5 week old - can't get to sleep or stay asleep

[lily_layne]

That's tough - that's when you really need them to sleep and give you a break.

[labrodyk]

First bit of sleep she's had all day is on myself at 2pm when she woke at 8ish. Poor little thing!

[lily_layne]

It sounds like she just needs that extra comfort of a warm body.

[grace annes mommy]

Sorry things are still so tough.    It's good you and DH can kind of swap shifts.  Could he take on a whole night so you can get some rest?

Will she sleep in a sling?

[labrodyk]

I am SO lost on what to do now...I can't find any bottle she'll take calmly. I'm still to enjoy feeding her it's such a battle and she doesn't even want to look at me 

The dummy is starting to REALLY annoy me - every single nap is sleep for 5/10/15 MAYBE 20 mins but then awake and crying and we do it for over 2hrs.

What should our EASY look like now at 6 weeks because I'm so confused and her signs are a mess! I did later A time today of 1.5hrs and she did exactly the same thing. Positively will not settle in her bed or even the swing, just kept spitting the bloody dummy, wake, cry, I put it back in - wash and repeat ALL day!

[grace annes mommy]

I am SO lost on what to do now...I can't find any bottle she'll take calmly. I'm still to enjoy feeding her it's such a battle and she doesn't even want to look at me 

I really think this could be the root of why she's not settling.  How much is she taking a day?  Is she gaining weight?  What does your dr. say about the way she"s feeding?  If she's feeling perpetually hungry, she's going to have a lot of trouble getting into deep sleep.

[lily_layne]

I really think this could be the root of why she's not settling

I agree. And if she's not feeding calmly, I think you need to look into discomfort or something else that could be causing the issue (undiagnosed tongue tie? a lip tie? a hole in her palate?)

[labrodyk]

Thanks ladies! You're most definitely right, it is discomfort. Horrific silent reflux to be exact. Our community nurse validated and confirmed my gut instinct that it was most definitely reflux. She told me;

* not feeding well because of pain association. Told me to feed small meals frequently (2-3hrs), whatever she will take, even if it is only 20ml like she's been doing. Also to change to an anti-reflux formula.

* sleeping. Basically she's in agony so keeps waking up. Sleep her on her left side, elevated or basically on me all day upright (last things I was expecting the health nurse to tell me!). She'll be a serial catnapper for a while yet...
At night she does better and decent stretches of sleep because she's so exhausted.

* keep up her medication and get it reviewed often to ensure correct dosage.

Now to just find a bottle/teat that kind of works and stick with it! So confused though, I could open a shop I've spent so much money

[lily_layne]

You sound much better! It must be a relief to know what's going on. I am glad that your nurse was helpful. A post on the reflux board might get you some advice on teats to try and other good tips.

I hope sleeping on her side will get you a bit more sleep. If it does get better, I probably wouldn't wake her very often - let her catch up a bit if you can.

[grace annes mommy]

I am sooo happy you talked to the nurse and feel validated in your hunch.  Good job, Mama!  My fingers are crossed that the new formula helps fast and you can all catch up on some rest soon.

[labrodyk]

Thank you so much ladies!! Yesterday she slept for 2.5hours so things are looking up and new formula and meds are helping.

I would like to get her on a 3hr EASY but I'm at a loss. Today I got her up at 7 (she fed at 5am and I put the dummy in from 6am). Fed her and put ER down at 8.30. She slept 45 minutes and dozed but cried from 9.30. Fed at 10 and I kept her up until 11.30, she slept 30 minutes and then I've been putting the dummy in a hundred times util 12.40 where she's spat it out and stayed asleep. Not sure whether to wake her at 1pm for a feed or let her sleep. I'm trying to follow her cues but it's SO hard to know when she wakes early from naps or all the way through them...
I'd like to implement a bit of structure between 7-7, could you recommend how an EASY might work here with the arvo catnap, cluster feeds (she's 6 weeks, do I need to tank her up?) and bath/bottle before bed? Should I do the dreamfeed?

thank you so much.

[lily_layne]

I would like to get her on a 3hr EASY but I'm at a loss.

Honestly, I would just totally let go of establishing a routine for the next week or more. She likely needs to catch up on sleep and with short naps things will be a bit all over the place (and I always found short naps much less frustrating when I wasn't planning on her waking up at X time and eating at X time, etc.). If takes ages to get to sleep (or is just having a good nap), I would let her sleep - probably to a max of 4/4.5 hrs since the last feed. I'm not sure how a refluxer would handle cluster feeds - others might know more. Sometimes my LOs clustered at night and sometimes not - didn't seem to impact their nights (and DD's were often worse if she had the extra feed). I also never did a DF. I like to be in bed early (and I breastfed) so it was just as easy to get up for an extra feed whenever LO woke.

[labrodyk]

Hello ladies!!

we've had a few decent naps this last week but she's still very tired and I'm struggling to read her cues! I've kept the dummy/paci because she loves it and it comforts her and she's keeping it in a little better but she's struggling to join sleep cycles together in the day so we have lots of 20/30 or 45 minute naps and sleeps/feeds are all over the place. What kind of EASY should I be aiming for? 3/3.5/4? We're very much EASASEASY at the moment and often there are lots of top up feeds which I don't think she needs but can't settle from being OT from the short naps.

I also don't know whether to feed or paci her in the mornings. For example last night was;

S: 4.45-5.30pm
A: 1/2 feed and bath
E: 1/2 feed 6.00pm
S: 6.30pm. Asleep quickly but woke after 45 minutes. Somehow found her dummy (she's swaddled) and self settled after 15 minutes.

E: 10.30pm. Settled quickly with dummy at 11pm
E: 2.45am. Settled quickly with dummy at 3.15am

She then woke at 5.45 but didn't seem hungry as her eyes were closed so I offered her the dummy and she went back to sleep for an hour or so and I got her up when my 3yo came in at 7am.

E: 7.00am
A:
S: 7.55am - she woke after 30 minutes losing the dummy so i replugged and she's woken a few more times (another I replugged) the others she settled again after 10/15minutes. It's almost 10am and she's sleeping.

Just not sure whether I should have fed her at 5.45 or what time I should get up and start my day rather than feed and return to bed? should I start trying to carve out some sort of structure? If so, how? I've read so many BW pages but just can't seem to get it right for Audrey

Thank you so much for the ongoing support.

[grace annes mommy]

Sounds like things are getting better!  Is she more comfortable with the new formula?

I would have done the same as you.  Replugged at 5:45 and started the day whenever she woke or was woken up by my older one.     My DD2 tends to start stirring around 6am and if she's not hungry, I've been bringing her into bed so we can doze for another half hour or hour before my big girl gets up.  (Not saying that's the 'right' thing to do.  Just what's working for us now)

How old is Audrey now?  I'm guessing 3hr EASY is still the routine to aim for. 

I've been noticing from other's posts that these wakings at 10/20/30/40 mins throughout naps are common at this age.  I guess they're still learning how to sleep thru those jolts and sleep cycles.  So annoying, though!  Have you found anything that guarantees a good nap for her?  My LO loves the ergo, so I've been putting her in there in the afternoon for a monster catch-up nap from her catnaps in the morning.

About the paci - it does give comfort to a lot of refluxey babies.

[labrodyk]

Things are improving very slowly and the anti-reflux formula is helping I feel.

I can't work out how often to feed Audrey now at 7 weeks because at 4 hours she feeds so much better and much more than she does at 3/3.5 hrs but she can't stay awake or sleep long enough to make that work. This morning she was down at 8 and woke a lot but was still asleep and I had to wake her at 10.30am to go out - absolutely downed her milk when we arrived at our destination come 11am. However, the rest of her sleeps were 20/30/45 minutes long with me replacing the paci pretty regularly during those times. She had a really lousy nap on and off on me sometime between 5-6pm and I had her back in bed after bath and feed just before 7pm but she lay awake with paci in and out for 1/2 hour.

Will keep trudging on, just really keen to get our days sorted so DS3 and I can have some time together too because his behaviour is atrocious at the moment