Dropping night/day feeds at 9 months

[ecwinters]

Hi
I am breastfeeding my 9 month old DS and we are both still happy and it's going well

However, many of my friends seem to feed their babies (of the same age) fewer feeds during the day and I am wondering whether I should be cutting back the milk feeds?  I give 4 feeds a day and 1 at night.  Because I am breastfeeding, I just offer the feeds - some days he takes more than on other days and I'm happy to be guided by him. 

Day feeds are:
6:15/6:30 - he's always hungry for this feed but only wants 1 breast now
11am - will have a bit, but it not always bothered!
3am - usually wants this but just 1 breast
5:30/6ish - will feed from both breasts

He is on 3 meals a day and eats loads!! So I don't think milk is putting him off eating food.  I give him his milk at least an hour before I do solids.

The night feed is another issue as I'm pretty sure it's a) habitual and b) comfort sucking.  DH tried once with a bottle but DS wouldn't drink - and then lay awake (no noise!) for ONE HOUR before I felt so sorry for him that I crept in and fed him.  Then of course he went back to sleep!  I give him the feed about 3 hours after he goes down.  He will ALWAYS wake for this feed around this time, which makes me think it's habitual.  If he wakes earlier than 3 hours then I resettle him, but then he'll wake again for the feed. 

It's annoying, as we do a 6-6 day so his feed is at 9 pm - which makes going out pretty restrictive!  I basically don't do it.  But after 9 months I really would like to go out sometimes!  However, having got this far I am prepared to stick it out until I am sure that it's not necessary to feed him at night.  What I don't want is him waking up at 4 am wanting a feed! 

DH is getting fed up with it as we've not had a night out since DS was born and wants to cut out the feed.  I've read that one feed may be necessary until 1 year old - is that correct?  My instinct tells me that he's not hungry but I still worry.  And if we go about cutting it out, is it best to just go cold turkey and resettle...resettle...resettle...how long might it take?  We've been giving this 1 feed at this time for about 3 months so DS is pretty used to it!

Thanks for your help.

[Buntybear]

Hmm a feed at 9pm says habit to me. could you push that 5.30 feed back to a BT feed? And then you could try something like Wake 2 sleep - have you come across that before? Worked well for us!

[michaeljacknnugg]

We didn't get a feed-free night until at least 10months, so I think he can reasonably be hungry... That said you can play around with the timings I think.

A feed on wakeup, mid morning, after his afternoon nap and at bedtime was where (I think) we were at this age. I was going back to work so introduced a cup for the feeds I wouldn't be there for.

[*Ali*]

Sounds like he's doing great to me. I think he could totally be hungry or at least certainly would be later in the night. I don't know any 9mos on less breastfeeds than that.

Can you just leave a bottle with whomever you leave him with to offer if he wakes?  Even if he doesn't take it they can comfort him if he needs it.  Maybe go somewhere nearby the first time so you can nip home if it gets desperate. Or go straight out at 6 which would give you 3 hrs to have dinner somewhere. It's not forever.  Another few months and things will be very different I bet.

[ecwinters]

Thanks everyone.

Hmm a feed at 9pm says habit to me. could you push that 5.30 feed back to a BT feed?

I agree - I think it's habit but also worry that he could be hungry later if I don't feed him at some point.  And I'd prefer to do it in the early part of the night really.  The 5:30pm feed was a bedtime feed as his bedtime is 6/6:15.  We do a 6-6 day.  Bedtime is getting gradually a bit later as he is stretching that last A time but I don't want it to get later than 6:30 really.

And then you could try something like Wake 2 sleep - have you come across that before? Worked well for us!

Unfortunately, we tried wake to sleep once before to get rid of the 3 hourly habitual wake up and ended up with a 2 hourly habitual wake up which he has only recently stopped doing regularly!  I'm not sure if we did it wrong, or woke him up too much or something.  DH just went in an hour before we expected him to wake and stroked him until he stirred a little.

We didn't get a feed-free night until at least 10months, so I think he can reasonably be hungry..

That's good to know.  Did your LO phase it out by him/herself or did you have to do it?

Can you just leave a bottle with whomever you leave him with to offer if he wakes?

He didn't take a bottle when we tried it but DH could give it a go I suppose.  I'm pretty sure that DH could resettle him without feeding him - even though he'd probably keep waking up, looking for the feed!  I don't mind going out early and am happy to stick it out, it's just been tricky meeting friends with babies who go to bed much later as by the time we've all met up, I have to leave!  And many of their babies seem to sleep through more, or at least don't object to being got up/put in the car/played with at random times at night to keep them happy if they won't sleep.  I'm not sure I want to go down that road with DS!

Thanks for all your comments. Is the general consensus to keep the feed at least until 10 months - or maybe a bit longer just in case then?  Thanks!

[michaeljacknnugg]

My DS just dropped the feed himself. He's a tall child and I think he just needed the calories until he could take more as solids. Fully expecting this little guy to do the same.

[trimbler]

You could try pre-empting him and dream feeding at 8:30pm - do you think he'd take it in his sleep? We weaned the df with both by bringing it gradually earlier, that way they gradually took less and then could gradually increase daytime intake too so I didn't worry so much about getting hungry later in the night.

[ecwinters]

Hi
Sorry - appalling internet problems again!
We have a new router now

Yes, I'm hoping he'll drop it himself - he doesn't drink as much as he used to and most just likes the cuddles I think!  I may try gradually phasing it out if he gets to 11 months and still wants it i.e. pull him off after only a couple of minutes etc.  I think I read about this gradual method somewhere, rather than cutting it out completely.

I'm not sure about moving the feed earlier. I can't even go into his room normally without waking him up so the chances of feeding him in his sleep are zero really. This whole feed began because we started a dream feed when he was about 4 months old and after a week or so he started to wake for it...and it's been like this ever since!

Thanks everyone.