I hope you can help. I used BW really successfully with my DD and she was on a perfect 4 hour routine by 4 months, could be put down to nap after one yawn dead on the BW advised awake times and left with just a kiss and slept well through the night, she’s 2.5 now and still a great napper and sleeper.
Now I have my gorgeous 10 week old boy who is generally a content and happy baby – I would say an angel baby but I just can’t get him to nap and we have the following issues that I really need to sort out as I am suffering with PND and really struggling with my very demanding toddler where with my depression and her independent and strong willedness we are clashing which is making me feel even sadder with my newborn
The issues we're having with DS are:
1) He self settles himself brilliantly at night, and after night feeds and through the 30-45 transition during the night but he doesn’t seem to nap in the day, or if he does then they are 30-45 minutes long.
He really doesn’t cry much (only when he is overtired/hungry or bored – we’re really lucky as DD cried a lot) so when I put him down when he shows signs of being tired he doesn’t cry but he just doesn’t start to look sleepy. The problem is that he can just lie there sometimes for an hour and then start getting upset.
I’ve tried putting him down on his signs of sleepiness and also following the BW awake times but so far I haven’t found what works, most of the time he just doesn't get sleepy. I know this is odd, he'll carry on yawning so I know he's tired and he will get more and more grizzly until he cries because he is very tired. I've done the 4 s's, I try and set the scene the same each time (where I can as I have to be places with my toddler) but sometimes it's like there isn't an off switch for him even though I know he needs to sleep. For example he's been awake since 5am ish this morning, fell asleep finally in the car seat at 0830 (I have to take my daughter to nursery so we can't always do naps in the cot) but woke at 0915. I tried to get him to sleep again but it didn't work so now i've tried to feed him before nap and he's guzzled it all, that was at 1045 and lay him down and he's just been in the cot for the full hour awake until he started crying towards the end.
We use the 4 s’s but can’t seem to find a way of getting him sleepy, or even if he does look sleepy he can then look wide awake. We’ve tried using a dummy to get him sleepy and that does work sometimes, but I really need advice on the use of a dummy too as I don’t want him to start to become reliant on a dummy to settle himself at night as he does it all independently and besides he doesn’t always take it or you have to keep putting it back in as he can’t keep them in.
I don't think it's a case he doesn't need to nap or he's ok with short naps as he's not happy when he wakes but I have to say he's a very calm and contented baby and only really cries when tired or hungry. He also will sometimes have a long nap in the day.
2) He wakes early from naps, it was at 10 minute increments but now it's sometimes 30-45 minutes. I know some advice is to go in before they wake to put a hand on the chest to settle them as soon as they stir but I can't always do this as it's a 15 minute window and I just can't do that to my daughter and leave her for more time to just sit by his cot incase he stirs. Also, a few times he will just go through it on his own so does anyone have suggestions I can try to get his naps longer bearing in mind I have a toddler around?
3) Should I be extending his night feeds and if so how do I do this? He feeds mostly 3 hourly but sometimes up to 4 hours in the day and wakes for feeds about 3 hourly in the night (but oddly doesn't want breakfast). He weighs 15.5lbs.
The pram doesn’t work either or car seat, he sleeps in the sling on a long walk but wakes as soon as you stop moving so this isn’t an option.
I've kept a log since he's been born of his routine but because his naps are so short and his awake times are so long it's never got into a pattern.
I was really worrying about him not following EASY or napping but I had to let it go so that I could start to spend time with my daughter again and not spend all my time hanging over the cot crying because I couldn't get him to sleep but I am still attempting to put him down for his naps but it’s just not working and so it feels like I’m spending my day feeding him and trying get to him to nap between giving my toddler attention so I’m not getting lovely play time with him.
Please can anyone help? Sorry for the essay but I wanted to be thorough. I’ve got all the BW books, but just can’t find solutions to these issues.
