7 wks only sleeps 20+ min on our chests. We're exhausted!

[raw2839]

Never mind how we got here, what can we do about it now?

Our 7 wk-old will not sleep more than 20 minutes anywhere but on our chest. Here is our usual routine for naps or bedtime:

- Watch for tired cues (VERY difficult with our spirited baby)
- Take into dark nursery
- Sing a couple of songs then place in swing for while (until drowsy, which sometimes doesn't happen--he goes straight from awake to fussy)
- Swaddle
- Rock and paci until asleep (or at least VERY drowsy) in our arms
- Place in crib
- WAAAAHHHHHH after 10-20 minutes
- Soothe until asleep again
- Place back in crib
- WAAAAHHHHHH after 10-20 minutes
- Soothe again, place in crib again, cry again, repeat until we give up and just place him on our chest and actually sleep

This pattern holds true for daytime naps and for sleep at night. We hardly sleep at all now. We try our best to give him the sleep he needs, but it's always at the expense of our own sleep--we have to place him on our chest if we want him to sleep, but now we can't! 

We are exhausted and desperate. Please help!!!

**EDIT: Here are some things (accidental parenting, yes) we have tried that don't work:
- Co-sleeping
- Sling/carrier
- Swing
- Fisher Price Rock and Play

Also, the pediatrician thinks he has some mild reflux, so he is on Zantac and we make sure he is upright for 20-30 minutes after a meal. This seems to work, and we aren't sure that reflux is the reason he wakes up so quickly every time. He will do this even a couple of hours after a meal--shouldn't the reflux be a non-issue that long after a meal?

[michaeljacknnugg]

Sounds familiar!

My 8 week old would be similar if he were my first.

What I've worked out for him is:
We have to hold him once asleep/keep rocking him once asleep for 20 minutes or so until he's gone into a deeper stage of sleep - otherwise it all starts again from scratch which I think is what you're describing.

I think he has a relatively small sleep window, but I've not worked out what it is yet

Sling naps, naps in the buggy etc are saving my sanity right now! Plus he is in with me at night as he settles well then and I don't have the energy right now to change that.

I will try for some naps where I settle him in his nature's nest from scratch soon - I can just sit and bounce it for half an hour or so and read a book!

But for now I'm just trying to get sleep into him.

Hope that helps!

[raw2839]

Thank you for the response!

If you're suggesting we hold him until in "deep sleep" (if I remember correctly, Hogg says this takes about 20 minutes), we have tried that! We've held him upwards of 30-60 minutes and he is very asleep at that point. Nevertheless, after 10 minutes on his back in the crib, he's wailing.

I wish ours would nap in a sling, swing, or just laying in the bed with us. We'd happily take that over him preferring being literally placed on our chest. It's just so limiting. We can't take care of chores around the house or sleep ourselves.

[trimbler]

Hi there, welcome and big (((hugs))) you must be exhausted! I'm afraid I don't have much more to add to what MJ&N said, but I can't help wondering whether the reflux is really under control just yet? Even if he's not actually bringing up so much any more, he may still be getting pain from silent reflux. That waking after 10/20 mins can often indicate discomfort, so I'm wondering how long he's been on the Zantac and whether you've had any follow up appointments since? There are stronger medications if the Zantac isn't working, talk to your doctor if you think this may be the case. Does he seem to prefer sleeping in more upright positions, ie slightly upright on his tummy on your chest? Did you try the sling with an upright position, or was it a cradle position? Have a read of this in the meantime and see what you think: Reflux 101 - General reflux information

I may be barking up the wrong tree completely, if he's not in any discomfort, you could try maintaining contact with him in the crib (eg shh pat or some variation) after you've placed him there, and see if you can help him through those 10/20min sleep transitions all the way into deep sleep. You may even find that when he wakes  you can try soothing him in the crib, rather than picking him up to soothe. Actually, if reflux is an issue then picking him up and putting him down a lot could exacerbate that.

[zissi]

I had 2 chest sleepers and I managed to roll them off once in deep sleep, like after 30 mins. usually onto their sides. like belly to belly if you know what I mean? Could this be an option for you? Its hard but some LO's just need that physical contact. could you take turns with your husband? like you do 3 hours, then feed and then DH takes the baby?

[michaeljacknnugg]

What kind of sling do you have? It might take a bit of experimentation to find one that works. Do you have a sling library near you?

Also I hesitate to recommend it because DS2 isn't fully settled in there yet, but do take a look at Amby baby hammocks. (we have the nature's nest). It feels like being held to them and you can eventually settle them just by placing baby in and having him bounce himself off to sleep. It was fab for my first so we got a secondhand one this time.