10 mo constantly waking at night

[Stardust84]

Hi everyone,
I posted about 5 months ago when we started ST our LO. He is now 10 months and we still pat him to sleep a bit but much less than before for naps and at night. We are trying to reduce it but other sleep issues have gotten in the way. We still have not had him sleep through the night or only wake up 1 to 2 times to nurse. He wakes about 8 times a night and I nurse between 1 to 3 times a night. Most of his wakings are between 7 pm and 12 am with longer stretches in the morning. We know he is overtired but when we put him down for bed earlier he still wakes as many times and wakes earlier in the morning. Here is our routine

Anywhere between 5 - 545: Wake up and H will hold until 6 ( we were trying to avoid the EW but it hasn't helped at all)
6 am: breastfeeding
745 am: breastfeed
8 am: breakfast
9 am: nap
11 am: breastfeed
1 pm: lunch
2 pm: breastfeed
230 pm: nap
345 -  4 pm: breastfeed
545: dinner
645: breastfeed
7 pm: bedtime

We have a pretty sold bt routine and he normally goes down easily for naps. He has been waking more during him naps. I think this is due to separation anxiety and normally goes back down easily. I know it looks like he nurses a lot but I think he snacks at some of these times and I want to make sure he gets enough as he has struggled to gain weight his whole life. He has reflux but it is controlled and has gotten a lot better in the last month.

Does anyone have any advice on

A. Recovering his sleep debt?
B. Getting him to sleep longer stretches at night? ( I am OK with getting up to nurse 1-2 times but the constant wakings are ridiculous)

Thank you in advance from 2 very sleep deprived parents

[trimbler]

Hi there, (((hugs))) you must be exhausted! Just to help us understand his routine a bit better, can you tell us how long his naps are,please? It looks like he's doing 2h for his first nap? If so, I can't help wondering whether he's using that first nap to catch up on the sleep he should have had at night, it may be worth capping that first nap and bringing the second nap earlier, in the hope that he has a longer pm nap and then can handle the longer A to BT without getting OT. But I may be jumping ahead of myself here, so please could you confirm those nap lengths, and I'll think through it a bit more... But in the meantime, this is what I'm thinking (1st approach) - have a read and see what you think: From 2 to 1 nap transition (10-12m and older)

Also wondered if you could tell me a bit more about his feeding - how long does he spend, do you offer both sides each feeding, how is his weight gain currently, does he seem ravenous for feeds or not so interested or do you feel he's more looking for comfort? Are his stools normal? I know the BW books encourage us to avoid letting LOs snack, but the consensus on here is that Tracy would probably have updated the breastfeeding parts of her books in the light of more recent research, as our understanding of breastfeeding has changed since they were published. So it may well be that the combination of your milk production and his feeding requirements means that he needs to eat more often, which is why I'm interested to know a bit more, and it may ask one of our bf mods to pop on to have a look...

[Stardust84]

Thank you for your reply.

Normally his first nap is 2 hours and his second is at least one hour. Both use to be two hours until a few weeks (maybe a month) ago. He only had a 1 hour nap this morning so the afternoon nap was pushed forward 1 hour. We will see if this makes any difference.

I read the link you attached. I don't think this is the problem though. He dropped the 3rd nap early (5.5 mo) and I don't think he is showing signs of wanting to drop another. Also, the early wake time is relatively consistent. Normally it is 540ish. The only time it is earlier for the most part is if he wakes after 430 am to nurse. When that happens I don't think he has sufficient sleep drive to go back to sleep.

He nurses for about 5-10 minutes total each time and I offer both sides. He is normally pretty eager to nurse unless distracted. If he isn't hungry he just pulls off and tries to roll away from me. His weight is good now but part of me worries he is getting too much from solid foods. His stool is normal and he poops at least twice a day.

Any additional insight would be greatly appreciated. My husband wants to consider CC so I need to find another solution for all his night wakings.

[trimbler]

Yes it will be interesting to see what difference the 1h morning nap makes. I don't think he'd be ready to actually drop a nap just yet, but the 2-1 transition can take several months and starting to cap one of the naps is just the beginning of the transition, I think I started that around 10mo for both of mine, and they only fully made the transition at 18mo! Well actually, DD isn't completely there even now Oh and they only dropped their 3rd nap at 8/9mo - so if yours dropped it early, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he needed to start the transition process around now.

The feeding seems reasonable to me, especially if he's at a good weight for him and eating solids well. I wouldn't worry about getting too much from solids, each LO weans slightly differently and if he's feeding as much as he is and having normal stools (and wet nappies?) then I'm sure he's getting enough milk.

Please stick around here for support with your routine and night wakings rather than letting your DH persuade you to do CC I know how horrendous sleep deprivation can be, but there's always another way that doesn't break the bond of trust that your LO has with you, and we will walk with you through this

I forgot to ask before, what are you doing when he wakes at night, for those wakings where he doesn't feed? And how does he respond? When he feeds, does he resettle straight away, or take a while to get back off after finishing his feed?

[Stardust84]

Well yesterday pretty much the same as all other days. His second nap was two hours so I am not sure if switching them around made a difference.

I would agree with you about starting the transition to 1 nap with you if he was sleeping better at night. I am just not ready yet. I wouldn't be surprised if he is ready in a month though. I go back to work I. Two months and my mom will be watching him so I think I may be leaving this for her to do.

I will leave the nursing the way it is for now. I know I will have to start switching it up so though with me going back to work. I plan on nursing before work and when I get home but I doubt grandma wants to give him a bunch of small bottles throughout the day.  We will need to figure this out next month I think.

Yes he has lots of wet diapers.

My DH doesn't really want to do CC. I know it is just the lack of sleep talking. It is nowy parents trying to push it. They say they want to give us a night to go out but I am scared they will let him cry when we leave.

When he wakes at night eitheryself or my DH will go in and resettle him. It sometimes takes awhile but often is less than 10 minutes. When he nurses at night I don't think he is even fully awkae. He seems to go right back down with some patting. Every so often lately he will wake up after 10 min and need to be resettled.

The ease of resettling is what makese think it is partially separation anxiety.

I think the night nursings are mostly habitual. I paid closer attention last night during his second nursing and I didn't even let down on the second side and he was on that side for only a few minutes. Maybe it is time to start shortening the night sessions?

Thank you for the support!

 

[trimbler]

Ok, so just to humour me, could you post the timings for yesterday and the night so I can see what effect the different naps had?

I'm sorry I don't think I asked you how he settles at BT? Does he get to sleep independently? And once you've calmed him in the night, does he get back off to sleep himself, or do you soothe him all the way to sleep? What does he actually do when he wakes at night? Does he cry or scream, or just fuss a bit? I'm just wondering whether you can leave him for a bit longer before you go in to him - or is he full out screaming every time?

On a different note, here's a link with some other possible reasons why LOs wake at night - might give you seem more things to think about... 10 reasons (other than hunger) a baby can wake at night