Exhausted mum needs helps with 8month old 1-2 hr NWs

[trimbler]

That's interesting, reminds me of my DS who really needed a long pm nap in order to have a long-ish A to BT without getting OT, which would in turn result in a good night... If the pm nap wasn't long then he couldn't manage a long A to BT without getting OT so we'd either get OT wakings in the early evening or UT ones later on if we gave him EBT. I just wonder whether a nice long pm nap may be key for him, perhaps by limiting the am nap...it may seem a little early to do that but I also seem to remember that DS needed his am nap limited to 1h 10mins around 9mo in order to get a decent pm nap. Yours may need it shorter. Just a thought!

[Atomic1010]

Im not sure as I looked throughmy notes and on other days he had a long pm nap it didn't make a difference although his am nap was shorter. Last night was bad, awake at 9, 9.30, 11.15, 12.30 (ibuprofen given in hope), 2.30, 3, 5 then off and on til 6 when I gave up trying to resettle and got him up. Feeling massively cheesed off as previous three nights were better and I thought things were improving. I go back to work in 3 months so starting to worry that we wont have cracked it by then.

[Kellyjs]

I still think the shorter A to BT might've helped there. On the day with the longer nap. I believe it gives us something to go on.

I'm with trimbler. I wonder if limiting the first nap may help a bit, bring forward the second A a little as I wonder if that second nap was a tad OT. Do you have any other way of resettling him at all? I notice he was awake for 5mins before he dropped back off again. Do you try ssh/pat or anything or do you go straight for BF back to sleep?

Also, has he ever done 12hr nights? Obviously excluding the NW's. We're trying to work with a routine here that's on a 12-hr day and it may be that's not feasible.

Are you still keeping up with the reflux meds? Xx

[Atomic1010]

Hi - in terms of resettling during an early wake up from naps I don't always bf to sleep sometimes shh/pat works or rocking, or even the sound of his mobile music. He doesn't do 12 hr nights it's generally 10-11 hrs so I don't want to start capping the morning nap as generally he is waking 5.30-6 which means his second nap would probably happen early afternoon meaning an early BT which wouldn't work with what I have to do with his older brother etc. I would rather stick to tweaking A times.  However, for me, the thing I want to work on is not feeding to sleep at every WU and dropping the 9.30pm wake as I think that's habitual and I do think we have a prop issue at night. Although it didn't go particularly well last night.
He woke at 10 and I helped him resettle but he woke after 20mins I fed him. He then woke at 12.30 and i tried to resettle but he just ended up wide awake and crying off and on for 2.5hrs. He did drop off a few times only to wake after a few minutes crying. Least when he did fall asleep he slept for 3 hrs til 5.30 when I didn't even attempt to resettle but fed and he slept til 8! So tired!!

[Kellyjs]

Poor you, sending you lots of hugs.

Yes, as he does only tend to do closer to 10-11hrs, it might e an idea to keep trying with the slightly longer naps xx

[Atomic1010]

Ok so last night I was up with LO at 8.30, 9.30, 10.30, 1.30-3.30 and 4.30. I have no idea what is going on and calpol at 1.30 didn't help. Only positive was that he ss'd on all occasions apart from 10.30 and 4.30 when I fed him....

[trimbler]

Ouch, poor you (((hugs))) but big well done for sticking to the feeding plan and getting him to ss It may well be that you'll have to ride out a few nights like this consistently (I know... ) until he gets the new plan and starts to ss more quickly until his NWs become more like a little stirring between sleep cycles and back off again - ie normal night time sleep.

[Kellyjs]

Well done you for sticking with it, honestly amazing!  and yay to the ss! Woo hoo

I think discomfort is still at play here. There's no way he'd be waking that often if something wasn't going on. Any new foods introduced? How's the reflux meds going? Teeth yet? xx

[Atomic1010]

Thanks! We are still on the full dose of his reflux meds and I think he is likely teething again as he has been chomping on his fingers a lot last few days. He hasn't had a tooth for over a month so I think one is due. If I stick to the feeding plan how long will it take to him ss without waking crying and me helping him do you think? I just feel like this is never ending as its been going on for 5 months now.

[Atomic1010]

Last night was worse - he wouldn't ss with my help or after a feed on most WUs and if he did he was awake again after 15 mins. Only twice was he out for a 2hr stint, the rest was waking every hour or less. I'm shattered and frustrated as I can't progress the sleep training as I wanted. These teeth better come through soon!! I even dosed him up with ibuprofen for bed beforehand....

[trimbler]

Oh dear teething can be really horrible Any signs of one about to break through? How have the days been?

[Kellyjs]

I'd definitely suspect teething or after what i've just been through, I'd take him to the doctors to rule out an ear infection. I have a feeling this might be a little more than just teething as he should've been able to go at least a couple of hours with ibuprofen xx

[Atomic1010]

 Sorry to hear you've got a poorly little one too Kellyjs 

I'm pretty certain it's teething as his gums either side of his two front teeth look red but I will see how we go in case it is something else. The days have been okish apart from today. We seem to have got rid of some of the issues with settling for naps that I was seeing around Christmas and the new year and generally he will go down ok for first nap and second nap is a little hit and miss.

Naps today not great he woke up half an hour into each nap crying and I bf back to sleep.  I ended up waking him after 2.5 hours of his morning nap as I was worried it would mean his afternoon nap would end up late afternoon and BT even later. Probably not the best idea as the day went downhill from then and he has been cranky and irritable, and often upset. I think we have some separation anxiety too as he gets very upset whenever he loses sight of me. I'm wondering whether to introduce a lovey or whether this is a phase that will just pass. He also seems to like holding my hand when settling at night and I was wondering if this was a good idea as I don't want to introduce another prop 

[Kellyjs]

I will always vote for a lovey. They are amazing things! Have you seen the link about SA? There's some helpful things you can do during have day that should help too.

Holding your hand is better than BF to sleep every time I'm sure. Yes, it can turn into another prop, but maybe if you can reverse it in that your hand is on top of his, then you can look at gently reducing the pressure?? Just an idea xx

Separation Anxiety

[Atomic1010]

Thanks that's useful.

To be honest I'm really struggling now  . For the fourth night in a row I've been up just about every hour of the night with LO and I'm exhausted. For the third day in a row his afternoon nap hasn't gone well and he has been waking at 30 min intervals and I've been rocking him back to sleep. There is just no end in sight - as soon as things seem to be going better for a couple of days they get worse. I can't see us progressing the sleep training while he is teething and this is just another massive setback. It's been 5 months without a decent nights sleep now and I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I was crying in the bathroom at 4.30am last night and felt like getting in the car and leaving

I am just hoping for a better night tonight....