Exhausted mum needs helps with 8month old 1-2 hr NWs

[Atomic1010]

Yes he settled better for the morning nap at 3.5hrs but not in the afternoon despite being obviously tired so I settled (by which I mean using words and shh pat him in cot) which didn't take too long but he woke upset after 30mins and the rest of the afternoon was very long as he was grumpy.

After reading your post last night I decided to feed only at 11 and 3. I don't think he is ready for just one feed and I don't want to do that given when I have been feeding him in the night he does take a full feed.

But last night was a disaster. He went to bed at 6.45pm with no real problems and slept til 10. Decided to resettle as not a feed time. But over 40 mins he resettled 3 times and fell asleep for about 5 mins only to wake crying again. I decided he could be hungry so fed at 10.45pm. He then woke at 1pm and I fed him    not good I know. He then woke at 2.30 and I resettled him only for him to wake at 3.30 am and I fed him again, but he woke 10mins later crying and I managed to resettle him. He then woke at 5.30 and I could not resettle so got him up. So not good in terms of feeding him at 1am when I wasn't supposed to and him waking so often - I wonder if he was uncomfortable?

We have tried getting daddy in to resettle but LO got hysterical so we stopped that and daddy is in the spare room currently as he works and being woken every 1-2hrs each night was impacting on his ability to function at work.  I have asked daddy to sleep in with me over the weekend to give me some support to not feed when I'm not supposed to as I need a nudge, as when I'm half asleep I am taking the easy way out.

Good point on feeding routine which I will change today. He has been off solids a little last couple of days..I'm wondering if he is teething again although can't get a look in his mouth to see!

[trimbler]

I wonder if he's teething too - being off solids and not letting you look in his mouth, trying to settle but waking after 5mins... Try medicating at BT for that? (((Hugs)))

[Atomic1010]

Yes I think that's a good idea. Might explain why his daytime sleep has gone awry in terms of him not being able to settle so easily in the last week. The only other thing could be we took him off his morning dose of reflux meds last week and have just been giving him the evening dose on the basis he is more likely to have any reflux at night. The paediatrician at our local hospital suggested we wean him off it as it was his opinion that LO shouldn't need it anymore now he is doing fairly well with solids and is upright more of the time. We are going to put him back on morning dose to see if it changes things but I do think more likely teeth.

[Kellyjs]

I too wondered if discomfort was playing an issue. I would reinstate the reflux meds and see if that makes a difference. I wonder if the reflux flares when they're teething too but am unsure about that.

That many NW's I would assume pain. I agree with trimbler.. Could you try medicating with ibuprofen and see if that helps? DD always went off solids when teething too, as she wouldn't let me look inside her mouth either I took that as a good sign that she was teething.

I wonder if we should bring the afternoon A back a little bit there? Keep the 3.5hrs for first A, but do 3hrs 15mins for the second one and see if that helps? They can show a preference for staggered A times at this age. What's the A time to BT now? Xx

[trimbler]

Yes reflux does tend to flare when teething

[Atomic1010]

 Thanks both. Have dosed him up with calpol before bed so will see how we go 😬 Gave him the full dose of reflux meds today so hopefully if there is an issue there it will help. His A to BT seems to be around 3 hours, and I've found he only takes 30mins to settle and doesn't need much help.

Afternoon nap didn't go well today he wouldn't go down so I bf to sleep as his A time was 4 hours at that point, he did have a good 1.5 HR nap after so that was something. I plan to have a go at just feeding him at 11 and 3 tonight, with resettling in between, and let's see how it goes.

[Atomic1010]

Ok slightly odd night last night. LO was crying in his sleep at 8.30pm and I managed to settle him down with shh/pat. Then he woke at 9.30 so I fed him. He then slept til 12.30 which was great so I fed him again and he slept til 2.45 and I could not resettle him easily so I fed him again and he slept til 5.45 when he woke for the day. So two 3 hour stints was good and unexpected. Not sure why he did this. I can only think the extra hours sleep in the day may have helped? I'm not complaining but strange..there seems to be no consistency.

[Kellyjs]

This is good actually. I wonder if the longer nap before BT helped? I also think that last A might still be a little long considering he's waking in the early part of the night. Have you tried a shorter A to BT like 2.5hrs?

Do remember the ibuprofen version of Calpol works better than the paracetamol version. And do you elevate the crib slightly? You might have done it for his reflux before by putting a couple of towels under one end of the mattress? That does help too xx

[Atomic1010]

I dont think it was the afternoon nap as yesterday he had a bad afternoon nap. he couldn't settle so I bf him, then he woke after half an hour crying and I rocked him back to sleep but he woke after 15 mins. Luckily he had a good morning nap for 1.5 hrs.  So despite the afternoon naptime difficulties he woke at 9.30, 12,30, 3, 3.30, 5.30 and 7 last night.  I bf on all occasions apart from the 3.30 one as he had been fed only 30 mins before and he settled himself ok with a little patting.  I haven't tried a shorter A to BT and last night it was 3 hours again so perhaps this suits him?

So ive had two better nights with him now since being back on the full dose of the reflux meds....could be coincidence, but either way Im going to keep going with them. We did have the cot elevated for a long time but put it down a month ago as LO was starting to roll more about the cot and the decline in its height meant he invariably ended up at the bottom end. The change in cot elevation to flat has made no difference to his sleep pattern.

I guess the next thing to work on is dropping the 9.30pm feed as we talked about.  Out of interest, because you have a lot more experience in baby NWs than me, what makes you think that the whole issue with LOs waking at nights isnt solely a prop one?

[Kellyjs]

It can be a prop issue, especially as you're battling naps now as well. Ideally if they are ss at naps and BT, NF's can still be a prop, but waking that often I still would assume discomfort.

Rule of thumb generally is that a NW 2hrs or less after BT is usually too long of an A before BT. Long NW's in the early hours is normally a need for the daytime A time to be increased. I would still like to try the shorter A to BT if you're willing? Just to rule it out. Especially if that last nap continues to be the shorter one.

Yes, I would work on dropping some of these NFs if you can. A good place to start is the 9.30pm one. Have you moved dinner earlier like I mentioned before? I think that'll help him take a good feed at BT therefore less likely to need feeding at 9.30pm xx

[Atomic1010]

Thanks that's helpful. Yes I am willing to try the shorter A to BT it's just it's a bit tricky with collecting DS1 from nursery and then trying to sort him out. Hopefully with the weekend coming I can try it out then

In terms of feeding him up before BT what I have been doing is the bf first and then filling him up with as much porridge/Fromage frais etc he will eat after. So tonight I did the bf at 5.45 then his dinner just before 6 and I then took him up for the bedtime routine about 6.15 and he was asleep about 6.45.

Ok will work on dropping 9.30 feed - thanks again.

[Atomic1010]

Well a bit of a surprise last night - LO slept til 11.30! So he did almost 5 hrs straight for first time in 5 months! Can only think the big feed before bed helped. He then woke at 1.30,3.30 and then at 5.30 when he was full of wind so resettling didn't work as he was too awake once he had got rid of it all. I fed on all wake ups but feeding at 1.30 was a half asleep mistake :-(

[trimbler]

That's a great first stretch - let's celebrate that

[Kellyjs]

Woo hoo!  bet that felt good. Would you mind posting what the day was like so we have something to reference for the future? Thanks xx

[Atomic1010]

Yes it was a nice surprise :-))

Sure...
7.20 awake
8am bf then 8.30 solids
10.10-10.40 sleep in car as out and about
11bf, 12.15 solids, 1.30bf
2-2.30 S but woke crying at end of nap bf to sleep again
2.35-3.35 S
4 bf, 5.30 bf then 6 solids
6.50 asleep

Today hasn't gone very well for both his morning and afternoon nap he struggled to settle then he woke after 30mins into each nap crying and I rocked him back to sleep. I took him up to bed this evening just over 2 hrs from the end of his last nap to try getting a 2.5 HR A to BT. But he took almost an hour to settle and was rolling around in the cot and crying off and on so we did a 3 HR A to Bt in the end. Don't know why the daytime naps are going pear now but hopefully a phase or SR. I don't have high hopes for tonight after how badly today's naps have gone.