Me again. Don't know where to begin with nap routine for 9 week old

[Conniesmummy]

I really need help as I'm at the end of my tether, my little girl refuses to nap unless in the car or out in the pram and even then she can fight it 😪

I know I shouldnt grumble as she is generally good at settling at night and has been sleeping longer, last 2 nights she has slept through from around 8-9pm until 5-6am. She did stir around 12-1 am but settled with little intervention some I knew she wasn't hungry. Plus she fits her 5 bottles into the day ok.

A typical routine would be

Feed 6ish then she would go back down to sleep around 7 for a couple of hours.
Around 9-10 wake and wash and dress, feed around 9:30-10:00 then shes awake unless I go out in the car or pram!! Feed around lunch time, followed by the same, car or pram!
I am exhausted as I don't want to have to go out all the time to get my child to sleep 😁

I have tried to sh pat and pick up and put down today and she is awful, to the point of making herself sick!!

I hate seeing my little girl like this, its heartbreaking, but I know she needs to sleep. You can tell if she is overtired, it is like she is wired 😓

She is currently fighting sleep yet again this time in the sling! She is almost suffocating herself rubbing her face into me!

Feed times have been a struggle too cos she is knackered and falling asleep, I am having to tickle her and keep talking to her to keep her awake to finish her bottles.

I am resisting leaving the house with her as I am determined to sort this out, but really don't know were to go next. I love my daughter but today I could have walked out and left her (her dad is home, don't worry she wouldn't be alone)
She is a very much wanted ivf baby, so I feel guilty for thinking things like that, I just didn't anticipate it would be so hard 😩


ThenI go out cos

[lauradj]

Oh hon, what you need is a big HUGE hug!  It's really hard in the beginning and it doesn't matter how much you wanted her, sometimes she's going to drive you up the wall and around the twist!  Those feelings to not make you a bad Mum.
You should also know that the first three months are the hardest.  Everyone is adjusting to the new addition, no one really knows what's going on and there is minimal sleep.  It's a recipe for frustration and stress.
It was a little hard to read your routine, could you re-post it like this?

E - 6am
A - 6 - 7:15
S - 7:15 - 9:15

Also, please don't use PU/PD at this age, it's far to stimulating for little babies and do absolutely nothing to calm them (as you have already learned  . 

[lily_layne]

(((hugs))) 9 weeks can be a tough age for naps. If she needs the sleep (and you need the break) it is perfectly ok to APOP (accidental parenting on purpose - sling, swing, car, rocking/feeding to sleep - whatever it takes). She is still so little that you don't need to stress yourself out about independent sleep. It will come fairly easily when she's older. If you need to get out of the house, get out - staying in for the sake of naps will make you feel worse (I know because I did it way too much with LO1).

Check out some of Dr. Karp's videos about the 5s technique. It worked wonders for soothing my spirited DD to sleep.

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks so much for your support.

I ended up in tears last night with one wired baby 

It doesn't help that she has poop issues and I think her changing her night sleep, which is great, but it may have upset her pooping schedule a bit. After lots of tears, an unhappy bath time and cuddles from hubby for both of us. I fed and kind of settled a twitching baba, which upset me more.
She then promptly woke cos she pushed out her poop after 2 days!! She did eventually settle again within an hour, but I didn't cos was expecting her to wake anytime. I must have nodded off too and she woke around 05:30 more pleasant.  Hadn't taken her full feeders she's still knackered bless her, but hopefully enough to satisfy her for a bit.
Xx

[lauradj]

Oh hon, it's so hard to see them in any kind of discomfort!  I'm glad she'll have some relief and hopefully things will improve for her

[lily_layne]

(((hugs))) Remember that providing her love and comfort (which it sounds like you are excellent at!) when she needs it is more important than establishing a predictable routine at this age.

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks for all your support.
I think I have a bit of post natal depression so I have started on some st John's wort. Not big on medication!!
Gp also thinks and I agree that dd may have a silent reflux as has many symptoms so she is being started on ranitidine.
She had a good day yesterday cos we went out and she had good naps. Today she has been more pleasant for it, even lay awake in her new cot in her room, smiling. No signs of sleeping tho lol.
I plan on keeping on putting her down in there when she is settled to help her get acclimatised to her room.
She has only short napped again today but better than the other day. She had an hour out in the pram, then half an hour after her swimming lesson and bottle at lunchtime. She had a brief half hour in the sling after that, and is now asleep after teatime bottle in my arms, currently at 20 mins...
I think I just have a baby that doesn't sleep.
Slight interval there whilst I was puked on!!
Now awake baby fighting a nap.

[lily_layne]

Short naps are pretty common at this age. Some babies are more difficult to get to sleep. If you are struggling and feeling stressed, there is nothing wrong with using the sling or rocking her to sleep if she is fighting sleep. It is easier to work on independent sleep when they are older. If you want to post your routine in the format laura suggested, we can see if there are any adjustments that might help her get to sleep easier.

We have good boards for reflux and PND. Feel free to post if you want support or advice.

[lauradj]

Raniditine made a huge difference for DS2!  I'm a big fan!  I'd also suggest you put the mattress on a slight incline and, if possible, make a towel roll so you can lay her on her left hand side for sleep.  All those things together made an enormous difference in DS2's sleep. 
I also agree with PP^^  Our PND boards and reflux boards are a great source of support!

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks again ladies.
Well what a farce at gp with ranitidine.  They gave the right dose but the wrong concentration so are now expecting me to give a ten week old baby 6 mls 3 times a day!!!
I am a paediatric nurse so I explained the correct way to give only to be told I am wrong and to drip the ranitidine in over the day if its too much at once!!! What!!!
Anyway I'm going to see my own gp tomorrow and will hopefully sort it, she is usually brill and was her idea to try ranitidine but I wanted to see if I could manage without meds first.

Anyway after making her sick with 6 mls of ranitidine,  a screaming fir, no bath and a puke all over me in the bed! Fortunately missed the bedding, well caught mummy! She settled to bed at about half 9. She stirrs a few hours later but settled with her dummy and slept til 5:30. I told hubby we are aiming for a 3-4 hourly feed routine today so far so good.
Plus she had a brief half hour nap in his arms as I was out at the gp trying to sort the mess. They don't answer phones on a sat!!!
I thought she was fighting sleep after that but worried that she would then fall asleep feeding if we kept her waiting, so I bit the bullet and fed her, it was touch and go but kept her awake ns after the feed too, hard when you have to keep her upright cos of reflux. Anyway, I babble on!!
I watched for her almost sleep and lay her in her carrycot as if we were going a walk, hood up and cover over. I played her musical teddy a couple of times as we do on a walk and put the extractor fan o. Coa she likes road noise lol. I'm sat here daring not to look. Dh was about to yank the patio doors open for some god knows reason and he was greeted with a look!!!
We are now coming up to an hour asleep in her pram in the kitchen!!! I can hardly believe it.
I know we won't always get it right but baby steps are fine for now 

[lily_layne]

I hope you can get the ranitidine sorted. Yay for a good nap in the pram. If you can, try not think of it as "getting it right." That can put a lot of pressure on you and make you feel worse if things don't go as planned. Newborn sleep is tricky and reflux doesn't make it easier! There will be lots of bumps. You're right - it is baby steps. Keep celebrating those small moments!

[Conniesmummy]

Just thought I would post an update.
Dd is now 12 weeks old and despite still having issues re silent reflux (now medicated correctly) and the ongoing poop issues, she is now napping better. Yesterday morning I felt she was tired despite an awake time of only an hour. I took her up to bed with me one cos I was pooped and two so I could observe her nap to see why she wakes. Anyway long story short she napped well, although with me so this morning I bit the bullet and when she showed the same sleepy signs I took her to her bedroom awake, popped her in a lightweight gro bag over her clothes and put her in the cot. She has now been asleep for 2 1/4 hours. I have watched her on the video monitor and she has wriggled at times but has not woken fully and looks very peaceful.
The issue you have now though is if she is ill or has she just mastered the naps?!!   
She is feeding about 4 hourly so should wake in the next half hour to an hour.
Watch this space.
If she has mastered naps I thought an update may offer support to others struggling as I was.
I just followed advice from here, helped her nap if I could, went put every day to get at least one quality nap...even walking in the rain for 2 hours one day!
We still struggle at tea time. She only had 15 mins in her dad's arms last night then was grumpy and overtired at Bath and bedtime,  that feed took forever she was so tired. But I hope I've learned from that and will hopefully follow her cues a little better from now on.
She is still only waking for one feed in the night, whichever great.
We have moved her into her own room as her wriggling was waking me and I was waking her. She seems to like her bedroom and we have out little bedtime routine in there now as we had in our room. My problem now is I haven't settled properly since her move, despite monitors and video camera!!
Mum's never switch off do they? X

[Conniesmummy]

I take all the above back cos she's been a nightmare today lol. Refusing to nap even in the pram lol. I give up 

[lily_layne]

take all the above back cos she's been a nightmare today lol. Refusing to nap even in the pram lol. I give up 

(((hugs))) This is totally normal. I know it's tough but try to celebrate the good days and not get hung up on the rough days. No baby is going to nap well every day - it's normal and you aren't doing anything wrong. Another mom on here told me to expect one fussy period/day, one fussy day/month, one fussy week/month and I found that expecting the fussy periods made it easier to accept them and kept me from getting hung up on what I was doing "wrong."

[Conniesmummy]

Thanks hun
It just starts to feel like groundhog day sometimes.
I don't know if the napping issues are around the reflux issue. We have a paediatric appt next week so may get some help there, or not...
Because the naps are pants at times bedtime can be hard to judge. She has also started falling asleep during her feeds and it's a struggle to get her to take her bottles!!
On the positive side, she now poops most days which is an improvement from every 2-3 days!!!
They do keep us on our toes don't they?
I'm off to bed cos the way thongs are, who knows when she will be awake again?