely be the WW.  Do keep in mind though that there will be the occasional rough go, we still get those now and again with DS2 and he's 26 months old!


Offline Paoletta

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Re: I am going mad!! Really need your help here!
« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2015, 19:59:21 pm »
 :-X :-X :-X ww, 8m sleep regression...
When are all these nice surprises going to finish?!
I am having some real fun reading about them all  :-[
Any others i should know about??!!    ;)