How do I get my 11 month old back on track after regression?

[Jmpratt]

Kelly!!!!!  We Sttn!!

Here's last nights report!

BT 845, went right down no crying
NW 12 and 3 just cried out and right back to sleep!!
EW 6 cried out, tri d to put herself back, I went an
D nursed, dozed until 650 and up for the day

845-6 not bad at all!!

Best night in months!!!!!

Today

WU 7ish
Nap 11-1245 (I napped and then decided to wake her up at 1245) went right to sleep, self soothed
Nap 330-415 woke her here too, rocked but for l so than 5 min
BT 830, went right to sleep no crying!
Still asleep and hoping she didn't get too much daytime sleep with that first nap

I wanted to write you all day yesterday and today tonshare the good news.

I'm trying to just stay in the moment and not start hoping that it stays this way....expectations are dangerous! 

Thank you so much.  I'm wondering of course if her teeth are giving her a break, if she's moving through the walking milestone, or if the nap schedule and GW are helping, but I will keep doing my part and help her with the rest! 

I can't imagine how it feels to hear that your help works and that your having an impact on a mommy and her LO across the globe.

[Kellyjs]

Yay!!  amazing news. You're my second in as many days, so I'm feeling pretty happy for you both 

I think this longer day is really working for you now, that's brilliant. I think aside from the tweak to the routine, this is all your hard work and you should be very pleased with yourself. Honestly, you and she have come so far from where we started. You enjoy this!! Do keep in touch and pop back if anything goes awry ok? Xx

[Jmpratt]

Thanks for your affirmations!

We're still doing well aside from Daddy putting her to sleep for the second time ever, she cried for about 15 min while he sat next to bed then put herself to sleep.

She woke 12am and 6am last night but I think she was hungry-we have a had time distracting her to drink and we let her snack instead of stretch it out so she has the full bottle. 

So 2 questions at this point:

1. What do you think is causing the 5-6 am WU?  Hunger, missing us, UT?  It's much improved, I'm never satisfied am I??
2. We are traveling for the help holiday.  This set us back before bc we started giving her a bottle to go back to sleep.  Any tips? 

Thanks!!!!! 

[Kellyjs]

It could well be that first nap needs pushing out again, but I do wonder if teething might be patting a part? It's a prime age for it. Does she go back to sleep?

Travelling is always a difficult one as they're usually overstimulated too with the extra people. I would try and just be as consistent as you can be during the time away. I have a feeling we'll be tweaking the routine anyway after the holidays. I said this on another thread too, it may actually surprise you what she can handle. With the extra excitement, they can sleep better at night and for naps sometimes. I remember going away with DD when she was 1yo to this huge family party. Think she was having a leap of some sorts because she took a great nap there and managed to sleep through an actual disco that was on the mezzanine level right outside her room! Not a peep! Does that help any? Xx

[Jmpratt]

Yes, that helps.  I'm just wondering if you would recommend trying to avoid feeding to sleep again or just try to keep the routine and do what it takes to help her if she wakes in the night? That disco story is fantastic.  Your DD will love hearing that story when she is older!

I am 75% sure LO is teething, teeth have cut through and are making their way.  I gave ibuprofen and orajel but she couldn't settle so I gave a bottle.  She woke 2 hrs later and same minus the medicine.  She has a hard time soothing when she does wake up.  I can't really do the gradual withdrawal for nw's she becomes more distressed.  Maybe that means I really need to do it but not when I know. She is in pain. 

Last night it was BT 830, nw at 1145 and 2 and then slept til 8.

Just left wondering why she can only sttn 1-2 nights at a time.  There is always something.  Other babies must sttn more consistently!  My toddler did but we used a different sleep training that involved controlled crying with her so I'm always wondering if that was why.

LO only got  1 45 min nap and 1 35 min nap today....we'll see how the night goes. 

My toddler (truth be told, I don't know what DD stands for but I think it is the oldest child?!) just woke up from vomiting!  A change of pace! 

Love this job is even with little sleep! 

[Kellyjs]

Oh bless you, you're always so positive. All bubbas are different. I do know that CC won't help in the long term, as you know we don't really support it here. I think that routine will need a tweak especially if 45mins naps are coming back, but hesitant to change too much if teething. You could try adding 10-15mins onto the first. A and see if that makes a difference?

DD stands for dear daughter, DS for dear son. I think if you have an older one they'd say DD1 and DD2 for example. There's a whole list of acryon,s and their meanings on the welcome part of the forum 

I hope your toddler feels better soon xx

[Jmpratt]

Hello!

Here again!  Hope your enjoying your holiday.

After our traveling and an ear infection that has started to be medicated....here we are.

WU 745/8
Nap 11-12
Nap 230/3-330/4
BT between 7-830 depending on last nap

Nw's consistently 1130 and 130 and sometimes 5 or 6am too.

She is going to bed at BT like a pro and knows what to expect!  But still wakes during the night.  It doesn't seem to matter how much milk she gets during the day.  So don't think it's hunger anymore. 

Since she got sick, we started giving a bottle at NWs.  How do I start doing GW with her for NW's?  I'm gonna start reading some of the night waking posts and replies but just. Wanted to check in with you too. 

She sttn 2 nights then nw's came back and I fed her automatically thinking well she can sttn do she must be hungry.  Just saw pediatrician today and he said she is old enough and weighs enough to sleep 7 straight hours without eating.  I know she's teething but want to stop feeding every time she wakes up.   Sh screams and flails whe. We don't give her the bottle right away bc she is so conditioned to it.  If I try to do what I do at. BT she screa,s and let's me know how mad she is about it. 

Obviously I'm gonna wait til the meds start helping with her ear infection. 

Ugh!  Thanks!

[Kellyjs]

((Hugs)) we had an ear infection over Xmas too! It sucks. I really wouldn't suggest any sleep training until she's all better I'm afraid. Maybe carry on as you are for a few days until she finishes her antibiotics? Then we can revist xx

[Jmpratt]

Thanks!! Last. Night was extremely rough, she must have been in a lot of pain.

I'll check back in soon.

[Kellyjs]

Poor you, we had it too throughout Xmas. It sucks. Medicate as often as you can and make sure she's getting enough water too, that's what my DD wanted throughout the night  . It might be the AB's dehydrate them slightly. Oh and her poo was awful too.. Just something to watch out for now I've seen it xx

[Jmpratt]

Hey!  Hope you all are getting healthy again!  It was awful. 

So my LO is almost all better.  Has been sleeping better already.  Still NW's though.  Still feeding. 

And stretching A times to 5 hrs these last few days.

Here are the last few days schedules:

WU 745
Nap 11-12
Nap 2-3
BT 8, couldn't self soothe so rocked to sleep

Nw at 3, nursed went right back

WU 8
Nap 12-1
Nap 240-4
BT 9

Nw 1am, bottle and rig.ht back to sleep

Today
WU 7 (couldn't put herself back to sleep, 1 less hour than usual, 10 hrs of OVS
Nap 12-2 (tried 11 but wasn't tired)
I decided to try skipping 2nd nap!  I'm really nervous how she'll do especially bc BT has been 8 or later for awhile. 
Gonna try 7 BT Tony get which will be 5 hrs A time. 

I'll keep you posted.

As for night feedings, help!

[Kellyjs]

I think we might have to cut them cold turkey now. It will be rough for a few night but it will get better. She's old enough not to need them now. Could you have someone else take over the night shift for a couple of nights at the weekend? It might be easier for them to resettle her than you, as you offer the feed. Perhaps a full shake up could be what's needed? Alternatively if you're up for it, I would stick to it and don't ever back down. Do it once and you'll be back to square one I'm afraid. How do you feel about that?

As the protesting may get quite loud, I'd try and settle her in the cot first using your words. Just don't start something you're not prepared to carry on with like rocking as that'll just be substituting one prop for another iykwim. Try and keep as calm as you can. Use your words as much as possible as they really do understand more than we give them credit for at this age.

I think with the new routine the NW's should lessen in time anyway as I always had a strong suspicion she was UT. I want to also keep an eye on that last A as many bubbas don't like 5hrs either side of a nap, preferring to have one longer and one shorter A or vice versa.

What we have seen is that after a shortish night she can do 5hrs quite comfortably and that yields a 2hr nap. It may be that if she has a better night sleep she might do a bit longer.

The transition does take time and there will be NW's from that anyway, but I think if we just get rid of these feeds once and for all, it'll be better for you both long term. What do you think? Are you up for it? Normally what happens is that the first night is horrendous, second night a bit better, then we usually see a slight regression on day 3 or 4, then it gets much better again (just to for warn you  )l I'm here for you every step of the way xx

[Jmpratt]

That's what I thought you might say-cold turkey 😁  I am up for it, just trying to time it right!  Thanks so much for the warning and what to expect.  And what to do and not do when that time comes. 

As far as the 5 hr A time, it happened again today bc daycare did nap 2 from 215-3.  BT is not til 830 on a regular basis.  She made it ok but couldn't self soothe.  What do you suggest when this happens?  I end up picking her up and rocking her to sleep, she has slept ok after this even though I'm letting her fall asleep on me.  I know it's regressing but don't feel I can expect her to self soothe when I know she's been up for over 5 hrs!  I plan on asking daycare if she can make sure nap is btw 3-430. 

Let me know any thoughts.  I keep trying to move to the next Stage in GW but then the schedule changes. 

Oh yes, she had a hard time the night I didn't do 2nd nap. Not as bad as I expected but not good either.  Here is where we are:

Daycare
WU 730 ish
Nap 11-12
Nap 2/3-3/4
BT 830ish (normally exactly 13 hrs from WU!)

Home
WU 730ish
Nap 12-2 (I may cap this for now or try to push it later like you suggested)
Nap 4-430
BT 830

Nw's are random- last night was 1230 and then 130, hard to settle, fed still, maybe teething. Ugh. Not sure what else since nw's have been later like 3 or 5 and easy to settle with feeding. 

Sorry- rambling now! 

Thanks so much for all of the thought and energy you put into helping. 

Julie

[Jmpratt]

Ps.  On that first night, is there anything you suggest outside of using my words to reassure?  She cries so loud it's hard to believe that will help.  I will do it but am nervous that I will want to pick her up, so just not rock, right?  I got that.  Maybe pick her up hug her then put her back?  Again this is for when things get really bad.  Snot everywhere, coughing, etc.  highest pitch scream imaginable.  😭

[Kellyjs]

Hiya Julie.

Hmmm, is there any way you can do a slightly EBT on those days when the routine gets messed up? I'd much prefer a slightly earlier wu in the morning than all that faffing trying to get her to sleep at night. Wdyt? Ideally if daycare could move the nap that'll be ideal though. How many days is she at daycare? If it's more than 2 I'd actually think about keeping that 2hr nap as she might need it to catch up. As long as she's not refusing the second nap. Have you noticed a difference to the NW's when she's at dc or at home?

If you feel like you need to pick her up then do it hun. But what we need to make sure is that that again doesn't turn into a prop. When DD used to get particularly upset and my hand on her and words didn't work, I'd pick her up, give her a cuddle and keep repeating my sleepy phrase that 'it's time for sleep now, I'm putting you back to bed'. Lay her down and keep my hand on her just a minute, sshing as well. Do you think that's something you could try? Tbh what I've found now is that my actually picking her up to soothe her when she is that upset, upsets her more  . Hence battle of me not wanting to out her down crying and her crying because she wants to be put down. I do wonder if that was always the case now looking back! Now she's in a position to tell me properly! Xx