Night wake

[Miraclelim]

Hi I am about to lose my mind. My little one is a terrible night sleeper but a good day napper
We have been nursing to sleep at night for months n I know it's a prob so we have a rule before 5 am no feed. If she wakes up I offer water in sippy cup if she keeps crying then milk in sippy cup.

She just turned one 2 weeks ago
Awake time 330-4hr

Wake up anytime between 6-7 depending on night wAke normally 0630

Nap 1 1015/1030 for 1hr-1.5 hr( cutting it down to 1hr because she refused her afternoon nap) if I let her she can take 1.5-2 hr nap.
Nap 2 1530 for 45-1hr min depending when she decided to nap. Afternoon nap has been a struggle for a week that is why we r cutting morning nap.
Bedtime 1900/1930 settles really quickly

Night wake 2330-0130 ( sometimes midnight but for 1-2hr)
Sometimes woke up at 2330 took 30 mins to settle then 2am again took 1-1.5 hr to settle.
I offer water then cuddle her on a rocking chair to sleep then put her down then 1 hr later she wakes up crying again then I repeat sometimes I offer her milk. I refuses to offer her boobs as I am trying to wean her off night feed. Otherwise she won't eat much during the day.

Pls tell me what am I doing wrong. I try giving her more sleep during the day but still we have night wake. I try reducing her sleep we still have night wake.
I am so tired. I have a 3 yr old girl too who sometimes got woken up by her screaming.
she had  slept through before for 1900-0500 a handful of time. I don't know what I did right that day ??..
Help help pls. I am starting to resent my own daughter 😱😢😢😢 I don't think I have slept more than 4 hr straight in one go since I was pregnant with her. Losing my will n sAnity.
Any advise welcome. TIA

[cath~]

(((hugs))) you sound exhausted.

From your post, two things spring to mind which might help:

1.  She might be ready to move more towards 1 nap.  She might not be getting long enough stretches of A time in her day to sleep well at night.  Since, she's getting a good morning nap, I'd try pushing that a bit later (e..g. 10.45) and aim for that to be her long nap (let her nap as long as she wants), then keep the pm nap (which you could APOP on the go if needed) as a short CN (maybe try 30 mins at first, or even less depending on time and length of 1st nap).  You'd be aiming to give her just enough sleep in the CN for her to last until BT, so it can take a bit of tweaking to find what works.
There's more info here:
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

2. You say you BF to sleep at BT.  This could well be a problem in terms of her needing help to resettle at the NWs.  How does she settle for naps?  BF too or independently?  Are you ready to work on stopping the BF-to-sleep at BT?  If so, I think this would help a lot.  There are some ideas for a gentle approach here, which you could start any time:
PANTLEY'S GENTLE REMOVAL PLAN
but at some point I think you just have to go for it and stop (comfort her in other ways at first, of course).  It can be tough for a couple of days but LOs usually learn pretty quickly.

WDYT?

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much for your reply.
Yes I m trying to stop be to sleep. Generally during morning nap I will nurse her till drowsy then tell her sleepy time n put her down in the cot. She is aware that I m leaving the room n will just roll over n whine for 1/2 mins then go to sleep herself n that is the same for bedtime.pm nap is horrendous. I have to nurse her to almost asleep otherwise she will scream bloody murder n won't sleep n by the time she is asleep A time will be like 4hr 15 min n sometimes only can have 30/40mins nap. Because it's like 430pm so have to wake her up otherwise i m worried she is not tired enough for bedtime.
So yesterday
 Wu 0650
Nap 1015-1130(wake her up)
Nap 2 attempted to put her down at 1510 but won't sleep n whine n cried until finally asleep at 1555.
Wake her up at 1630
Bedtime 1930
Night wake 2330 scream n cried for 1.20hr we offered water cuddle n rocking on the rocking chair. I have stopped bf her to sleep at night n just offer water or milk in sippy cup.
Wu this morning at 0650

So tired. What did I do wrong? More awake time in the morning or before bed? Help!!!!!

Thank you so much for your help.

[Miraclelim]

So I extended her nap time yesterday.

Wu 0650
Nap 1040-1200
Nap2 struggle n finally asleep at 1608-1630( wake her up)
Bedtime 1930
Night wake 0230-330 ( blah blah n not wanting to sleep. I offered water cuddle n finally fall asleep on me on the rocking chair) well at least she is not crying n screaming her head off n normal is midnight.
Will in the morning at 0615 😩
Now what do I do for nap?

1015/1030 or stick to 1045??

Help pls!! tIA

[cath~]

Now what do I do for nap?

1015/1030 or stick to 1045??

I'd see how she seems.  If you think she can last then try sticking with 1045.  On the other hand, if she seems exhausted then bring it a little earlier.

DYT she could be teething?  Could the NWs be partly discomfort?  have you tried offering any pain meds to see if that helps her resettle more quickly?

Yes I m trying to stop be to sleep. Generally during morning nap I will nurse her till drowsy then tell her sleepy time n put her down in the cot. She is aware that I m leaving the room n will just roll over n whine for 1/2 mins then go to sleep herself n that is the same for bedtime.

That's good you're not completely feeding to sleep but it could still be a bit of a prop.  What about introducing a lullaby that you sing before putting her down, or even a BT story (quick look at a book), just to increase the gap between the BF and putting her down.  Have you tried stopping her feeding a little sooner, e.g. when it seems she's not really "drinking" but just feeding for comfort iyswim? A bigger separation between BF and sleep might help the NWs.

pm nap is horrendous. I have to nurse her to almost asleep otherwise she will scream bloody murder n won't sleep n by the time she is asleep A time will be like 4hr 15 min n sometimes only can have 30/40mins nap. Because it's like 430pm so have to wake her up otherwise i m worried she is not tired enough for bedtime.

All this resistance to the pm nap suggests to me that she's not tired enough for it really.  Would you be able to take her out for a walk/drive instead to see if she'll nod off this way?  Might be nicer for you?  Lots of ppl find they have to APOP a CN during this transition, just to get them through.  I'd prob try limiting it at 20 min like you did too.

[Miraclelim]

Hi cath, thanks to your reply. She was so tired, I nurse her n tell her sleepy time. ( I am reducing the nursing time slowly) then put her down n leave she screamed so hard so I went back n nurse her again for a few mins then put her down she cried but rolled over n slept. That was 1020. I can tell she couldn't wait to go to,bed she is tired. Hopefully I get a longer nap.
Yes I have intro lullaby to wean of bf n it worked esp at night when she whined n stirs I turn it on and she will fall back to sleep. N during the daytime she slept with white noise because I have a 3 yr old who is very active n noisy. But when she whines n won't settle for nap I turn the lullaby on with white noise n she generally with go to sleep.
I m not sure how to make her drowsy without nursing her, if I just cuddle her on the rocking chair she will kick and wriggle so much. She doesn't like to read book she rather chew it. Yes she is teething I think because I am going thru 3-4 wet bibs a day. Due to other medical probs she can't take nurofen n Panadol never works so i stop giving it to her.

So if I aim for a day like this is this okie.

Wu 0615
Nap 1 1020- (hopefully for more than 1.5 hr) assuming she wakes up,at 1200
Nap 2 1600-1620?
Bedtime 1930

Or I pull bedtime forward?
Thank you so much for your advice.

[cath~]

So if I aim for a day like this is this okie.

Wu 0615
Nap 1 1020- (hopefully for more than 1.5 hr) assuming she wakes up,at 1200
Nap 2 1600-1620?
Bedtime 1930

Or I pull bedtime forward?

that looks good to me.  See how tired she is in the afternoon and maybe pull BT earlier a bit if she seems really tired.

Yes I have intro lullaby to wean of bf n it worked esp at night when she whined n stirs I turn it on and she will fall back to sleep. N during the daytime she slept with white noise because I have a 3 yr old who is very active n noisy. But when she whines n won't settle for nap I turn the lullaby on with white noise n she generally with go to sleep.

that sounds good   does make me think that maybe the NWs could be more discomfort than a prop issue then..

I m not sure how to make her drowsy without nursing her, if I just cuddle her on the rocking chair she will kick and wriggle so much.

At this age you don't really need to worry about getting her drowsy before you PD.  She will (eventually) be able to learn to put herself to sleep in her cot from being awake and you don't need to "get her drowsy" first.  I'd aim to put her down less and less drowsy. 

With both my DDs (who are spirited) at this age, I carred them and took them for a walk around the house to help them WD before nap.  At BT, for example, there was often a period of wriggling/chatting/singing before they nodded off.  There are some other toddler WD ideas here. 
Toddler wind down routines
It's more about helping their mind and body to switch off/relax though, rather than getting them drowsy, iyswim.

Yes she is teething I think because I am going thru 3-4 wet bibs a day. Due to other medical probs she can't take nurofen n Panadol never works so i stop giving it to her.

Ah, that's a shame.  Poor thing

[Miraclelim]

Okie I really don't understand.

Yesterday
Nw 0540 I think she is hungry so I be her n she went back to sleep
Wu 0810 ( I m thinking brilliant one nap day)
Nap 1230( put down at 1200 but  she was screaming n kicking because I refused to bf n finally fell asleep late) hence overtired nap woke up 1330 crying tried to settle her bf her but won't sleep anymore.
Nap 1705-1730 (refused to sleep any earlier)
Bedtime 2000
Nw 0000 (settled in 20mins)
Nw 0130 ( settled for 20 mins cried again. I sent daddy in n finally fall asleep at 2ish)
Nw 0540 I think she is hungry so fed her n went back to sleep
Wu 0650

What a night!!! What did I do wrong 😢😢

Today nap put down at 1030 but screamed her head off because I refused to be her n I keep walking in and out but that makes it worse so I reassured her on the speaker on the video with my voice b finally fell asleep at 1100.. It's 1208 still asleep. I am so lost I have no idea what I am doing wrong.
I m trying to wean bf before morning nap. Any ideas what I can do better? I turned the light down. Put on her sleeping bag, turn on the lullaby n white noise n give the cloth tell her is sleepy time. Give her a cuddle n she looks for my boobs n keeps kicking and pushing me when I try to carry her but put her down she keeps crying n wanting me to cuddle...........what do I do?

Pls help TIA

Okie so she napped from 11-1218. Was so grumpy this afternoon. Put her down to bed just before 4 pm but was screaming n crying n kicking until finally I am so sick of being push n kicked n put her in bed n grid my hardest to pat pat her n finally she fell asleep at 1635. Now what do I do? Plan to wake her up at 1700 then bedtime 1930? Good idea?..
So far
Wu0650
Nap11-1218
Nap1635- 1700(plan to wake her up at 1700
Plan bedtime 1930 ?
Anyone can help before bedtime?...pls pls pls thanks
 S

[cath~]

Hi,

sorry haven't replied for a few days.  Things got a bit hectic here over the weekend.
How have things gone the last few days?

((hugs)) it does sound like teething is a prob quite a problem and you're not necessarily doing anything wrong.  You might just have to wait it out and then see where things stand..  E.g. with props/routine.

It's a shame she can't take any meds.  Have you tried teething gel at all, e.g. just before nap time to see if that helps her settle?  Or some kind of comforter with something to bite/chew on?

Some one else has suggested that elevating the cot at one end can help with teething, e.g. with blocks of some sort.

I'm not what else to suggest really, other than trying slightly longer A times to rule out UT. ALos, you could try perhaps EBT rather than such a late CN, to see if that helps.   EG with this day:
Wu0650
Nap11-1218
Nap1635- 1700(plan to wake her up at 1700
Plan bedtime 1930 ?

rather than a 2nd nap you could perhaps have just tried BT at 6pm?

[Miraclelim]

Hi merry Christmas!! We gave a few bad night n a good night
Today
Wu 0715
Nap 1130-1330
Nap 1700 (it's now 1730 I m still trying)
I can't do early bedtime at 1800 today as I busy preparing Boxing Day dinner for family..

What am I going to do.......???keep trying for nap?
😱😰😢 okie end up getting her up n feed her dinner n bath then put down again at 1835 but omg she didn't go to sleep till 1930!!!!! She kept blabing away n whiny then blanking until end the end I went in and pat pat her n she fell asleep in 2 mins.

😭😭😭😱😱 so not looking forward to tonight. I m sure she will be up all night because of OT.!

[cath~]

Hi there,

How was the night in the end?

It's tricky when other stuff gets in the way of naps and bedtime.

On another day, then yes, EBT would have been the way to go but like you say it's not always possible.

[Miraclelim]

Hi Cath,
Surprisingly the night was not bad. She ended up waking at 0500 and took 45 of pat pat to settle her n wake up at 0730.
Last night same thing she went to bed at 2000 n nw 0430 I couldn't settle her afterb45 min n so my hubby went in and she went to sleep in 15min. Wake up 0740

So our night are generally better but we still have this nw between 4-5am how do I stop it?

Wu 0730
Nap 1140 ( for 1.5-2hr)
Nap 20mims 4hr after wake up,but sometimes refused.
Bedtime 2000 if I get her to nap for 20 mins.

Any advise?.

[Miraclelim]

So yesterday
Wu 0740
Nap put down at 1140 didn't nap till 1200-1430 woke up half crying but self settled.
Bedtime tried to put down at 1855 but didn't fall asleep till 1920.
Nw 0400 took 45 mins to resettle with pat pat n cuddles
Nw 0542 hubby went in to settle fell asleep for 10 mins then woke up again then kept dozing in n out of sleep until we got her out at 0640.

U see she had such a good nap so y keeps waking up??? I really can't figure it out.

[Miraclelim]

Happy new year!!! We had a few goodnights of sleeping through from 8pm-0630 but this few days we have very early wake 0530?

Wu 0530 but keep in bed til 0630
Nap 1030-1215
Nap2 tried to put down 415pm but won't sleep till 1645. Wake her after 20mins
(445pm-1705)
Bedtime 1930.
Will shorter a time before bed causes early wake?
Sometimes Nw 0445

Wu0730 after a 0445 nw for 1hr
Nap 1200-1315 can't resettle
I m thinking aiming for early bed 1800 if I m lucky

[cath~]

Hello and Happy New Year!  Sorry for taking so long to get back to you.

You mentioned teething before - DYT she could still be teething?  That can cause EWs.  Or is there something else that could be disturbing her - e.g. noise of heating coming on?

On days with an EW and where you know she won't be able to last until, say, 1.30-12ish for a 1-nap day (i.e. she'll need 2 naps), you might find it easier to do a short am CN (e.g. 10-15 mins) at around 9.30/10am (you could APOP it on the go, if your're out, for example), just to get her through until around 12/12.30 ish for a single long nap.  That way she can still have a long A time until BT.

On days when she has a later WU/no EW, then you could just hold out until 11.30/12ish and do a 1-nap day (with EBT if needed).

WDYT?