I am going mad!! Really need your help here!

[trimbler]

Er...well, there are lots of wws, then there are nap transitions and a big SR around 18mo... But on the plus side, especially with the wws, just think about how amazing their development is, how their understanding of the world increases and what an amazing little person she is I personally found DS's first year really rough, but after that it started getting less intense. I think partly knowing that has helped me to enjoy DD much more, of course I still have my rough days but this time I can tell you that these rough phases do pass, and they mean your DD is growing and developing

[lauradj]

Oooo, the first gastrointestinal flu is a real riot!  DS1 got it when I was 8 months pregnant, then DH and I got it immediately after.  SO fun!!   Pink eye is also a hoot 

[trimbler]

Actually I'm sure my bout of gastroenteritis during pregnancy turned out to be a good thing - all that retching and insides-emptying finally turned my breech baby

[Paoletta]

OMG!!! You're scaring the hell out of me!!!! 
You should ban this forum to those who are trying to conceive!!!! Planet Earth would be a desert bu 100 years!!!! 

After 3 full weeks of starting to change her sleeping habits, we are still getting no more than 3h uninterrupted sleep (only once 5h ) but hopefully it will continue to improve! I am only worried that our voices and hand on the back could become her new prop for sleeping, we never managed to leave the room and leave her to fall asleep completely alone. I am not even sure how to try, at which point we should just leave her and go out of the room. Suggestions would be more than welcome!!!! As always! 

[lauradj]

Something you could try, that I did with DS1, is gradually removing yourself.  I did this over a period of about 30 minutes but DS1 was older when I did this and had been an independent sleeper for quite some time.  I would pick him up and sooth him, then I'd lay him in bed with my hand on his tummy or back, then I removed my hand but stayed beside the crib where he could see me, then I went and sat in the chair in his room (he could still see me).  After I sat there for about 10 minutes, and I could hear his breath had slowed, I would, ninja-style, leave the room.  For you and DH, the first night you might keep your hand on her but not say anything; the next night, remove your hand after 5-10 minutes but stay by the bed, etc.  That might actually be similar to Pantley's Gentle Removal Plan, but I'm not sure.  It's just what worked for us.   

[Paoletta]

Thanks! Next week when back home we'll try it for sure! Is it better during naps or nights? Or do it for both?

[lauradj]

I only had to use it at night.  My boys have always been fairly good sleepers.

[Paoletta]

Hello again to you all, here I am again asking for your help!
After a month of pu/pd, we are still not sleeping...
I didnt have the chance of trying to leave the room before DD would fall asleep as things progressively got worse and worse. DD was waking up every 2-3 hrs, but now she wakes up every hour, stay awake for 1-2h per night and then maybe she sleeps 2h and it's morning...It's a real nightmare, believe me. Also, she seems to be more upset than usual during the day, she always wants to have me very very close,  though she naps always fine (2 times a day for at least 1h, more often 1h20min each). My husband has developed the (bad) habit of feeding her at a certain point of the night/early morning (say between 4 and 6) when he doesnt know how else to calm her. Is it going to do more harm than good in the long term? She only drinks one third to half of her usual feed, which is already a small amount (never more than 100ml), so i can safely say that she is not that hungry when he feeds her. He says she now wants it and looks for the bottle if he doesnt give it to her.
What do you suggest we do? Can it be separation anxiety? If so, how do we cope with it? How long is it going to last for, typically? Should My husband console her or should it be myself? I mean, is it better or worse if she sees me when she wakes in the night?
Please help me understand what's happening, why things are not improving and how to avoid screwing up completely!!!
Many many thanks in advance.

[lauradj]

Oh hon!  I'm sorry things have taken a turn for the worse again.  How frustrating for you.  8 months is prime time for separation anxiety.  My little guy cries whenever I leave him at the rec centre day care for my workout, even though he's known those ladies for 4 months and they LOVE him.  It's pretty heartbreaking.
Regarding the night time bottle, I really think that needs to stop because it's becoming a prop.  She won't calm down without it and so that has now become an expectation.  Try replacing it with a soother perhaps?  Could you post your EASY?  It sounds like either a)she's UT, or b) she's going through some kind of developmental leap.  Let's start with the routine and go from there.

[Paoletta]

Thanks for replying so quickly!
So easy looks like this pretty much every day:
6.45-7.15 WU and breakfast solids
A until 9.30/45 then bottle (80-100ml)
S until 11.15
E 12.15/30 solids
A until 14.30 then bottle (80-100ml)
S until 15.45/16.10
E 18.45 solids
A until 20.00 then bottle (50-70ml)
S 20.10 falls asleep
And then all the wakings start!!!

What do you make of it?

[lauradj]

Ok, I'm noticing a couple of things.  First, I would suggest you push for a longer A time.  3hrs and 15 mins is a very reasonable A time for this age.  Some babies are even staying up for 3.5-4 hrs.  The other thing is, she is up WAY too late at night given her morning WU.  If she's waking at 6:45/7am, she needs to be in bed by the same time in the evening.  That is likely why you are getting the interrupted sleep at night, she's OT.