3 Year Old Refusing to Nap

[FrankiesMom12]

Hi All - we are on our 4th or 5th straight day with my 3-year-old not napping.  I'm not sure if this is due to DST, is there a sleep regression at 3, is he ready to drop the nap, or is he just trying to torture me?  I'm 35 weeks pregnant and I was really relying on him still taking a nap most days to get through this last phase of my pregnancy as well as the exhaustion of having a newborn.

Anyway, I feel like he goes through this every 4 - 6 weeks, where he'll have a week or so of not napping.  Before DST, this was his routine:

7:30 awake
1:30/2:00 - 3:30/4:00 asleep
8:00 in bed and usually asleep with 10 minutes

Now, we've gotten through this week with his wake-up off due to DST, but the last two days were like this:

7:00 awake
2:00 pd for nap; never went to sleep
7:00/7:30 in bed early due to no nap and asleep within minutes

I'm honestly so tired of fighting the fight to try and get him to Nap, but am so exhausted myself I don't know what to do.  I also can't imagine having to entertain him for another 2 hours daily if he doesn't nap.  My husband works long hours so we're typically alone together for 12 hours daily.

[Buntybear]

Hi there, unfortunately any of those things you mentioned could be the culprit here - or ore likely a mixture!

At the age of 3 you were lucky to be getting a 2 hour nap so I would have thought he would need to drop that altogether yet. When he is fighting the nap do you get the feeling that he is OT or UT? It could be either at this point if he has missed the nap for a fe days now. If he is showing signs of OT have you tried to bring the nap forward to see if you have missed the window?

For Olly he would ALWAYS be UT when he was dropping sleep needs. I would shift his knapsack and cut it by the same amount o time so he was always waking at the same time form his nap and that would work 

[FrankiesMom12]

Hello - thank you for your response, and I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner.  It was his 3rd Birthday and party on Saturday, so things were a little crazy here this weekend.

Anyway, I'm actually struggling to tell if he's OT Or UT at naptime.  He's definitely acting pretty strange and hyper, but I can't tell how much of that is related to sleep vs. just being a 3-year-old now and going through some of that.

I have noticed; however, on the days he does finally fall asleep (yesterday and today) it doesn't happen until about 2:30 or so.  Also, both yesterday and today someone had to go into his room and talk to him (or in my case get really frustrated...I'm NOT having shiny mom moments lately).  I think if we left him to his own devices he wouldn't have fallen asleep either day.  In general, he is super whiny and pretty cranky, which is what leads me to believe he's not getting enough total sleep.

Part of me wonders if I just need support/advice for having a 3-year-old, although I do think sleep is a pretty big component of this.  I definitely agree that I was super lucky to be getting a 2 hour nap at almost 3, I just didn't think he'd drop it altogether practically overnight!!!

[Buntybear]

Happy Birthday to your little man!

Sorry - I have just read my post and spell check had been in action! Knapsack  and I meant to say that it was unlikely he wants to drop his nap altogether -not that I thought he should!

For us we have always had a horrendous time around birthdays in terms of regressions. I am trying to think if it was his 2nd or 3rd birthday when he refused to get in his cot altogether and we had to make a bed next to it for him to even think about sleep!

Hopefully when he gets the excitement of a birthday weekend out of the way he may settle back into more of a routine    I would still keep offering and go for very early bed times in he refuses. Try and keep that OT at bay if possible.

Will he sleep in the car if you were to take him out?

[FrankiesMom12]

Thanks for your advice!  I have a few follow-up questions:

1. Since he hasn't been falling asleep until 2:30ish, should I put him down later than I'm normally inclined to, say at 2 or 2:15?  I should note that the last 3 mornings he's been waking up at 6:30 again, I'm not sure if 8 hours is too long a WT for this age?

2. Today after he fell asleep he slept for about 1 - 1.5 hours, which is huge for us.  Normally, if he finally falls asleep at 2:30, he would sleep the full 2 hours until 4:30, which is pretty late.  (Although, he never has trouble (knock on wood!!!!!) falling asleep at night.)

3. What does PD for bed really early mean to you?  I think the earliest we have accomplished is 7 in recent memory.  I'm not sure if that's too late when he skips his nap?

Thanks for letting me know about your kids regressions around birthdays.  It really helps to hear when you're not alone in some of this, and I do really think I need to go find a board for support with just handling the 3's as I think that might alleviate some of the stress.  Part of this is my struggle with a perceived lack of obedience, which I know is unfair of me to expect out of a 3-year-old.

[Buntybear]

Have you found our nap dropping support thread? I am not sure how busy it is now but it was invaluable to me when Olly was dropping his nap

Support for dropping the nap part 12

And with help with any behaviours there is our board for pre schoolers. There will be lots of advice there from Mums who have gone through he same feelings as you are right now!

Discipline & Socialization Skills

[Buntybear]

To answer your questions, yes I would push his nap back, there is no point in fighting the nap if it is early. When Olly dropped his sleep needs he would just need it pushing back by 15mins and it would right itself. I will then shave 15 mins off the end of the nap so WU would stay the same and so would the A time to BT. He was fairly textbook like that (about the only area of sleep he was textbook!).

EBT can vary depending on your LO. Very EBTs can be as early as 5.30pm and they work for some if your LO can tack on to their night time sleep. Olly wouldn't particularly and TBH I was too scared to try it but it really depends on your LO. It also depends on how your LO can handle OT. If he struggles I would try 6pm as that would be can 11 hour day and see if you can get a 13 hour night.

HTH