How do I get my 11 month old back on track after regression?

[Jmpratt]

Kelly!  You're so wonderful, always getting back to me!  I really appreciate it more than you know, or maybe you do know!

Yes, that kind of comfort was what I was thinking.  However, I after tonight, I think my Spirited LO doesn't want anything as it will upset her more.

Here is where we are schedule wise

WU 815 (should've woken her when she stirred at 740)
Nap 1230-230
CN 430-510 (fought some but rocked and fell asleep)
Had to wake her up, later than usual but planned in 9 BT so....
BT, tried at 9pm, she cried and cried, I stuck it out since I was planning on stopping the feedings tonight anyways. She finally put herself to sleep when I covered my face and stopped shushing
At 940.

All I can think of is she got too much sleep, or she understood what I said when I told her no more bottle overnight and that it was going to be hard but I'd be there for her.  She is a smart kiddo but I think it's more likely that she was UT bc of 2.40 min of naps that she's not used to.

I haven't noticed much difference in nw's with dc and home, but easier bt's bc less naps.  I've considered that she's making up for it on weekends.  Ebt has only worked once for us around 7 or 8 months at 6pm.  How early?  Say nap is over at 2/230 like the last few home schedules?  6/630?

And she can't sleep as long at dc bc of the noise and other kids wh are awake.  No group naps there.  So would I keep her doing 2 naps there for awhile or ask her to push it back there too?   Ugh.  So painstaking!  Cant remember how things were with my toddler with this transition, so I have to tell myself it's not just bc of my LO spiritedness! 

And I look forward to the day she can tell me properly! 

[Jmpratt]

OMT, with last nap ending at 3pm, I can try ebt like 7 (4 hr A time) however, it seems like LO's sleep rhythms are set for 740 WU and 840 BT.  Or roundabouts there.  I'd love to move that to 7am and 8pm.  Do you suggest waking her up early and changing her rhythms?  If so, how many days before she adjusts? Roundabouts, not an exact science, right?!

[Jmpratt]

Another update!

Last nights happenings!

BT was 940 by the time she finally soothed
Nw 5am!!
It took her a whole hour to soothe, I'm guessing since its early morning and she was in lighter sleep? It was pretty terrible, she kept soothing then upset again.  I wondered if me being there made it harder but stayed for the long haul!
Slept 6-8am

Today
WU 8
Nap 11-1
CN 4-430
BT 845, cried for about 10 min and asleep by 855
Much. Better!

She ate more today for sure, I'm sure bc she didn't eat overnight. 

My next question (imagine that!) is how do I make it so she knows I'm leaving the room?  feels like I'm tricking her a but bc I'm there when she falls asleep and then not when she wakes up. Is it GW? If so, I'll play in starting that in a few days once we have this down. 

Thanks!  Just figured I'd share the ending to the story I started last night!  So you don't have to be in suspense 😊

[Kellyjs]

Please accept my apologies for my late reply Julie, it's my birthday and it's been busier than i expected!

I think you're right in that it was too much sleep on that other day. She may have pulled closer to a 13 hr day or more with that sleep. Today is much better, but i actually want to shift the day a little more as i think that last A to BT is a little long after only a 30mins CN. I would actually like to see that one closer to 3hrs than 4+. wdyt? Also i notice the A time is much shorter today is that right?

What we could do is work on waking her up earlier in the morning gradually?? So try 7.45am tomorrow and the next day, then 7.30am for a couple of days until we get to 7am. that should bring BT earlier and you get your evenings back  .

Yes, wrt GW you use your words. Soon you'll be sitting closer to the door, then the next stage you tell her mummy is just going to the other side of the door and if she starts, then you can first try using your sleepy phrase from outside the room, if it escalates, then go straight to her and repeat. It starts looking a bit more like wi/wo by then. Hopefully once we have the routine nailed down BT should be easier anyway.

So i want to reduce that last A so we need to add it on elsewhere so your day doesn't get shorter. Can you try adding on 15mins to that first A and onto the second actually too? We're still working on quite low A times for her age, with the routine posted today, the other one should be what we're aiming for i think. But definitely lengthening that second A as no wonder she resisted after a mammoth nap and only 2hrs A. So looking something like this tomorrow, which would be a mixture of the 2 routines you posted...

wu 7.45
A 4hrs 15 (like the other day)
nap 1 12-2
A 3hrs 15mins
Nap 5.15-5.45
A maybe 3hrs? Still might need to tweak this.
BT 8.45     

wdyt? Doable? xx

 

[Jmpratt]

Happy birthday!!!!!  Apology accepted but no need to apologize!! It's your birthday for heavens sake! Hope you enjoyed the celebrations!

I already started waking her up earlier!  740 today 😊 Will keep moving it up. 

As for the nap schedule, I don't think the late nap will work 4 out of 7 days when LO is at dc.  We pick her up between 5-545 plus most of the kids are getting picked up at that time.  Also bc she rarely can sleep more than 1.15-1.30 hrs there.  Average is an hour.  So without that good nap, she won't make it and doesn't make it another 3 hrs.  Days she is home we can do it but then it's not consistent every day. 

I'll chat with dc just in cas she might be able to swing it.  Again, wo the bigger nap, just not sure. 

Last night LO woke at 12 and cried while trying to soothe in the crib til 1:10.  BT got easier but still took 1 hr at NW.  NW was 5am the first night so maybe she's figuring them all out?  We'll see how tonight goes. 

Today's schedule:
WU 740
Nap 10:30-11:10 (maybe bc she lost that hour?)
Nap 130-230 (no sure why this happened so soon)
BT earlier! 720 cried for 10 min and put herself to sleep! 
I was amazed as she was past the 4 hr mark and has a hard time self soothing when OT!
So that gives me hope that she's getting it.  And hope in early BT bc she's been asleep since!
My evening back for now at least!

With WU at 7 maybe routine would be:
WU 7
A. 4.15
Nap 1115-115
A 3.15
Nap 430-5 (this might be more doable at dc)
A 3
BT 8
?


Thx!

[Kellyjs]

This second one looks great and ideally what we should be striving for! If she does a shorter nap at dc, the second nap could kee at the same A, then allow 45mins nap? That should keep the same BT?? xx

[Jmpratt]

Ok great!

As for nw's, LO is only waking at the 3 hr in mark after BT.  Doesn't matter what time BT is, exactly 3 hrs in she wakes. Last 3 nights it's been this way. First night it took an hour. 2nd half hour, 3rd night 45 min.  Any ideas?

[Kellyjs]

Hmm, usually we'd expect OT wu's to be 2hrs after BT so it's missing that magic window there. The fact she's taking an age to get back down i wonder if she's teething again??

If not, I might try a bit of w2s an hour before she usually wakes up to see if it's just becoming habitual. As it's not early morning, I'd definitely give it a go if it were me xx

[trimbler]

Not wanting to contradict but I know that mine will wake around that 3h mark when OT - or for a whole host of other reasons for that matter But discomfort and/or OT will make it much harder for her to settle. Actually she went through a really bad phase of this around 13mo and EBT finally sorted it. Not saying necessarily OT in your case, just that it's not impossible

[Jmpratt]

Thanks so much both of you for weighing in and so quickly! 

I was convinced last night that she was teething and gave Advil.  No evidence this morning though.  I did the new schedule Kelly suggested today and I think LO mght actually be OT w 4 hrs A time before bed. 2.30 A time tonight and she didn't cry at all.  W 4 hr A time, has been crying at BT for past 4 nights. 

WU 740
A 4.50
Nap 1230-2 (didn't put herself to sleep. Cried lots, I helped, then capped)
A 3.15
CN 515-550
A 2.25
BT 815 (in bed at 755, playful, talking, soothing for 20 min)

We will see!  I'm going to hold off on w2s tonight.  If she still wakes up tonight will probably try tomorrow.  Such a guessing game!  Glad to hear your experience Timbler. 

The only other thing I left out is that I let her use my hand when she is falling asleep, I pat on the bed and she falls and grabs my hand and holds it til she falls asleep.  This only started last night (she did it back when we first started method but not for awhile bc I started GW) and not the first night I started night weaning last week, it seemed to upset her more. 

Anyway, I would think that if this was that much of a prop, she'd be waking more than the 3 hr mark but wanted to ask! 

😊

[Kellyjs]

Thanks for weighing in hun, always appreciated

I didn't realise we had a 4hrs to BT when did that happen?  We did say we wanted to reduce that ages ago didn't we? Especially after the shorter nap.

This routine today looks great! I can't believe you managed to get the last A much shorter and right where we'd like it to be, well done you! It might need stretching to 2.5hrs later on but I would like to hold it for now and see how it pans out. Any NW's?

I've actually just suggested this for someone else too. Would it be possible to change up the position of your hand so your hand is on top? It might be easier to reduce the pressure on top of her hand ever so slightly as she drifts off making it easier in the long run? Wdyt? She'll still have your touch but you work on gently lifting your hand as she's settled and starting to drift off xx

[Jmpratt]

Hey!

Thanks for the affirmation!  We've been doing well, 1 nw around the 6 hr mark which might be when Advil wears off and she's definitely teething.  Last night I gave her Advil, orajel, and gave her a cuddle as she was standing in the crib. She laid her head on my shoulder for a minute then laid down and went back to sleep!  Amazing!

So she now has another cold, probably teething related.  😩

Do you suggest stopping the training when bubbas get sick or are teething?  Not sure how the night will go tonight.  I will try to comfort wo picking up and might try giving I her a sippy cup of water unless or until I hear back from you.  I will use my judgment of course and comfort her as I see fit. 

I've been putting her to bed earlier too which has been helping.  Plus she just knows what to expect now bc I've been consistent, at your suggestion!  Thank you. 

Julie

[Kellyjs]

Brilliant news Julie well done you.

I will say this, I personally don't do anything else when DD is ill. I try and be as consistent as can be. I use our sshing and hand on her if she wakes in the night. Medicate as often as I can and be on hand for extra cuddles during the day. Extra ones before BT when going through an unsettled period. One thing Tracy said that I always have in the back of my mind is don't start something you're not prepared to continue with, or words to that effect.

There was a time DD had the norovirus when she was 1yo or so i think. Then I had to convince her to go to sleep on me, as she was vomiting quite a bit and I wanted her more upright! Didn't last lomg.. 5 mins or so then it was obvious she wanted to be in bed. I did spend the night on the floor that night though!

I would only offer water now, they can get quite a dry mouth with a stuffy nose. Remember a vaporub on their feet helps (can't remember if I mentioned that before). You've honestly done great this far, whatever you do decide to do we can fix, but try and keep Tracy's saying int he back of your mind ok? xx

[Jmpratt]

Hello again!

I'm here.  LO got alot sicker with a high fever 103/104 after we last wrote.  I stuck it out with consistent responses until the high fever and that's what broke me. 

I got back on track after 3 nights of being off -track due to the fever plus her fever broke that day.  She had trouble but has been getting back on track too, aside from the night wakings still.  Might be more teething as usual.

Here's where we are.  Her nap schedule got off track a bit while sick.   

Tuesday (DC)
WU 730
N 1120-12
n 130-215
BT 715 (went smoothly, I was amazed after 5 hr A time)

EW 6am!!  I tried to get her up since she slept 11 hours straight, but fell asleep while I was feeding her and I didn't stop it.

Wednesday
WU 730
N 11-130 (not expecting this, probably making up for some sleep)
N 5-530
BT 9 (DS was up and interrupted routine, LO was probably UT but then had a really hard time when she saw DS enter the room)

EW 4am, screaming, difficulty soothing herself for 1 hour I walked out a few times to see if that helped.  She went to sleep with my hand the last time I went back in. 

Help!  Have to run at work now but I think that's enough to give you an idea of where we are..  I"ve been waiting to start putting my hand on her back instead as you suggested until she is not sick anymore

[Kellyjs]

'm so sorry she's been poorly. You tend to just have to go with the flow a bit whn they're like that.

What I have noticed is that was a super long A time to BT on Wednesday after a short nap, I think she was OT there hence the issues.

After a 30mins nap, it is difficult to get the A time right. You could try 3hrs A and see where that gets you? It will be hard atm until she's better as she may just want more sleep, don't fight her. As you can see on Wednesday she had a lovely long nap after a short A time, so I bet she's still feeling off. ust try and keep the last A shorter after a short nap ok? Ovbiously 5hrs is ok after a longer nap for her, but not a shorter one. Hope she feels better soon and well done for remaining consistent xx