Night wake

[Miraclelim]

Hi I am about to lose my mind. My little one is a terrible night sleeper but a good day napper
We have been nursing to sleep at night for months n I know it's a prob so we have a rule before 5 am no feed. If she wakes up I offer water in sippy cup if she keeps crying then milk in sippy cup.

She just turned one 2 weeks ago
Awake time 330-4hr

Wake up anytime between 6-7 depending on night wAke normally 0630

Nap 1 1015/1030 for 1hr-1.5 hr( cutting it down to 1hr because she refused her afternoon nap) if I let her she can take 1.5-2 hr nap.
Nap 2 1530 for 45-1hr min depending when she decided to nap. Afternoon nap has been a struggle for a week that is why we r cutting morning nap.
Bedtime 1900/1930 settles really quickly

Night wake 2330-0130 ( sometimes midnight but for 1-2hr)
Sometimes woke up at 2330 took 30 mins to settle then 2am again took 1-1.5 hr to settle.
I offer water then cuddle her on a rocking chair to sleep then put her down then 1 hr later she wakes up crying again then I repeat sometimes I offer her milk. I refuses to offer her boobs as I am trying to wean her off night feed. Otherwise she won't eat much during the day.

Pls tell me what am I doing wrong. I try giving her more sleep during the day but still we have night wake. I try reducing her sleep we still have night wake.
I am so tired. I have a 3 yr old girl too who sometimes got woken up by her screaming.
she had  slept through before for 1900-0500 a handful of time. I don't know what I did right that day ??..
Help help pls. I am starting to resent my own daughter 😱😢😢😢 I don't think I have slept more than 4 hr straight in one go since I was pregnant with her. Losing my will n sAnity.
Any advise welcome. TIA

[cath~]

(((hugs))) you sound exhausted.

From your post, two things spring to mind which might help:

1.  She might be ready to move more towards 1 nap.  She might not be getting long enough stretches of A time in her day to sleep well at night.  Since, she's getting a good morning nap, I'd try pushing that a bit later (e..g. 10.45) and aim for that to be her long nap (let her nap as long as she wants), then keep the pm nap (which you could APOP on the go if needed) as a short CN (maybe try 30 mins at first, or even less depending on time and length of 1st nap).  You'd be aiming to give her just enough sleep in the CN for her to last until BT, so it can take a bit of tweaking to find what works.
There's more info here:
From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

2. You say you BF to sleep at BT.  This could well be a problem in terms of her needing help to resettle at the NWs.  How does she settle for naps?  BF too or independently?  Are you ready to work on stopping the BF-to-sleep at BT?  If so, I think this would help a lot.  There are some ideas for a gentle approach here, which you could start any time:
PANTLEY'S GENTLE REMOVAL PLAN
but at some point I think you just have to go for it and stop (comfort her in other ways at first, of course).  It can be tough for a couple of days but LOs usually learn pretty quickly.

WDYT?

[Miraclelim]

Thank you so much for your reply.
Yes I m trying to stop be to sleep. Generally during morning nap I will nurse her till drowsy then tell her sleepy time n put her down in the cot. She is aware that I m leaving the room n will just roll over n whine for 1/2 mins then go to sleep herself n that is the same for bedtime.pm nap is horrendous. I have to nurse her to almost asleep otherwise she will scream bloody murder n won't sleep n by the time she is asleep A time will be like 4hr 15 min n sometimes only can have 30/40mins nap. Because it's like 430pm so have to wake her up otherwise i m worried she is not tired enough for bedtime.
So yesterday
 Wu 0650
Nap 1015-1130(wake her up)
Nap 2 attempted to put her down at 1510 but won't sleep n whine n cried until finally asleep at 1555.
Wake her up at 1630
Bedtime 1930
Night wake 2330 scream n cried for 1.20hr we offered water cuddle n rocking on the rocking chair. I have stopped bf her to sleep at night n just offer water or milk in sippy cup.
Wu this morning at 0650

So tired. What did I do wrong? More awake time in the morning or before bed? Help!!!!!

Thank you so much for your help.

[Miraclelim]

So I extended her nap time yesterday.

Wu 0650
Nap 1040-1200
Nap2 struggle n finally asleep at 1608-1630( wake her up)
Bedtime 1930
Night wake 0230-330 ( blah blah n not wanting to sleep. I offered water cuddle n finally fall asleep on me on the rocking chair) well at least she is not crying n screaming her head off n normal is midnight.
Will in the morning at 0615 😩
Now what do I do for nap?

1015/1030 or stick to 1045??

Help pls!! tIA

[cath~]

Now what do I do for nap?

1015/1030 or stick to 1045??

I'd see how she seems.  If you think she can last then try sticking with 1045.  On the other hand, if she seems exhausted then bring it a little earlier.

DYT she could be teething?  Could the NWs be partly discomfort?  have you tried offering any pain meds to see if that helps her resettle more quickly?

Yes I m trying to stop be to sleep. Generally during morning nap I will nurse her till drowsy then tell her sleepy time n put her down in the cot. She is aware that I m leaving the room n will just roll over n whine for 1/2 mins then go to sleep herself n that is the same for bedtime.

That's good you're not completely feeding to sleep but it could still be a bit of a prop.  What about introducing a lullaby that you sing before putting her down, or even a BT story (quick look at a book), just to increase the gap between the BF and putting her down.  Have you tried stopping her feeding a little sooner, e.g. when it seems she's not really "drinking" but just feeding for comfort iyswim? A bigger separation between BF and sleep might help the NWs.

pm nap is horrendous. I have to nurse her to almost asleep otherwise she will scream bloody murder n won't sleep n by the time she is asleep A time will be like 4hr 15 min n sometimes only can have 30/40mins nap. Because it's like 430pm so have to wake her up otherwise i m worried she is not tired enough for bedtime.

All this resistance to the pm nap suggests to me that she's not tired enough for it really.  Would you be able to take her out for a walk/drive instead to see if she'll nod off this way?  Might be nicer for you?  Lots of ppl find they have to APOP a CN during this transition, just to get them through.  I'd prob try limiting it at 20 min like you did too.

[Miraclelim]

Hi cath, thanks to your reply. She was so tired, I nurse her n tell her sleepy time. ( I am reducing the nursing time slowly) then put her down n leave she screamed so hard so I went back n nurse her again for a few mins then put her down she cried but rolled over n slept. That was 1020. I can tell she couldn't wait to go to,bed she is tired. Hopefully I get a longer nap.
Yes I have intro lullaby to wean of bf n it worked esp at night when she whined n stirs I turn it on and she will fall back to sleep. N during the daytime she slept with white noise because I have a 3 yr old who is very active n noisy. But when she whines n won't settle for nap I turn the lullaby on with white noise n she generally with go to sleep.
I m not sure how to make her drowsy without nursing her, if I just cuddle her on the rocking chair she will kick and wriggle so much. She doesn't like to read book she rather chew it. Yes she is teething I think because I am going thru 3-4 wet bibs a day. Due to other medical probs she can't take nurofen n Panadol never works so i stop giving it to her.

So if I aim for a day like this is this okie.

Wu 0615
Nap 1 1020- (hopefully for more than 1.5 hr) assuming she wakes up,at 1200
Nap 2 1600-1620?
Bedtime 1930

Or I pull bedtime forward?
Thank you so much for your advice.

[cath~]

So if I aim for a day like this is this okie.

Wu 0615
Nap 1 1020- (hopefully for more than 1.5 hr) assuming she wakes up,at 1200
Nap 2 1600-1620?
Bedtime 1930

Or I pull bedtime forward?

that looks good to me.  See how tired she is in the afternoon and maybe pull BT earlier a bit if she seems really tired.

Yes I have intro lullaby to wean of bf n it worked esp at night when she whined n stirs I turn it on and she will fall back to sleep. N during the daytime she slept with white noise because I have a 3 yr old who is very active n noisy. But when she whines n won't settle for nap I turn the lullaby on with white noise n she generally with go to sleep.

that sounds good   does make me think that maybe the NWs could be more discomfort than a prop issue then..

I m not sure how to make her drowsy without nursing her, if I just cuddle her on the rocking chair she will kick and wriggle so much.

At this age you don't really need to worry about getting her drowsy before you PD.  She will (eventually) be able to learn to put herself to sleep in her cot from being awake and you don't need to "get her drowsy" first.  I'd aim to put her down less and less drowsy. 

With both my DDs (who are spirited) at this age, I carred them and took them for a walk around the house to help them WD before nap.  At BT, for example, there was often a period of wriggling/chatting/singing before they nodded off.  There are some other toddler WD ideas here. 
Toddler wind down routines
It's more about helping their mind and body to switch off/relax though, rather than getting them drowsy, iyswim.

Yes she is teething I think because I am going thru 3-4 wet bibs a day. Due to other medical probs she can't take nurofen n Panadol never works so i stop giving it to her.

Ah, that's a shame.  Poor thing

[Miraclelim]

Okie I really don't understand.

Yesterday
Nw 0540 I think she is hungry so I be her n she went back to sleep
Wu 0810 ( I m thinking brilliant one nap day)
Nap 1230( put down at 1200 but  she was screaming n kicking because I refused to bf n finally fell asleep late) hence overtired nap woke up 1330 crying tried to settle her bf her but won't sleep anymore.
Nap 1705-1730 (refused to sleep any earlier)
Bedtime 2000
Nw 0000 (settled in 20mins)
Nw 0130 ( settled for 20 mins cried again. I sent daddy in n finally fall asleep at 2ish)
Nw 0540 I think she is hungry so fed her n went back to sleep
Wu 0650

What a night!!! What did I do wrong 😢😢

Today nap put down at 1030 but screamed her head off because I refused to be her n I keep walking in and out but that makes it worse so I reassured her on the speaker on the video with my voice b finally fell asleep at 1100.. It's 1208 still asleep. I am so lost I have no idea what I am doing wrong.
I m trying to wean bf before morning nap. Any ideas what I can do better? I turned the light down. Put on her sleeping bag, turn on the lullaby n white noise n give the cloth tell her is sleepy time. Give her a cuddle n she looks for my boobs n keeps kicking and pushing me when I try to carry her but put her down she keeps crying n wanting me to cuddle...........what do I do?

Pls help TIA

Okie so she napped from 11-1218. Was so grumpy this afternoon. Put her down to bed just before 4 pm but was screaming n crying n kicking until finally I am so sick of being push n kicked n put her in bed n grid my hardest to pat pat her n finally she fell asleep at 1635. Now what do I do? Plan to wake her up at 1700 then bedtime 1930? Good idea?..
So far
Wu0650
Nap11-1218
Nap1635- 1700(plan to wake her up at 1700
Plan bedtime 1930 ?
Anyone can help before bedtime?...pls pls pls thanks
 S

[cath~]

Hi,

sorry haven't replied for a few days.  Things got a bit hectic here over the weekend.
How have things gone the last few days?

((hugs)) it does sound like teething is a prob quite a problem and you're not necessarily doing anything wrong.  You might just have to wait it out and then see where things stand..  E.g. with props/routine.

It's a shame she can't take any meds.  Have you tried teething gel at all, e.g. just before nap time to see if that helps her settle?  Or some kind of comforter with something to bite/chew on?

Some one else has suggested that elevating the cot at one end can help with teething, e.g. with blocks of some sort.

I'm not what else to suggest really, other than trying slightly longer A times to rule out UT. ALos, you could try perhaps EBT rather than such a late CN, to see if that helps.   EG with this day:
Wu0650
Nap11-1218
Nap1635- 1700(plan to wake her up at 1700
Plan bedtime 1930 ?

rather than a 2nd nap you could perhaps have just tried BT at 6pm?

[Miraclelim]

Hi merry Christmas!! We gave a few bad night n a good night
Today
Wu 0715
Nap 1130-1330
Nap 1700 (it's now 1730 I m still trying)
I can't do early bedtime at 1800 today as I busy preparing Boxing Day dinner for family..

What am I going to do.......???keep trying for nap?
😱😰😢 okie end up getting her up n feed her dinner n bath then put down again at 1835 but omg she didn't go to sleep till 1930!!!!! She kept blabing away n whiny then blanking until end the end I went in and pat pat her n she fell asleep in 2 mins.

😭😭😭😱😱 so not looking forward to tonight. I m sure she will be up all night because of OT.!

[cath~]

Hi there,

How was the night in the end?

It's tricky when other stuff gets in the way of naps and bedtime.

On another day, then yes, EBT would have been the way to go but like you say it's not always possible.

[Miraclelim]

Hi Cath,
Surprisingly the night was not bad. She ended up waking at 0500 and took 45 of pat pat to settle her n wake up at 0730.
Last night same thing she went to bed at 2000 n nw 0430 I couldn't settle her afterb45 min n so my hubby went in and she went to sleep in 15min. Wake up 0740

So our night are generally better but we still have this nw between 4-5am how do I stop it?

Wu 0730
Nap 1140 ( for 1.5-2hr)
Nap 20mims 4hr after wake up,but sometimes refused.
Bedtime 2000 if I get her to nap for 20 mins.

Any advise?.

[Miraclelim]

So yesterday
Wu 0740
Nap put down at 1140 didn't nap till 1200-1430 woke up half crying but self settled.
Bedtime tried to put down at 1855 but didn't fall asleep till 1920.
Nw 0400 took 45 mins to resettle with pat pat n cuddles
Nw 0542 hubby went in to settle fell asleep for 10 mins then woke up again then kept dozing in n out of sleep until we got her out at 0640.

U see she had such a good nap so y keeps waking up??? I really can't figure it out.

[Miraclelim]

Happy new year!!! We had a few goodnights of sleeping through from 8pm-0630 but this few days we have very early wake 0530?

Wu 0530 but keep in bed til 0630
Nap 1030-1215
Nap2 tried to put down 415pm but won't sleep till 1645. Wake her after 20mins
(445pm-1705)
Bedtime 1930.
Will shorter a time before bed causes early wake?
Sometimes Nw 0445

Wu0730 after a 0445 nw for 1hr
Nap 1200-1315 can't resettle
I m thinking aiming for early bed 1800 if I m lucky

[cath~]

Hello and Happy New Year!  Sorry for taking so long to get back to you.

You mentioned teething before - DYT she could still be teething?  That can cause EWs.  Or is there something else that could be disturbing her - e.g. noise of heating coming on?

On days with an EW and where you know she won't be able to last until, say, 1.30-12ish for a 1-nap day (i.e. she'll need 2 naps), you might find it easier to do a short am CN (e.g. 10-15 mins) at around 9.30/10am (you could APOP it on the go, if your're out, for example), just to get her through until around 12/12.30 ish for a single long nap.  That way she can still have a long A time until BT.

On days when she has a later WU/no EW, then you could just hold out until 11.30/12ish and do a 1-nap day (with EBT if needed).

WDYT?

[Miraclelim]

Thanks for you reply. So last night was horrendous!!! She fell asleep for bed time at 1815 after only having 1.15hr of nap n waking up at1315. So she had Nw at 2200 screamed thd house down n took 1.5hr to settle her. Then another at4am n that took 1hr then woke up at 7am. I m so exhausted. So I thinking given the short night I might aim for nap at 1115??? But even if she naps for 2 hr that will bring us to 1315 what do I do for bt? 1800? So worried abt nw.

She won't sleep in the pram so I m not sure if morning cn will work but she always favours her am nap. I had tried short am but has let to a disaster pm short nap too........
Thanks

[cath~]

((hugs)) that sounds like a really rough night.  DYT it's teething or poss OT from the short nap?

woke up at 7am. I m so exhausted. So I thinking given the short night I might aim for nap at 1115??? But even if she naps for 2 hr that will bring us to 1315 what do I do for bt? 1800? So worried abt nw.

It's really tough when a CN is so hard to get..  I think I might be inclined to watch for sleepy signs and do an early CN if you think you can get one.  Then watch again and go for a longer nap in the pm, so she doesn't get OT.  But if you can't get an am nap then I'd prob push the nap as late as you can so the A time to BT isn't too long.  Does that help?  ((hugs)) it's really tricky at this stage.  I will see if anyone else has any ideas..

[Miraclelim]

Hi thanks for your reply. Sorry didn't see your reply until now.
I think is OT from short nap to be honest.

So here is what I did.
Wu 0700
Nap 1130-1320
Bt 1810

She woke up early this morning at 0500. Tried rocking n I think she managed to fall asleep but as soon as I put her down she woke up n that it. She kept screaming n crying n wriggling. So but 0630 I got her up.

Maybe try go a cn at 9ish during school run for 15/20min? Or 10? (Fingers crossed) Then tried for nap 1230/1pm or 2.5 hrs after cn?

Sounds okie? What happens if she only slept 1 hr 1.5 hrs so that might brings me to 1330/1400 then early bedtime at 1830? She doesn't tag on her sleep... Then early wake again???

Thank you so much for all your advices. Really appreciate it.

[cath~]

Hi,

Yeah IIWM I'd try what you suggested, am CN of around 15 mins plus aim for longer nap after lunch.

Sometimes you do get stuck in an EBT+EW thing with the 2-1 transition which can be a pita.  But once you've got to one good long nap then you can work on shifting the whole day later again, eg in 15 min increments.  It's a pain while you're in the transition though.

Did you get any nws last night or just the ew?

((Hugs)))

[Miraclelim]

Hi Cath, no nw. Slept from 1810 to 0500. This morning she napped 20 min in the pram yeah woke up 1020. I m thinking 1pm for nap??? I need to do school run at 3pm.?what do u think?

Ahhhh disaster!!! I feel like crying now. She refused to nap at 1pm until in need to go in n rock her to sleep. She finally fell asleep at 1337 but woke up at 1415 !!!! Ahhhhhhh what do I do now. I felt like my whole world is abt to collapse on me 😱😱😭😭

Okie okie breathe!!! I manage to settle her to sleep after 15mins. Then woke up at 3pm crying. So in the bed tonight at 1835 finally fell asleep at 1850. Praying for tonight!!!!

[Miraclelim]

Okie last night she woke up at 0330 and was blabbing away then slowly lead to crying then finally fell asleep at 0500 then woke up at 0630!!

Wu 0630
Nap 1130-1400
Bedtime 1900

So fingers crossed. I wasn't sure when to put down for bedtime for I went for 7pm she fell asleep in 10 mins. Hopefully no night wake!!
This is ridiculous!!!
She woke up at 2230 screaming n crying non stop n it's midnight n she hasn't fallen asleep!!!
What is going on??? I give up!!! It's like hell. Then she woke up my toddler m I have 2 screaming babies.
I feel like dying now. Why why all I want is some sleep!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭
So finally fell asleep at 0100. I can't remember .
Is it a time is too long? Under tired or overtired. Help!!

Woke up this am at 0600.
Shall I push for one nap again or two?

[Miraclelim]

So yesterday she woke up at 0600
Wu0600
Nap 1125-1330
Bt 1835 (put down at 1805)
Nw0020-0200

Today
Wu 0610
Nap1125-1325
Bt 1820

I think regardless anything I do she still wake up at night. So I m going cold turkey to one set nap at 1130 bedtime between 1800/1830. Aiming for 12hr day n no longer than 12.5hr And pray that her body self regulate. I m so sick of clock watching n her waking up even she has had a decent nap. What do u think? Thanks

[Miraclelim]

Omg another awful night!!!
Nw 2230 and didn't settle till 0020
Then again at 0445 n fell asleep at 0515 then up
Again at 0600 n won't sleep.
I m so tired that I put her down at 10am n going to try for a 2 nap days. I really don't know what to do.

[cath~]

(((hugs))) for all the rough nights

It does look like you've been getting some reasonable days though:

Wu0600
Nap 1125-1330
Bt 1835 (put down at 1805)
Nw0020-0200

Today
Wu 0610
Nap1125-1325
Bt 1820

with nice naps.

I would guess that the NWs are either OT (from all the NWs) or teething (or both!).  Does she seem in any discomfort at all?

If it's OT, then maybe try an even EBT of 6pm one day to see if that helps.

How did yesterday go with two naps?

On days where she needs two naps, are you going for short am or short pm nap?  I know you didn't have much luck when you tried short am the other day, but perhaps she just needed a touch more A time after that first nap before her second nap, for it to be a decent length?  It can take a bit of tweaking to find the right balance.

More (((hugs)))

Have you got any help with the NWs or is it you dealing with it all by yourself?  Do you get any time to rest during the day?

[Miraclelim]

Hi cath, it is so good to hear from u. Last night after two naps were awful.
We had nw at 2230 for 1 hr then again at 1 am for 1 hr then at 0530 for 20mins then woke up for good at 0710. I thought it was pain so i gave paracetamol at the first nw but she still woke up an hr later. Then I thought hunger so I offer milk but she refused!
So today
Wu 0710
Nap 1130 fingers crossed she slept at least 2 hr.
I tried to put her down early but it is so hard as I have a toddler too so 6ish is the earliest I could do. But she is always in bed at 6pm but takes a while to fell asleep. Hubby n me are taking turns at night.
She loves her long am n short pm n it suited us as I have to do school run at 3pm.
I guess I just have to ride it out until her body get used to it. My dd1 is never like this we transition with early bedtime n it always worked n never had much nw apart from with teething.
Thanks for your advise.

[cath~]

She loves her long am n short pm n it suited us as I have to do school run at 3pm.

ah, I forgot you had the school run to fit in too.

How did yesterday and last night go in the end?

How is she nodding off at BT at the moment and how are you resettling her?

What's her temperament like before and after her nap?  Is she irritable or tired at all?

Sorry I wish I had some more suggestions for you.  ((hugs))