New to BW and need help!

[Tjss2010]

My DS just turned 4 months on the 23rd (18 weeks tomorrow ). Some background : from the time we brought him home, he pretty much slept his longest stretch first part of the night and the rest was awful. It really hasn't changed. He has reflux and a dairy allergy so I have eliminated dairy. He no longer cries at night, he's just very squirmy.

I nurse him in our bed at 7:30 and swaddle him after he unlatches. He's normally down in his rocker next to our bed by 8:15. If he's asleep after swaddling him, he's easy to put down. If he wakes up, I rock him for awhile before he falls aslepp. He wakes anywhere from 2-4 hours later (4 is very rare). I nurse him and try to put him down again but he'll only sleep an hour or 2, but 2 is very rare. After that, I'm too tired and nurse him lying down in our bed where I keep him til morning. Between that wake up and morning, he's up every hour or 2. I go to bed when he does because I'm so tired. I hardly see my husband.

I work full time as a teacher and he's in daycare. He sleeps horribly at daycare, and I don't know how to fix that. He hates his bottle (he doesnt take a bottle at home) and only eats about 6-8 oz while there. When he's home with me, he naps in my ergo. We also have a 3 yr old DD.

At his well visit yesterday,  our ped told us to move him to his bed (he's a big guy, trying to roll in his swaddle /rocker), and it isn't safe anymore. I will not let him cry it out. Can someone give me some info/tips/advice on how/were to start with his sleep? I'm currently typing one handed while he nurses/sleeps Thank you so much in advance....I'm exhausted! Also, Im waiting for the BW book to come in at the library. I'm sure I've left some info out, so just ask!

[trimbler]

Hello and welcome to BW forums I'm going to ask someone with more relevant experience to pop over to support you better than I could, but in the meantime will give you my initial thoughts and (((hugs))) as you must be so exhausted

Here's a link with some useful info on shh-pat, which Tracy recommends as a gentle way to teach LOs to get to sleep in their own space, without leaving them to cry it out: Shush-pat - How to
Do you think you could have a go at this over the weekend, say for one nap a day and at BT, starting Friday night? Depending on how it goes you could do other naps in the ergo, to prevent him from getting too overtired as then he'll probably find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Once you get the BW book you'll be able to read all about the EASY routine (an acronym - not necessarily easy!) which I'd also recommend you try to work towards, here's a couple of links to some info on that: Starting EASY - all you need to know and more!
chronological EASY samples, 4-6 months

It's possible that some of his wakings and difficulty settling could be due to over tiredness (OT), so getting him onto a solid routine might help with that, what's his day like at the moment?

The daycare thing is difficult, but hopefully if you work consistently on using shh pat at BT every day, then he'll learn the skills he needs to get to sleep without nursing/rocking, which should have a knock-on effect at nursery to some extent. By about 4mo, most LOs find that they need the same circumstances that they had when they fell asleep, to be recreated every time they wake or stir - whether that's rocking or nursing or something else. So that could explain some of his wakings at night - of course some will be genuine hunger, especially if he doesn't feed well at daycare, but you may find he starts to wake less once he's learnt how to self settle at BT. Or you may find that he wakes but just tosses and turns, maybe fusses a little and then goes back to sleep without needing your help. Tracy encouraged us to slow down and watch our LOs before jumping in to 'fix' the problem, sometimes they do surprise us, remember fussing is not the same as crying

Just to confirm - are you sure he's as comfortable as he can be - ie reflux well under control etc? When you move him into his crib, try inclining it so that his head is higher than his feet,this can help refluxers. Also see Sleep and the reflux baby.

Ok will go and find someone else to pop over here, do have a read of those in the meantime and let us know what you think? Sorry I know I've thrown a lot of info at you, I know you're waiting for the books

[lauradj]

PP has made some wonderful suggestions!  I'm sorry you're struggling right now, I cannot imagine how you teach all day and are up all night.  The fact that your DS is up so frequently makes me think he's likely in discomfort, probably from the reflux.  One thing I was told, DS2 has reflux as well, was to keep baby upright for 20-30 minutes after each feed.  I managed to do that just fine during the day but at night I only ever really made it 10 minutes but even that small amount might help. 
Is he on medication?  It's hard with reflux babies because some will feed for comfort, whereas others, mine included, won't take much because it hurts afterwards.  Once DS2 was on the proper medication, he was much happier but they typically only medicate if baby isn't gaining weight.  Have a look at our reflux board and if think DS would benefit from medication, talk to your doctor.  There's no harm in asking. 

[Tjss2010]

Thank you both so much for your replies! To answer the questions: yep, we were hoping to start tonight! I think you're right and he's very OT. His day looks like this...wakes between 5:30-7 and nurses. My husband takes both kids to school by 8:15. He "takes" his first bottle between 9:30 and 10 of 3oz. Nams for about 20-30 min. Takes another bottle between noon and 1. Takes another nap between 30-45 min (one time he slept for an hr and 20!). I pick him up by 3:30 and when we get home, he nurses for awhile, then naps for a couple of hours until 7ish. Rarely he's up before then. Then we do the same bedtime routine and I'm nursing him by 7:30 and he's down by 7:45/8:15. His reflux is medicated. He takes 15mg of prevacid. He projectile vomits still and sleeps on an inclined rocker. I do keep him inclined for as long as I can after he nurses, but in the middle of the night, I do nurse him lying down. I wonder of his squirminess is due to the reflux and from eating lying down? He is also allergic to dairy, so I've eliminated that.

Thank you for all the links and info! I will check them out and see how to get started. I'll be home for 2 weeks at Christmas time so I might try then to work on naps. How many nights might it take before we start seeing a difference?

Again, thank you so much!

[lauradj]

The thing to keep in mind with reflux babies is that you cannot use PU/PD with them, that only aggravates the reflux, as does crying.  Basically, until the reflux is under control, the suggestion is you do whatever you can to help them get to sleep.  That's why I think it may be time to up your LO's meds.  My DS2 was only on meds until he was 6 months but he was on 2.4mg of raniditine every day (.8 3x a day).  I don't have any experience with prevacide but maybe check in with your doctor.
It's also possible this is a routine issue as well, do you want to post your EASY and we can take a peek?  It's a little hard to tell his routine from what you posted above 

[Buntybear]

Hi - in terms of the dairy allergy have you also thought about eliminating soy as they can often be related. x

[trimbler]

Hey there, just checking in, wondering how the week has gone?