Almost 3 and wakes in middle of night when he skips naps

[karindmor]

My son will be 3 next week. That's also when my due date for #2 is. My son will have quiet time everyday where he's expected to play quietly in his room or sleep. It used to be that if he didn't fall asleep, I would put him to bed earlier that night and he would still sleep all night long until the next morning. But now, he'll wake up consistently when he doesn't take a nap. He has preschool T/TR. He has the option to eat lunch there and I usually let him stay until 1pm on Tuesdays, but he hasn't been eating his lunch, so I think I'm going to pick start skipping that and just pick him up at 12 instead. With that said, I think preschool riles him up and makes it hard for him to nap. But he also doesn't nap some days when he doesn't have preschool, so I don't know what to think. I know he still needs a nap bc he has the night wakings when he doesn't. I'm starting to get nervous with the new baby coming bc he only wants me in his room and freaks out when my husband goes in. A typical day for him is waking at 7, laying down for a nap around 12 or 1...when he does take a nap, it takes him forever to fall asleep and sometimes he's not asleep until 230 or 3. When that happens, I let him sleep until 4, but then he's going to sleep much later around 8 and not falling asleep until 930 sometimes. He won't night wake then, but he'll still wake up at 7. When he doesn't nap, I'll have him asleep by 6:45-7 so that it's a 12 hour day. And sometimes hell night wake around 1:30-2 and other times it's around 4. I give him some water and then try to just tuck him in, but other times he's upset and wants me to hold him. Like I said, when my husband goes it, it gets him realiy upset. Not sure what I'm supposed to do when the baby comes bc I know I can't hold him forever, nor do I want to bc I know I'll be waking soon with the new baby.

So what can I do about his naps?
What should I do about his night wakings? And so that my husband can help too?

[jessmum46]

I'd try a shorter day on a no-nap day in the first instance, some people even go as short as 10-10.5h.  Maybe pull BT back 30 mins to start with so 6.15/30 and see how that goes, and pull back earlier if necessary.  If he does nap I'd cut it shorter so bedtime doesn't get so late as those short nights will be adding to a build up of over tiredness.  With a similar WU and bedtime I cut naps to just a 20 minute catnap if DD didn't sleep until 3ish or say 45 mins if she slept by 2.30pm, which (mostly) kept bedtime to 7/7.30pm. 

Be aware also some of what's going on could be developmental with the birthday coming up and with the baby coming soon he may be wanting to feel close to you.  I would try for lots of cuddles in the day if that's what seems to 'fill his mummy cup' and then be clear about limits in the night.  There's not a right or wrong way of handling the NWs, just what works for your family, but consistency is key.  Here I will always go to my two if they wake at night but interaction is pretty much kept to taking DD to the toilet if she needs it, telling them it is sleep time, tucking in and then leaving.  Obviously returning if upset but not changing what I do, just reiterating it is sleep time and that everyone needs to rest.  The only exceptions would be for illness really.  I think if you have mainly dealt with NWs so far there will be some upset if DH starts taking over but I would expect that if DH consistently deals with NWs for a few days that it will become easier and LO will accept the 'new rules'.  Probably better now than when the new LO arrives!

Good luck with the birth and I hope things start to settle down soon