what am I doing wrong? NW

[mazza123]

My DB is nearly 8 months and is yet to give me a whole night of sleep- like many babies here!
Our general EASY is below- he is a happy baby, can play on his own and with his big brother, he goes down easily for sleep, but he wakes at night. Usually I have 1x1 hour session of sitting there doing shush/pat- he is quiet but can't drop off to sleep- the NW varies between 1am and 3am. He eventually gets there but I have to really wait for the deep sleep- if I slip out when I think he's asleep I invariably lie down and close my eyes only to hear him cry awake again (argh).  I'm not sure what to do because he naps well and goes down easily during the day and at night (generally). He is put to bed drowsy but awake and settles himself. During the evening (i.e between bedtime and 11pm-ish when we go to bed) he wakes and tends to resettle himself or we might go in and put his dummy in/give him a little drink of water and he resettles.
So I'm not sure what to do- I'm not sure how we can apply another approach, just for this one period of the night.
I'm starting to think I need to pay someone to come here- I just can't seem to get him sleep through... what am I doing wrong? Any advice welcome!

W 6:30am
E 6:45am bottle (200ml approx)
   7:30 am solids (yoghurt, oats etc)
S: 9:30am
W: 11
E: 11:15  bottle (approx. 150 ml)
    12 solids (tuna, avacado etc)
S: 2
W: 3:30
E: 3:45ish bottle (approx. 100-150 ml)
E: 4:45/5 solids
bath
S: 6:30 (with a bottle before bed, approx. 200ml)

[Kellyjs]

Hi, sorry you're going through this  . Your easy looks fab, wish I had that at that age 

How long has these long NW's been going on hun? Are they every night? Do you notice a pattern ie if the naps are a bit shorter that day or longer then the NW's are worse?

Also, how long has he been on two naps for? Have you noticed any separation anxiety during the day atm, like crying when you leave the room? Oops so sorry for all the questions it just helps to try and get the full picture xx

[mazza123]

Thanks for replying!
Well, he has always woken through the night- but it used to be mixed up with feeds etc and then it settled to sometimes only waking for his feed, and now he is weaned off his feed overnight (he doesn't need it and even if we feed him he has very little, so it isn't hunger) he continues to wake up.
He wakes up every night, it doesn't seem to be impacted by naps- he had a few days where his naps were short (i.e. 1 hour) and so he woke up early and was wide awake so we just gave him three naps of one hour (because he had finished his second nap by 2pm and couldn't get through to bedtime without another nap)- that made no difference.
I can't pick him up to console him, he resists that, really I just need to pat him and he is quiet but it's as if he needs to go through a whole cycle to go back to sleep 45-1hour later.
He's been on two naps for around a month I guess. He does get separation anxiety when I leave the room, a bit, when he notices- so he will cry a bit. But he will go off to sleep on his own, he doesn't need cuddling or patting when he goes down.
I want a magic spell to make him sleep through!

[Kellyjs]

How is he if you try to leave the room during the NW hun? So go to him when he's upset, do your patting until he's quiet, then whisper that mummy is going back to bed now and go to leave the room? Of course come straight back if he starts up again, then rinse and repeat. Wdyt? It may get worse before it gets better though.

I'm always pro telling them what you're doing as sneaking out will only freak them out if they wake again and you're not there. I'm not too sure what else to suggest hun, you're doing amazing otherwise. It may just be one of those developmental blips we need to ride out xx

[mazza123]

Thanks- yes I could try that. It would be better if he dropped off without being patted because then he wouldn't wake himself up and realise it isn't happening anymore. I will try that. I've tried discussing it with him before bed time but he seems not to be taking on board my suggestion that he just sleeps through
I just keep hoping it will fall away and he'll get through- last night was 3 wake ups but none of them was as long so maybe there is some progress.

[Kellyjs]

It might not help, but I was up with my 2yo 4 times last night  . I'm afraid there's just no magic pill to make them sleep through. What you're doing is perfect, I'm sure it'll get better in time. I think it'll help if you're not in there so long as it'll take you ages to get back to sleep xx

[mazza123]

Every night I think this is going to be the night! We've had a night where the waking was in the evening and he slept through, then two nights of waking through the night- but I have hope because he can put himself back to sleep after stirring sometimes. I'm crossing my fingers that after he moves through this 'stormy' wonder week period that he moves into sleeping through. It will happen, I hope! Thanks for the support, I'll check back in and let you know how we get on.

[Kellyjs]

Please do let me know hun, really hope it keeps getting better xx