Author Topic: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap  (Read 1747 times)

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Offline LaraDaisy

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11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« on: November 29, 2015, 12:15:05 pm »
Hi everyone!
Getting desperate here: my 11,5mo spirited little guy is refusing to go down even for one nap per day. He used to be on two naps since about 8 mo, about a week ago he started refusing to nap, had a couple of days of 1 nap, but it was difficult to put him down, but now yesterday and today he just refuses to go down for nap, today he has been up for 5+ hours and he is playing ok, whenever I try to even take him in my arms he just starts fighting me and trying to break out... but up till 1 week ago even 4hrs of A was not easy for him and now the 5+hrs A - what is happening???
I will post his last days but i cannot now, as he comes to me and starts pulling himself up on the desk and finds the cables, so I will be able to do it later. But maybe there is some kind of regression that I know nothing about?
thanks a lot in advance!!!
Lara

Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2015, 14:44:47 pm »
Usually growth spurts and development leaps happen around birthdays and half birthdays so that may be part of it! Also if he is spirited then I bet he had cottoned on to the fact that he is missing out when he naps. Wondering about his routine, but I see you will post that later!
Heidi




Offline 1stimer

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #2 on: November 29, 2015, 18:51:49 pm »
DD was spirited and went through this. Her tired to OT window was so small that somedays if we missed it even by 5 minutes it was awful. We had to really set the stage, and we made her room a no play zone so she knew it was sleeping only. Whenever she would go down for naps and BT we made it seem like everyone was going to bed. We would turn off the tv, lights etc. Everyone would say goodnight. So she wouldn't suffer from the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out !!) Her room had to be as dark as possible and her sound machine going. Her window was so blocked up with blankets and black out curtains...there was never any sunlight in her room until she stopped napping around 2.





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Offline LaraDaisy

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2015, 21:49:07 pm »
So I got him to fall asleep but it was not easy, he started asking for a bottle and then fell asleep while drinking... It is not the first time he does it and it worries me. I try to feed him before the time I think he would go down for a nap, but it seems it gives him more energy to play...
So, our routine for the last few days:
saturday 21/11
WU 6-10
S 10-05 till 12-05
S 15-55 till 16-30
BT 19-35
NW 2 and 2-30

sunday 22/11
WU 6-10
S 9-50 till 11-00
S 15-45 till 16-15 (and he was resisting this nap a lot, he was difficult to put down)
BT 19-35
NW 23-00, 4-30 - ate 150ml and i took him in our bed

monday 23/11
WU 6-50
S 11-20 (was demanding the bottle and fell asleep while drinking it) till 12-20
refused to go down for the 2nd nap, fell asleep during evening bottle at around 17-35, I let him have a short nap of 15 min and woke him up for a bath and some more food)
BT 19-30
no NWs

tuesday 24/11
WU 6-00
S 11-15 (tried to put him to sleep since 10, but only worked at 11) till 12-40, he woke up crying and seemed like he could sleep some more, so i walked around with him, and he fell back asleep after 5 or 10 min, in my arms, I had a nap with him next to me till 13-40
BT 18-45
NW 21-00 and 2-00
 
wednesday 25/11
WU 6-25
S 12-10 (was demanding for a bottle and fell asleep immediately after) till 13-30, woke up crying, fell back alseep in my arms, had a nap wioth him till 14-30
BT 19-05
a lot of NWs, would wake up after 1,5 hrs of sleep and take long to fall back asleep, screaming. I took him in my bed somewhere during the night, but he kept waking up screaming

thursday 26/11
WU 5-30
S 9-00 till 9-40 (could not keep him up any longer)
S 13-50 till 14-50
BT 19-00
a lot of NWs, as well, similar to previous night, a lot of screaming

friday 27/11
WU 5-45
S 9-00 till 10-45
S 14-45 till 15-15
BT 19-10
I heard him around 2, but i did not go to him and he fell back asleep.
On Friday we went to see a doctor as the sleepless nights were killing me and I had a strong suspicion something was wrong. He has one ear full of ear wax that was covering the whole ear drum, possibly it was causing discomfort. Since Friday we use special ear drops to soften the wax and since then the nights got better. Fingers crossed.

saturday WU 5-50
S 12-25 (copuld not put him down, was trying every few minutes, in the end I just kept putting him down and after a bit of this PUPD and some screaming he fell asleep till 13-35, woke up crying, i tried to resettle, but did not work, he was hungry, had two bottles in the end.
BT 18-25
no NWs, but woke up at 5-15, had a bottle and fell back asleep and together we slept till 7-45!!!

Sunday (today)
WU 7-45
S 13-45 (only after the bottle, even though he ate at 11-30 and had a bottle at 12-30), slept till 15-00
BT 19-40

So, I clearly see that when his nights are bad, he has 2 naps to compensate. When his nights are good, he does not want to go down for a nap after 4hrs of A time. Even though just 10 days ago, his A time rarely went over 4 hrs.

In general, the last two months have been really bad in terms of sleep for him. We spent 5 weeks visiting my family and there he just did not sleep, I decided that it was the place and new environment but in the 5 weeks there, he never got used to it. Then we came back home and after a few good days and nights he started teething, then he got some kind of virus and then an otitis on top of that, all that on top of teething (4teeth on the top) completely ruined his sleep for a few weeks. After a round of antibiotics things started to improve and then again two horrible nights. And now the last two nights are good. So I am really hoping that at least the nights are going to stay good for a while, but now his naps are just a mystery to me...
The problem is as well that his sleepy queues are totally not there anymore. He never had them very strong, but i knew what to look out for and then he would gladly accepting being transferred to his bed. But now he just starts screaming and tries to break out of my arms whenever I try to transfer him to the bedroom. I ask him if he is not tired, I ask him if he wants to go in my arms and then go to sleep, but he just seems not interested. And then he asks for a bottle and falls alseep with it, even though he never had a bottle as a mean to fall asleep, he was BFed exclusively till 4mo, and then bottle fed since 7mo. But i made sure that there was no bottle to sleep association.

Usually growth spurts and development leaps happen around birthdays and half birthdays so that may be part of it! Also if he is spirited then I bet he had cottoned on to the fact that he is missing out when he naps. Wondering about his routine, but I see you will post that later!
GS and development leaps can also mess the naps so much?

DD was spirited and went through this. Her tired to OT window was so small that somedays if we missed it even by 5 minutes it was awful. We had to really set the stage, and we made her room a no play zone so she knew it was sleeping only. Whenever she would go down for naps and BT we made it seem like everyone was going to bed. We would turn off the tv, lights etc. Everyone would say goodnight. So she wouldn't suffer from the dreaded FOMO (fear of missing out !!) Her room had to be as dark as possible and her sound machine going. Her window was so blocked up with blankets and black out curtains...there was never any sunlight in her room until she stopped napping around 2.

So, possibly I am missing his sleep window. I thought about that and on some days I literally tried getting him to his bedroom every 5 min, but it did not work so well. If I cannot see his sleep window, who can? and what to do then?
His bedroom is as dark as we can make it. I use white noise for night sleep, but not for naps as he seems to have good or bad naps irrespective of that.
And there is such thing as fear of missing out??? in a one year old??? Oh my! I am really lucky to have been blessed with a spirited boy then :)

thanks a lot ladies for your help!!!

Lara

Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2015, 22:54:35 pm »
Well my kids for sure hate missing out! I would say in my experience development leaps can affect everything. Is he perhaps ready to start the 2-1 switch?  Honestly past 5/6 months we never got much for sleepy signs. We eventually just did set naps and bedtime to make it easier.
Heidi




Offline 1stimer

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2015, 23:46:26 pm »
Lol yes FOMO Is real even for little ones !! It does seem he's had tons going on as of late so between the long visit and sickness he's gonna be off a little. And like Heidi said he's probably read for 2-1 and that can be a little bumpy to start. With dd it always seemed like we always had *something* going on to mess up naps or bt since spirited los are easily energized ķor so they think)





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Offline LaraDaisy

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2015, 09:46:57 am »
Well my kids for sure hate missing out! I would say in my experience development leaps can affect everything. Is he perhaps ready to start the 2-1 switch?  Honestly past 5/6 months we never got much for sleepy signs. We eventually just did set naps and bedtime to make it easier.
I think he is ready for the switch to 1 nap. And in case of no sleepy signs and if LO is fighting to go to bed, how do you make him fall asleep? If I put my son in his bed, when he is not already sleepy, he just gets up, screaming, and stands on the side of the bed closer to the door, reaching with his hands for the door and screaming his head off!
Lara

Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2015, 13:28:48 pm »
This is one of the things you can't make them do - sleeping, eating and toileting are all totally under their control. But if he is freaking out perhaps he is ut at those times? Might be worth getting him up and trying again in 15 min. Also it could be tied to separation anxiety as they go through that at various stages too. Switching to one nap will help too as then he won't be ut.
Heidi




Offline LaraDaisy

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2015, 18:38:12 pm »
When is freaking out I take him out and we have some more A time, I cannot tolerate much crying. So I do what you say: just try a bit later. Today again he went down right after his bottle. For BT he does not need it. I am a bit struggling with my approach to it, on one hand I do not like to have a bottle to sleep habit, but if his BT routine is not affected is it such a bad thing?
Lara

Offline MasynSpencerElliotte

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #9 on: December 01, 2015, 19:47:36 pm »
It is really bad for their teeth though, unless you can fit brushing teeth in right between bottle and bed. It is totally possible to have a nap prop that doesn't affect bedtime. We always had a holding prop (on purpose) for the catnap but it never became an issue for any other sleep. How long of A time have you tried?
Heidi




Offline Noelie

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2015, 21:41:26 pm »
Hi, no solution to offer, but sending hugs and sympathy. I agree you're in for the 2-1.

Our spirited LO have lots in common... we've just been through the 2-1 transition at 11mo, A time of 6+ hours, 1 nap of 1.5h, basically she needs less sleep than me, she never wants to go to bed, she has never ever been sleepy in her life, independent sleep is not in sight for us, if we leave her, she stands in her cot until exhaustion and she'd rather hurt herself when she starts falling over instead of lying down and sleep. FOMO definitely. (She hates lying down so much that even at the doctor she has to be measured standing up). During the transition, be ready to mix and match: 1 or 2 naps a day for a little while. 2 naps will become an extinct species of the past soon. Also, I've found out the hard way that morning and afternoon A times don't have to be equal, my LO prefers a shorter afternoon, otherwise she gets OT by BT and wakes up soon after falling asleep.

ah and the cables, the CABLES, the mighty computer cables... 

Offline LaraDaisy

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Re: 11mo refusing to go down even for 1 nap
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2016, 21:13:44 pm »
Sorry it has been a while - we had a very long stay at my in-laws where of course both DS and NS went completely nuts! We have been home for a week and are still trying to sort things out with the naps and NWs.

Hi, no solution to offer, but sending hugs and sympathy. I agree you're in for the 2-1.

ah and the cables, the CABLES, the mighty computer cables... 
Thank you, Noelie! it is so great to know that we are not the only ones with a difficult child!!! Somehow everybody else we know either have easy sleeping babies or just do CIO...

It is really bad for their teeth though, unless you can fit brushing teeth in right between bottle and bed. It is totally possible to have a nap prop that doesn't affect bedtime. We always had a holding prop (on purpose) for the catnap but it never became an issue for any other sleep. How long of A time have you tried?
I have tried everything from 3 hrs to 6 hrs and every day is different, which is quite frustrating! The good thing is that the bottle to sleep prop is out of the picture, but he keeps refusing his naps and NWs are still making our life difficult... But now my LO is a toddler and I think it is a whole different thing, so off to read toddler sleep board!


Lara