Hi there, good to 'see' you again
It must be so hard having to work whilst she's still so little, and you must be really exhausted
Firstly - I think you're doing just right by going in at 30mins to help her through her nap transitions
Many mums on here have done just the same, and it's also great that you let her nap without your intervention once in a while, then you will know when she's able to do a long nap consistently by herself
For the dream feed - some LOs need to be in a deep sleep so that they don't wake up too much, but other LOs need to be a bit more awake (ie in lighter sleep) so that they feed properly. I experienced both - DS would need to be in really deep sleep otherwise he would wake up too much; but if DD was too deeply asleep she just wouldn't feed at all, so I had to pick her up (also bf) when she was in lighter sleep, she would wake and sometimes even look around or smile, but I would kind of feed her back to sleep, so she wasn't awake for very long really, it's not ideal but that's how it was for us. Perhaps you could experiment with the dream feed in lighter sleep? Or do you think that she takes a proper feed in deep sleep? Mine could go on for an hour, especially with DS, as I was too afraid to stop the feed in case he was still hungry! That is probably excessive though
As for daytime feeds, when she's fully awake, 10mins would be within normal range at 4mo. But if you think she might not be getting enough milk in 10mins, you could try sitting her up, burping her, maybe even changing her nappy, and then see if she wants any more milk. If not, and she's done a good burp, then she's probably had all she needs from that feed. 4mo is often an age where they get distracted whilst feeding, so it may be that she's hungry initially, but then sees something in the room which interests her more than finishing the feed - do you think she might be doing that? You could try feeding in a darker room, maybe when you get her up from a nap, before moving into another room. Or you could try walking around as you feed (never worked for us, but it does for some!), or singing/talking to her whilst she feeds, to keep her interest.
Just to clarify - do you currently hold her to sleep for every nap and then put her down, or is that only for BT? By 4mo, most LOs expect to resettle to sleep in the same way that they got to sleep initially - so if you hold/swing her to help her to get to sleep, then she'll want this whenever she stirs in the night. This includes the normal stirrings between 5-15mins after falling into light sleep, you'd expect her to reach deep sleep only after about 20mins. The only way to resolve this really is by helping her to get to sleep in her cot, but the good news is that this doesn't have to mean PUPD, which can be over stimulating even at 4mo. Actually if she only cried for 25mins then that's a really good start, but I know what you mean, it feels like forever
Have you tried using a form of shh pat with her in her cot, rather than in your arms? Have a read of this (taken from the 'solves all your problems' book) and see if you think she might be happier with that.
Shush-pat - How to Think of PUPD as a last resort if all else fails.
Your daytime routine looks pretty good really, perhaps tomorrow try the same, only reduce her A time before BT and try using shh pat to get her to sleep in her cot, rather than on you. This will probably take ages the first few nights until she gets used to it, and she will probably wake again due to OT, but eventually she will learn and then she should be able to get to sleep more quickly before she gets OT.
Oh yes, and there is also a growth spurt at 4mo
