my 1 month old hates her arms being swaddled

[kwozzie]

My baby HATES her arms being swaddled. Does anyone know if there are any good ways to stop the startle reflex from waking her up without swaddling her arms? She likes to try to self soothe with her hands and i use a dummy when she won't stop crying before sleep.

[michaeljacknnugg]

You can stay with her and gently hold her arms through the jolts.

[nevinsmama]

My DD appeared teh same, but a MUCH tighter swaddle really helped her settle and sleep more soundly. And yes, as MJ&N said, you can hold her through the jolts too. Sometimes crying before sleep can mean LO is OT, if you want to post what a "typical" day is like ( whatever is typical for a 4 week old!) we are happy to take a look!

[grace annes mommy]

I've heard great things about these:

http://www.sleepingbaby.com/

[kwozzie]

Thanks, I think I will try the angel swaddle technique 

[Elizabea]

Mine is the same way! I have tried a tight swaddle using  Aden and Anais blankets (a few methods: arms at sides, across chest, DuDu method..), a Swaddle Me, a Woombie, and now a miracle blanket. If it is loose he escapes and wakes up fussing, if it is tight and he is anything but PERFECTLY exhausted he just cried and tries to wriggle free. I have him on a schedule of awake, eat, activity, sleep all within an hour.  The swaddle thing is becoming more of an issue each day as he fights and fights and it is shortening his sleep from 2 to 3 hour chunks at night to now 30-55 minutes and in the day 2 hr naps to 30 min after fighting the swaddle (off and on: I take a break after 25-30 minutes then try again in 15-20 min). I tried letting him sleep arms free and swaddled just below but he woke after 25 min due to his startle reflex. I am in the same boat as you and have no idea what to do now I would love for him to be able to sleep arms free, or even (as I suspect he wants from tummy time as he always falls asleep during it) let him just sleep on his belly if SIDS wasn't a risk sigh. I have a two year old too so the nap issues  interfere with our day and the night issues with my energy for the toddler during the day.

[trimbler]

Hi Elizabea and welcome to BW How old is your LO? Just something else to consider - you could try holding his arms firmly but gently from just before the 25min mark if his startle reflex is strong and disturbing his sleep. He may startle a few times before easing back off into deep sleep. As for tummy sleeping, depending on his age it might be something you could discuss with your health professionals, we can never advise that on here due to the SIDS advice as you know, but might be worth discussing with someone medical. Do you think there could be digestive discomfort perhaps, that would make tummy sleeping more comfortable for him? Perhaps if he went on medication for that, he would find back sleeping easier? Many tiny LOs find sleeping upright in a sling is most comfortable, don't be afraid to try that if you haven't already, especially with a toddler in tow, don't worry about it becoming a prop if he's still under 3mo and sleeps in crib at other times.

[Elizabea]

Hi! Thank you for welcoming me and replying. Your reply notice got sent to my junkmail so I just saw it eek! This is still a problem though so I am going to reply regardless of delay (and I changed setting so that doesn't happen again).
He is now 6 weeks old. I like the idea of holding his arms but unfortunately I also have a 2 year old toddler at home with me so I don't think that is an option for us right now
I am going to see our ped. on the 30th so I will discuss tummy sleeping. He can now hold his head up really well and roll over from tummy to back so I am thinking we are getting really close to that as a solution if it is okayed (although I would only be ok with it for naps I think), if only his startle response doesn't mess that up as well.
I have a very strong let down and I notice he swallows a lot of air during BF (I can hear it poor little guy) so  do think at times GI distress from gas could be an issue. Last night I played around with different burping methods as the upright/over shoulder one doesn't seem to work for him in the night (which is odd, it works great in the day, but at night he just falls asleep lol). But many of the other burping options are really hard to do with a swaddled baby in the dark. Luckily he is a pretty chill baby so he didn't fuss but it sure was funny last night with my trying to figure out different methods!

 We are using the miracle blanket now and while he can't get out of it 99% of the time he does spend a lot of the night trying, and he has managed to break out about 2 times. I have found I can't make it super tight as recommended as he is sure to go ballistic then, but that it does help him sleep longer stretches and if it is a bit loose he goes to sleep much easier. The nightly struggling with it is just making the little guy stronger lol.  I can't wait until he is old enough to lose the startle response! He is such a good little baby and the EASY schedule and some early no cry sleep training methods have already worked so well for him, if only this swaddle thing wasn't so distressing for him!

[trimbler]

Hey there, don't worry about the delay in replying, many of us (me included) have been away anyway so may not have been able to reply promptly even if you had

Will be interesting to hear what the doc has to say about tummy sleeping, I've heard that it can really help with the startle reflex, but of course you need to take advice from your doc about safety. With your strong let-down, have you had any advice on that? The bf boards here would give you more advice, but from my own experience (and help I received on here), feeding in a reclined (I.e. Laid back) position can help a bit with that, have you tried? Other reasons for swallowing lots of air during feeding could be a poor latch, which may or may not be related to tongue tie - have you discussed with a lactation consultant?

[Elizabea]

Thank you for understanding! I have not seen a lactation consultant yet but I am scheduled to see one soon. He has a great latch and has generally adapted to the strong let-down (he lets some milk dribble out). I will pop over to the BF boards now to see what they might have to say about it, thank you for the reminder!

I am actually hopeful since you mentioned it that it has something to do with GI distress! Last night I was able to get a burp out of him when he was fighting the swaddle the most. He still fought it after that but not as aggressively. What a curious little man I have!

[trimbler]

There's a lot of detective work to do for all of us on this parenting journey Keep us posted